Winter Hours and Mental Health Days For Everyone!

This morning, I woke up at 6:45 and looked outside my window and thought, this is not right.

It was still dark outside.  I know the days have been getting progressively shorter, but today was the first time that I really noticed how dark it was when I woke up in the morning.  Granted, 6:45 is not that early to wake up, but that only reinforces my belief that it should not be dark outside when I wake up.  I live 5 minutes from my office so I don't have to get up when it's dark outside.  I am not a morning person as it is, and having it still be dark when my alarm goes off, thus tricking my body into thinking it's still sleepy-time, is not enjoyable.

I have never relished the idea of waking up when it's dark.  When I was young and rode the bus to school, the bus stopped at my house at about 6:55, so it would actually still be dark when I was outside waiting for the bus in the winter.  It was awful.  I always looked forward to the arrival of spring because it meant it would be light outside when I went to school... and sometimes even when I woke up in the morning.  Sunshine means "wake up."  Didn't people use to wake up with the sun?  The cock-a-doodle-doo and all that?  I propose a return to that system.  Though, not the part where you work from dawn to dusk.  That sounds terrible.  I will skip that portion of historical time-keeping.

Now, I have no problem staying up late at night, well past dark.  I will admit that I often have trouble making myself do anything productive in the evening once the light is gone, but I just don't associate sunset with bedtime as I do sunrise with waketime (which may be a word I just made up. Webster's, I'll have my people contact your people...).  I will stay up until all hours of the night, and it doesn't bother me one bit.  In fact, I rarely go to bed before 11:30.  But, something about waking up and it still being dark is depressing to me.  I associate it more with having to leave on a long trip somewhere than with normal activity.  Growing up, we often drove to Florida for vacation.  And, my mom had the idea to leave at 2:00 a.m. so we would get down there by the afternoon and still have "the rest of the day" at the beach.  Gotta squeeze in all the beach you can!  I always begged her to let us fly so I didn't have to get up in the middle of the night, but to no avail.  Without fail, I would go right back to sleep in the car and sleep until a normal waking hour... like 7:00.  Obviously, I would never survive shift work.  Thank God for regular-ish business hours!

Which brings me to my great epiphany that I had this morning.  When I woke up, I thought to myself, work hours should change based on daylight hours.  It was like a light went off in my head!  (unintentional pun-nyness)  I mean, hey, we have daylight saving time to make the day "longer"... why not abbreviate work hours in the winter?  Right now, I work 8-6.  It is daylight out for most of my work day year-round, but in the winter, I have basically zero daylight hours outside of the time I'm at work.  It is dark for the rest of my day.  All of the sunshine is wasted on work!  In the summer, I get plenty of morning and evening daylight based on my 8-6 work schedule.  To get the same amount of sunshine outside of work in winter, I think I would have to work 9-4 or something like that.  Ahh, even just imagining it is glorious!  9-4... now, that would be the life.  And if any of you actually work 9-4, I hate you.  Just saying.  I wonder if Seasonal Affective Disorder (appropriately acronymed SAD) is a legitimate basis to cut back winter working hours.  You know, like "mental health days."  Does anyone actually take those?  Ah, to have a job where your boss wouldn't laugh at you and tell you to stop ruining his mental health if you told him you were taking a "mental health day."  Who gets to take those?  Yoga instructors?  Seems like your mental health would be a good excuse for not being able to teach yoga effectively.

The idea of "winter hours" is just the newest in my long list of great ideas to increase worker productivity and satisfaction, or at least my productivity and satisfaction.  Along with afternoon naps, non-smoke breaks, Casual Everyday, early releases on Friday, working from home on Mondays, free child care, mandatory four weeks of vacation... the list goes on and on.


As a parting note, Wikipedia describes the symptoms of Seasonal Affective Disorder as the following:

"Symptoms of SAD may consist of difficulty waking up in the morning, morning sickness, tendency to oversleep and over eat, especially a craving for carbohydrates, which leads to weight gain. Other symptoms include a lack of energy, difficulty concentrating on or completing tasks, and withdrawal from friends, family, and social activities. All of this leads to the depression, pessimistic feelings of hopelessness, and lack of pleasure which characterize a person suffering from this disorder."

Wait... isn't this almost every normal person in the winter? Way to reinforce my hypochondria, Wikipedia.

I so hope my library has this.

ALCRTY and the Art of Vanity Plates

Somewhere, some car possesses a personalized ("vanity") license plate that is clever and worthy of existence.  I have yet to encounter this car, but many have tried and fallen short of glory.

No.

Awful.

This mildly amuses me.

Seriously, though... I hate vanity license plates.  I have yet to see one that makes me think "I would totally want to have that 6-letter phrase on my car every day as a representation of myself for all the world to see."  I can't even think of something that I would put on a license plate if forced to make a vanity plate.  Not one single thing comes to mind that I like so much I would want it in writing on my vehicle.

I'm very indecisive... and capricious.  I used to change the style and color of my hair constantly because I could never make up my mind and got tired of each style so quickly.  I had trouble with long-term relationships because I always craved change.  I don't like making a decision and having to stick with it.  I grow restless.  This is why I'm convinced that I could never get a tattoo.  And why I stress over what I could possibly name my future hypothetical children.  How I have managed to remain married for over 5 years is a mystery.  Must be one of those "the exception proves the rule" things, a concept that I have yet to fully grasp.


I think that vanity license plates generally fall into three categories:  descriptive, names, and undecipherable.

Descriptive:  Refers to a characteristic of the driver or the car.  Some actual examples:  HOTROD, HI IQ 2, EYE DR, LUV BUG, MOMSCAR, LAWYER (particularly awful - are you not afraid of some criminal bashing your car in?)

Names:  Simply the person's name/nickname, in some configuration.  Some actual examples:  MANDY, JEN 92, JLX4 (all 4 members of family had initials JL).

Undecipherable:  Either I can't figure out what it is supposed to say, or don't understand why it is on a license plate.  I can't remember any from the former category, as they are simply jumbles of letters/numbers to me, but here are some examples of the second category:  ALCRTY (Alacrity, I'm guessing?  But, why?), NVSWRK (Nervous Wreck - again, why put this on your car?).


What prompted this post?  I saw the ALCRTY license plate, and I had to look up what the word alacrity even meant to understand why someone had this as their license plate.  Alacrity:  promptness in response; cheerful readiness.  Cheerful readiness?  Nope, not seeing it.  Simply a weird license plate.  Or I guess it could have meant "a-la-carte-y"... but, seriously, what's the point of a vanity plate if the driver is the only one who 1) knows what it even says and 2) understands the meaning behind it.  The whole reason they are called vanity plates is because they are for all the world to see... something "personalized" that represents something about you.  What's the point if no one "gets" it?

My last license plates were AB8... then a combination of 3 random letters/numbers (which I will not disclose so no one tries to steal my identity... hey, it could happen!).  Because AB8 sounds like "abate", I was seriously concerned that someone would assume it was a personalized plate, and try to figure out some meaning for the second set of numbers.  This troubled me.  It wasn't simply the fact that people might think I had vanity plates, but who knows what kind of awful or ridiculous things they could come up with for what my plate meant?  I was very happy when I got new plates that resemble no words whatsoever.  I am a nondescript member of the driving community, once more!  Huzzah!

No offense to my vanity plate friends... after all, some of my examples came from friends and family members.  I do not judge people for having vanity plates.  I simply, personally, hate the plates.  Thus far in life, I've never seen a vanity plate that has inspired a change of mind.  And, ALCRTY is not helping the cause...

Dream Jobs: TV Show Recapper

When I'm at work, I often daydream about the jobs I wish I had.  I'm sure everyone does this... probably even the people working at my "dream jobs."  Or, maybe the people working at my dream jobs wake up every morning and leap for joy at the prospect of another day on the job.  My cynical self likes to believe no one is that satisfied with their job.  I'm sure ice cream testers get sick of eating ice cream.  I'm sure professional athletes get sick of playing the same sport over and over again for exorbitant amounts of money.  And, I'm sure J.K. Rowling gets sick of Harry Potter.  Oh, who am I kidding?  No one gets sick of Harry Potter.  If I wrote the Harry Potter books, I'd wake up every morning and congratulate myself.  "Well, good morning, self.  You are incredibly talented, rich, and awesome.  What shall I do today?  Oh, that's right... whatever I want!  Because I'm filthy rich from writing the most successful book series in recent history.  Well done, me!"  Then I would ring my maid and ask her to serve warm scones and tea in the "parlor," because I would have one of those in my mansion.  After breakfast, I would retire to the "drawing room" for a day of leisure and dabbling in my assorted refined hobbies.  Did I mention another dream of mine is to live in a Jane Austen novel?

A sneak peek into the parlor of my historic estate in the English countryside.

I decided my "dream jobs" may serve as another fascinating featurette for myself on the blog.  I say fascinating "for myself" because I like to give myself reasonable parameters for success.  If I have learned anything in life, it's that low expectations are fundamental to self-esteem and overall life satisfaction.  You know that saying, "Shoot for the moon... even if you miss, you'll land among the stars"?  One, that saying is factually incorrect, as the stars are farther away than the moon (or perhaps the author is employing a very liberal definition of the word "among").  Two, if you shoot for something and fail to attain it, you will be disappointed, no matter where you end up.  That's simply life.  Take, for example, a story of two children climbing trees.  The first child is arrogant and says he is going to climb all the way to the highest branch.  The second is more humble and only wants to make it to the first branch.  Both children make it halfway up the tree, to, say, the fourth branch.  They have both ended up in the same place, but who do you think is more excited about it?  Yeah, that's what I thought.  Now, I'm not saying to underestimate yourself.  I'm saying you will probably be happier if you set realistic goals for yourself.  Which is what I do with my blog.  I write for my own enjoyment, and if it happens to entertain others, fantastic!


Now... on to my first dream job!  A TV show recapper.  For those of you who do not read entertainment websites, this is someone who writes summaries of TV shows after they air.  Usually they are more than simply a dry synopsis of the night's occurrences.  The good ones include funny observations or insights from the author, or perhaps a "running gag" that the author likes to employ.  One that I read has a list of her favorite quotes from the episode at the end.  One always points out when the male characters take their shirts off (something I never miss when watching a show...).  Things like that.  I don't read the recaps because I want to know what happened... I already know what happened.  I read them because they entertain me.  They are written by witty individuals who get paid to provide clever recaps of their favorite TV shows.  For any TV fan, this position is a dream come true.  To be able to share your thoughts on a TV show with the rest of the world, as an authoritative source for entertainment news? Be still, my beating heart!

Instead of writing humorous recaps of my favorite television shows, and believe me, I watch more than I would like to admit, I sit writing legal documents all day.  Sigh.  It's not that I don't enjoy being an attorney... I would just much rather be sitting on my couch at home, in my pajamas, getting paid to write TV show recaps.  The benefits are endless.  Working from home - saving time, energy, and gas.  Not having to get dressed - less laundry is good for the environment and my sanity.  The list could go on and on.  Basically, I would be watching TV as my job.  I already watch TV like it's my job.  I can only imagine how much better it would be if it actually was my job!

I'm not even sure how one goes about becoming a TV show recapper... but I would hazard a guess that it involves living in New York or LA.  And, some kind of journalist/writing experience or education.  And connections.  Sadly, I do not fit the bill for any of these made-up requirements, so I suppose this dream job will have to remain just that.

Or perhaps I will start my own TV show recap website.  Stay tuned...

Follow-Up...

Just a little self-validating follow up for a couple of blog entries....

Creepy Kids:
I was perusing the interwebs (interwebs, by the way, is my favorite obnoxious term for the internet), and I came across a slideshow called "18 Creepy Movie/TV Kids", and lo and behold, a good majority of my own creepy kids made it on the list!  Granted, some of the kids were not the same "version" of the kids on my list.  Like, they had the new Omen child, and I had the original one.  And vice versa on Village of the Damned.  But, still, these listmakers obviously know their creepy kids...

All-Natural:
I read an article saying that people are suing companies over the use of the label "all natural" as basically being fraud against consumers.  The article notes that the FDA has not really defined "all natural," and has only said that it's anything that is "not artificial or synthetic".  But, of course, what is the difference between those and how are they defined?  In my blog post on the topic, I posited that it was almost impossible to define "all natural" in a way that could be uniformly applied.

So, I say... good luck with that, FDA.  Enjoy the lawsuits.  How about we just ban the use of the term "all natural"?  Problem solved!

Judgmental Librarian:
A few weeks ago, we went out with some friends that live close to us, and we got to talking about books.  I said that I had been reading a lot, getting books from the county library.  My friend said that he always hates going to the library because he feels like one of the librarians is critiquing his book selection when he checks out.  I said, "I completely know who you mean.  Is it the guy?  Because he is so unpleasant."  He replied, "Yes!  I definitely know who you are talking about."  I informed him of the new self check-out, and he was very pleased to not have to deal with Judgmental Librarian, as well.

I felt so validated.

And, also, what is better than avoiding Judgmental Librarian with self check-out?  Checking out e-books on my Nook and completely avoiding any contact with the actual library at all!  Also, there is no way you can forget to return an e-book because it just disappears at the end of the rental period.  Magic!  Technology!

Orby, Our Backyard Spider:
I am sad to report that, due to gale force winds in a recent storm, Orby has disappeared.  I am sad to report this for two reasons:  1. I never got to see him eat a cricket (thought, we did feed him a fly, and it was just as awesome as I had imagined it would be), and  2. He could be anywhere now... and will undoubtedly scare the bejeesus out of me when I find him... or his progeny...

Embarrassingly, Blissfully Unaware...

The other night, we were watching the presidential address, and I turned to my husband and asked him, "What's our vice president's name again?"  I seriously drew a total blank on the name of our vice president.  I also had to ask who the Speaker of the House was.

At first, I was kind of embarrassed that I know so little about politics, especially the people running our country. Actually, if you asked me right now, I don't think I could name my state's senators.  They all just blend together - past senators, present senators, people who ran for Senate... I could randomly name people that I know are associated with the Senate somehow, but could not put my finger on who is currently serving.  You would think that, being an attorney and a PoliSci/History double major, I would know more about the government.  But, you'd be wrong.  I truly know embarrassingly little about the governance of our country.

After being embarrassed for a second, I realized that it made no difference to me who these people were.  My life is totally content without an exhaustive knowledge of politics.  I remember when I used to care about politics quite a bit, but eventually I became disillusioned with both sides and exhausted by the effort it took to care about it.  I decided that I thought our political system was broken, and I could not support either side.  It was disheartening to me to debate politics with people who were so intolerant of other's views and those who just blindly followed their party platforms without using their own brain.  And, this came at me from both sides... as I agreed with each party on different things.  Finally, I was driven to apathy and decided to stop following politics or even talking about it unless someone absolutely wanted to and could do so rationally.  I still vote, but I vote Libertarian on anything I can and "any other third party candidate" on everything else.  I have to describe myself as Libertarian because that's the closest I can get to a label that I feel I can associate myself with.  And, if I can throw support behind the thing I "most" agree with, great.  When it's not an option, I throw votes to anyone who isn't part of the current system.  I am happy to endorse any kind of change (except like, the evil kind...).

And, rather than spend my time being angry about the way the country is headed, or disgusted by party politics and the attendant garbage, I spend my time being blissfully unaware.  You know what matters to me?  My life.  My family, my friends, my job, my happiness.  You know what doesn't matter to me?  Politics and all of the lies, broken promises, intolerance, and general contentiousness that accompany it.  At the end of the day, why waste my energy on that?  Why let that be another stressor in my already crowded life?  Why invest so much of my well-being in something I have no control over and can only react to as an observer?  Watching coverage of political topics on TV or on news sites makes me feel depressed and disgusted.  "He's wrong, she's wrong... he's a philanderer... she's an idiot.  You have to be stupid to believe that.  My way is the only way.  I'm right.  They're horrible people because they don't agree with me.  He's rich, so he'll win."  Blah, blah, BLAH.  No one seems to focus on actually making America better, at least not beyond the campaign promises.  Congress can only work together on things like approving a memorial day for 9/11 victims.  That's something everyone can get behind.  Creating jobs in America and boosting the economy?  Not unless there's something in it for them, and specifically, something they can point to for re-election.  Gotta please the base!

I guess I should clarify that I am relatively informed on most of the major issues in politics.  I have an informed opinion about most political/social issues, and for those on which I am not informed, I remain apathetic.  I do still vote in all major elections, and even some not-so-major ones.  I just don't get too invested, which is good, since my candidates will never win.

People say that ignorance is bliss.  Some people say that ignorance is stupidity.... or laziness.... or whatever else it is that people say.  In this case, for me, ignorance is bliss.  It truly makes my life happier to not care about politics.  Does this make me uninformed?  Yes.  Does it make me stupid?  No.  Do I care that I'm uninformed?  Again, a big no.  I don't feel I am a "bad citizen" for keeping myself out of the political discourse.  In fact, I feel I am an ideal citizen because I am choosing a path for myself that makes me a happier, more productive, and more well-adjusted person.  This has to have a positive effect on the world around me, and thus, I am helping America by remaining blissfully unaware.  It is not the path for everyone... after all, someone has to care about politics.  I applaud those people, not only because of their dedication to their convictions, but also because they make it possible for me to remain a mainly apathetic observer.  We are all different pieces of the American puzzle, and I am happy with where I fit.

Somewhat embarrassingly, but definitely blissfully, unaware...