After a long hiatus, I am finally writing a new post! This semester has been perhaps the busiest time of my life... and that's really saying something when I think back to first semester of 2L year, which was quite horrendous. Ok, maybe that semester was worse, lol.
But, now, my first year of grad school is behind me, and I thought it would be good to write a reflection of sorts on the past year and this huge transition in my life.
For the most part, things have really fallen into place in just the way I had hoped they would. Steve moved down here in October, and he had a job secured by February... and not just any job, a job in a field he likes! It was such a weight off my shoulders to know that this move worked out for Steve, as well. The only true hesitation I felt in going back to school and moving us across the country was that it would hurt Steve's chances at pursuing his own dreams... but I think he is very much in a position to follow his own, as well. And, that gives me such a sense of relief. I know how much sacrifice will be involved in being an academic's spouse in the future, and I will be forever grateful to his willingness to "come along for the ride"... wherever that takes us.
After Steve got a job... we got a house! We haven't moved in yet, but it is really, truly, our perfect Texas home. Just like with our last house, I think we kind of "just knew" when we walked in that this was a place where we would feel at home. I can't wait to sit on our deck enjoying warm evenings and hang a hammock in the trees. Knowing that we will be here for at least 4 more years will allow me to really "nest" and make this place somewhere we can be happy to call home for as long as we have it. Plus, my parents are planning to spend a couple months each winter with us, which I am thrilled about! It really makes the distance from my family more bearable.
And, the crux of my new life here... school! Truly, things have gone better than I ever could have hoped. I feel like I am adjusting very well, and I don't know how the first year could have gone much better. All of my worries about how I would do in this new field are slowly evaporating. Sure, every now and then, I really feel that gap of knowledge between me and others, but the gap is shrinking each day... and I'm finding my own background to be of more use than I had anticipated. I feel like I have a real plan for the next 4-5 years of my life, and I can see it as much more "real" now. I come home excited to discuss what I did each day... which is a nice contrast to the complaining I did when I used to get home from work. I am sure Steve enjoys the change, as well :)
And, the best part is - I have never regretted or questioned my decision for even one moment over the past year, not once. It took me longer than some (though not as long as others!) to find what I feel that I am meant to do with my life, but I am so glad that I decided to "go for it" and not be complacent with a good job that didn't make me happy. I know that this is what I want to do, and I am lucky to have an incredibly supportive husband who can see how much better this is for me, and in turn, for us.
Is it still incredibly terrifying when I stop and think about what I actually did to get here? Yes. Do I still worry about my future? Of course I do. But, I never regret my decision. This choice was a gamble, and it still is... but it is one that I hope will pay off in the long run and one that I won't regret, no matter the outcome. I can look myself in the mirror each day and know that I have done everything in my power to give myself the life I want and that I did not shy away from the hard choices and sacrifice necessary to do that. I know not everyone is in a position to follow their dreams, and I am so thankful that I was... and am.
Friday, May 16, 2014
Monday, January 6, 2014
I Don't Wanna Play Anymore... :(
Saturday, two days after our first cancelled flight, we finally got in touch with someone at the Austin airport who told us that our bags had been flown back to Chicago. Hooray! So, Steve headed to Midway baggage claim... where over 1500 bags were sitting, which had either missed connections or whose owners never arrived in Chicago. He looked through them, and he was able to find one of our bags (my bag, actually)... but he couldn't find the other. So, he gave up, and we decided we'll just put in a lost bag claim and get it back eventually. Oh well.
At this point on Saturday, it had already started to snow again... as another winter storm was on its way. Our flight was supposed to go out Sunday afternoon... and Chicago was supposed to get a foot of snow before then. We were not hopeful, to say the least.
Sunday morning, I woke up and checked our flight status first thing. Cancelled. Ugh. But, at least we knew before we went to the airport. We cancelled our car, and we rebooked yet another flight. I contacted my friend to feed our cat again. This time, our flight was rebooked for Tuesday afternoon. And, no snow left in the forecast. Huzzah!
But...it turns out, snow isn't the only thing that will cancel flights. Sub-zero temperatures will do it, too! I checked our flight status tonight for tomorrow's (Tuesday's) flight. Cancelled. I wanted to scream at this point.Or cry. Or die. I called Southwest, only to be informed that their system was down, and they couldn't do anything from their end. Are you kidding me?! Oh, and we couldn't rebook online because we had previously rebooked over the phone. We noticed there were still flights getting out of Chicago to Austin tomorrow, so we tried booking the only one with seats available. Gone. But, wait! There was ONE seat left. And, I got it. So, at least I am going to Austin tomorrow, we hope. Steve... well... I found flights available to San Antonio, only about an hour's drive away. So, he's booked to San Antonio tomorrow. We paid insane amounts of money for these flights, and if Southwest doesn't reimburse us, heads are gonna roll at Southwest, let me tell you.
On separate flights at different times to different airports, chances are, at least ONE of us will make it out tomorrow. If Steve makes it and I don't, he'll rent a car. If I make it and Steve doesn't... oh well, I'll have our car. :) Now we are just praying that at least one flight makes it out, or hopefully, BOTH flights make it out. And, maybe, if we search the baggage area again, we might find our missing bag. Not holding my breath on that one!
Worst case scenario... both our flights get cancelled, and I guess we will drive back to Austin. Roads should be cleared, and God knows I'm not about to try rescheduling another friggin Southwest flight at this point. And, next year, let's move the Chicago Christmas to July! :)
At this point on Saturday, it had already started to snow again... as another winter storm was on its way. Our flight was supposed to go out Sunday afternoon... and Chicago was supposed to get a foot of snow before then. We were not hopeful, to say the least.
Sunday morning, I woke up and checked our flight status first thing. Cancelled. Ugh. But, at least we knew before we went to the airport. We cancelled our car, and we rebooked yet another flight. I contacted my friend to feed our cat again. This time, our flight was rebooked for Tuesday afternoon. And, no snow left in the forecast. Huzzah!
But...it turns out, snow isn't the only thing that will cancel flights. Sub-zero temperatures will do it, too! I checked our flight status tonight for tomorrow's (Tuesday's) flight. Cancelled. I wanted to scream at this point.
On separate flights at different times to different airports, chances are, at least ONE of us will make it out tomorrow. If Steve makes it and I don't, he'll rent a car. If I make it and Steve doesn't... oh well, I'll have our car. :) Now we are just praying that at least one flight makes it out, or hopefully, BOTH flights make it out. And, maybe, if we search the baggage area again, we might find our missing bag. Not holding my breath on that one!
Worst case scenario... both our flights get cancelled, and I guess we will drive back to Austin. Roads should be cleared, and God knows I'm not about to try rescheduling another friggin Southwest flight at this point. And, next year, let's move the Chicago Christmas to July! :)
 |
| Good riddance, Chi-beria!!! |
Friday, January 3, 2014
We Are Just Trying to Find a Gate...
So, yesterday may have been one of the most exhausting days of my life... and it involved mostly sitting. And waiting. Lots of both of those things.
We have been in Chicago for the past week visiting the in-laws, and we were supposed to fly out on January 2nd at 2:50pm. We left the house at noon, and the flight still showed "on time." It was snowing and looked awful outside, but flights had been getting out, so we braced ourselves for a probable 4 hour delay and decided to just go to the airport and hope for the best. After all, surely we could get out that day, even if it ended up being late. (See that foreshadowing I did by using italics?)
We got to the airport at about 12:50, exactly 2 hours before our flight. For the first time EVER, we checked 2 bags... because I had liquids that exceeded the allowed amount, so we figured we might as well just check both our bags and avoid lugging them around. The baggage line went pretty quickly... then the security line went incredibly fast. Overall, Midway and Southwest were treating us well at that point. We got to our gate, and it still showed "on time" for our flight. We didn't believe it, but we were hopeful.
Then... came the first delay. Let's remember throughout this post that our original departure time was 2:50 pm. First delay: 3:45. Ahh, not so bad. We decided to grab a place to sit close to the gate to wait it out. People were sitting on every available inch of floor against the people movers and walls, so we found a column to sit against. Of course, tons of flights had been delayed at this point, and the airport was packed. As boarding time neared, the second delay came. 5:55. Ok, that sounded more realistic. A 3-hour delay wasn't so bad. We left our gate area in search of food and actual seats to wait out the 2 hours and charge our phones. We found comfy chairs in another terminal and had some late lunch. Great, doing good.
Around 5:15, we headed over to our gate in hopes of boarding. Nope, sorry, three more flights have moved to that gate and are scheduled to go ahead of us. Delayed another hour to 6:55. Then, we heard nothing... for a long time. They boarded a plane to LAX, and they sat at the gate for 90 minutes before pulling out. Then, a flight was moved out of our gate... which allowed us to get some seats. They boarded another flight... then cancelled it before it could leave. Those poor people had been loaded on two different planes, only to be deplaned twice and their flight cancelled... after 12 hours of waiting. I felt a bit uneasy after that cancellation. They had been cancelled because there weren't enough crew members available. Everyone had been waiting for so long, crew members were timing out.
At some point, we got another update. Our plane was on its way! 8:20 departure time. Hooray! Then... 8:20 came and went. Changed to 10:15. Another announcement: our plane was on the ground, just waiting for a gate to open. Changed to 11:15. 12:15. We heard about an Austin gate... so we all moved to that gate, only to realize it wasn't our flight. Came back. Waited. More announcements: don't worry Austin passengers, you are the next flight... your plane is here, just waiting for a gate... your flight is not cancelled.
At this point... we had been at the airport for 12 hours. Parents were running out of diapers for their infants. People were sleeping on the floor. People were getting a bit loopy. The airport was slowly emptying as flights were cancelled. We saw some irate customers... the gate attendant had to call the police to remove one couple who were shouting and becoming aggressive. One woman cussed out an attendant in front of her young child, vowing to ruin Southwest's reputation FOREVER, and stormed off with the child in tow. We were all bonding at the gate, discussing the absurd situation we were in... sitting there, forever delayed, with no idea when we would leave... if ever.
Around 1:30am, the announcement finally came. "I am sorry to inform you that your flight has been cancelled." We all raced for the line to rebook. I got on the phone with Southwest while Steve waited in line. I got through first... but the first available flight was Sunday afternoon. Three days later. We took what we could get and left the gate area. The gate attendant said we could get our luggage back, because otherwise it would be on a flight to Austin first thing in the morning... exactly where we would NOT be until Sunday.
So, off to baggage services we went. First, we got in the wrong line, where we waited for 30 or so minutes until they said they couldn't help us. So, off to the next line. It was around 2:30am at this point. While in line, an announcement came over the loudspeaker: "For those of you with cancelled flights, we are NOT pulling any luggage. Your luggage will be sent to your final destination." We knew it was a futile effort, but at least we might be able to find out what was happening with our luggage. After all, all of our clothes, toiletries, medication, etc. were in those bags. We finally got to the front of the line around 4:30am. They told us our luggage was being flown to Austin... but that we could request that they send it back... and then we could pick it up at Midway when it got there. We decided to take a risk and hope it made it back by that night. We put in the request, then got a cab back to the in-laws'. At 5:15am, we were finally there. And, our cab driver completely price-gouged us... who knows if it was the overnight hours or just a guy taking advantage of the situation, but it was about twice the normal price. Oh well, WHO CARES AT THIS POINT. We just wanted to get out and go to bed. We paid the exorbitant fee and got inside. At least we weren't paying for a hotel for the next 3 nights!
During this entire time, all I could think about was that our petsitter's last day to feed our cat was on January 1st because we expected to be home on the 2nd to feed her. And, now our petsitter was on vacation, and no one else had keys to our apartment... so who would feed our cat until we got home 3 days late?! I knew I couldn't do anything about it at 5am, so I went to sleep. I verified that our petsitter was out of town when I woke up, and then I contacted my wonderful officemate and begged her to please feed my cat. I got my apartment complex to let her pick up an extra key, and she was able to do it. Only then could I truly relax and just not care about whatever else happened. Lucy would not starve! Hooray! I had her give her extra food, because, who knows if we will get out on Sunday!
Now, it is 9:30pm... and we still have received no word on our baggage. We called the number the baggage people gave us at Midway... and no one answers... and their voicemail is full. I called Southwest's main baggage services, and they could only contact one of the airports to ask them to call me. Steve left a message on Austin's baggage services voicemail. Hours later, still no call from either airport on where exactly our bags are or when we can get them back. Hopefully tomorrow... since otherwise we are getting them on Sunday, just as if we had left them in Austin to wait for us.
In the meantime, we are OK. It could be so much worse. We have somewhere free to stay. Yes, that dang cabbie gouged us on our fare, but it pales in comparison to the money other people are spending to stay in a city that isn't their final destination for another 3 or 4 days. We don't have babies who have no diapers or formula left... and no stroller because it was checked baggage. We don't have children crying because their vacations have been cancelled or they don't understand why they can't get home. We aren't missing work or planned activities and losing deposits and entire vacations. We aren't sleeping at the airport or stuck in a hotel with nowhere to wash our one set of clothes.
Except for the baggage debacle, this is a best-case scenario for having a cancelled flight. Granted, I hope to never spend 16 hours in an airport ever again, unless I am doing it willingly. I am not happy with how Southwest handled things, but there's no point in being upset about it. It's a blip; life goes on. We aren't missing anything important. We're fine. We will hopefully be home on Sunday evening... as long as that new winter storm doesn't get in our way. It has just been a frustrating, colorful travel experience that we can look back on and say "Well, at least it's not as bad as that one time!"
We have been in Chicago for the past week visiting the in-laws, and we were supposed to fly out on January 2nd at 2:50pm. We left the house at noon, and the flight still showed "on time." It was snowing and looked awful outside, but flights had been getting out, so we braced ourselves for a probable 4 hour delay and decided to just go to the airport and hope for the best. After all, surely we could get out that day, even if it ended up being late. (See that foreshadowing I did by using italics?)
We got to the airport at about 12:50, exactly 2 hours before our flight. For the first time EVER, we checked 2 bags... because I had liquids that exceeded the allowed amount, so we figured we might as well just check both our bags and avoid lugging them around. The baggage line went pretty quickly... then the security line went incredibly fast. Overall, Midway and Southwest were treating us well at that point. We got to our gate, and it still showed "on time" for our flight. We didn't believe it, but we were hopeful.
Then... came the first delay. Let's remember throughout this post that our original departure time was 2:50 pm. First delay: 3:45. Ahh, not so bad. We decided to grab a place to sit close to the gate to wait it out. People were sitting on every available inch of floor against the people movers and walls, so we found a column to sit against. Of course, tons of flights had been delayed at this point, and the airport was packed. As boarding time neared, the second delay came. 5:55. Ok, that sounded more realistic. A 3-hour delay wasn't so bad. We left our gate area in search of food and actual seats to wait out the 2 hours and charge our phones. We found comfy chairs in another terminal and had some late lunch. Great, doing good.
Around 5:15, we headed over to our gate in hopes of boarding. Nope, sorry, three more flights have moved to that gate and are scheduled to go ahead of us. Delayed another hour to 6:55. Then, we heard nothing... for a long time. They boarded a plane to LAX, and they sat at the gate for 90 minutes before pulling out. Then, a flight was moved out of our gate... which allowed us to get some seats. They boarded another flight... then cancelled it before it could leave. Those poor people had been loaded on two different planes, only to be deplaned twice and their flight cancelled... after 12 hours of waiting. I felt a bit uneasy after that cancellation. They had been cancelled because there weren't enough crew members available. Everyone had been waiting for so long, crew members were timing out.
At some point, we got another update. Our plane was on its way! 8:20 departure time. Hooray! Then... 8:20 came and went. Changed to 10:15. Another announcement: our plane was on the ground, just waiting for a gate to open. Changed to 11:15. 12:15. We heard about an Austin gate... so we all moved to that gate, only to realize it wasn't our flight. Came back. Waited. More announcements: don't worry Austin passengers, you are the next flight... your plane is here, just waiting for a gate... your flight is not cancelled.
At this point... we had been at the airport for 12 hours. Parents were running out of diapers for their infants. People were sleeping on the floor. People were getting a bit loopy. The airport was slowly emptying as flights were cancelled. We saw some irate customers... the gate attendant had to call the police to remove one couple who were shouting and becoming aggressive. One woman cussed out an attendant in front of her young child, vowing to ruin Southwest's reputation FOREVER, and stormed off with the child in tow. We were all bonding at the gate, discussing the absurd situation we were in... sitting there, forever delayed, with no idea when we would leave... if ever.
Around 1:30am, the announcement finally came. "I am sorry to inform you that your flight has been cancelled." We all raced for the line to rebook. I got on the phone with Southwest while Steve waited in line. I got through first... but the first available flight was Sunday afternoon. Three days later. We took what we could get and left the gate area. The gate attendant said we could get our luggage back, because otherwise it would be on a flight to Austin first thing in the morning... exactly where we would NOT be until Sunday.
So, off to baggage services we went. First, we got in the wrong line, where we waited for 30 or so minutes until they said they couldn't help us. So, off to the next line. It was around 2:30am at this point. While in line, an announcement came over the loudspeaker: "For those of you with cancelled flights, we are NOT pulling any luggage. Your luggage will be sent to your final destination." We knew it was a futile effort, but at least we might be able to find out what was happening with our luggage. After all, all of our clothes, toiletries, medication, etc. were in those bags. We finally got to the front of the line around 4:30am. They told us our luggage was being flown to Austin... but that we could request that they send it back... and then we could pick it up at Midway when it got there. We decided to take a risk and hope it made it back by that night. We put in the request, then got a cab back to the in-laws'. At 5:15am, we were finally there. And, our cab driver completely price-gouged us... who knows if it was the overnight hours or just a guy taking advantage of the situation, but it was about twice the normal price. Oh well, WHO CARES AT THIS POINT. We just wanted to get out and go to bed. We paid the exorbitant fee and got inside. At least we weren't paying for a hotel for the next 3 nights!
During this entire time, all I could think about was that our petsitter's last day to feed our cat was on January 1st because we expected to be home on the 2nd to feed her. And, now our petsitter was on vacation, and no one else had keys to our apartment... so who would feed our cat until we got home 3 days late?! I knew I couldn't do anything about it at 5am, so I went to sleep. I verified that our petsitter was out of town when I woke up, and then I contacted my wonderful officemate and begged her to please feed my cat. I got my apartment complex to let her pick up an extra key, and she was able to do it. Only then could I truly relax and just not care about whatever else happened. Lucy would not starve! Hooray! I had her give her extra food, because, who knows if we will get out on Sunday!
Now, it is 9:30pm... and we still have received no word on our baggage. We called the number the baggage people gave us at Midway... and no one answers... and their voicemail is full. I called Southwest's main baggage services, and they could only contact one of the airports to ask them to call me. Steve left a message on Austin's baggage services voicemail. Hours later, still no call from either airport on where exactly our bags are or when we can get them back. Hopefully tomorrow... since otherwise we are getting them on Sunday, just as if we had left them in Austin to wait for us.
In the meantime, we are OK. It could be so much worse. We have somewhere free to stay. Yes, that dang cabbie gouged us on our fare, but it pales in comparison to the money other people are spending to stay in a city that isn't their final destination for another 3 or 4 days. We don't have babies who have no diapers or formula left... and no stroller because it was checked baggage. We don't have children crying because their vacations have been cancelled or they don't understand why they can't get home. We aren't missing work or planned activities and losing deposits and entire vacations. We aren't sleeping at the airport or stuck in a hotel with nowhere to wash our one set of clothes.
Except for the baggage debacle, this is a best-case scenario for having a cancelled flight. Granted, I hope to never spend 16 hours in an airport ever again, unless I am doing it willingly. I am not happy with how Southwest handled things, but there's no point in being upset about it. It's a blip; life goes on. We aren't missing anything important. We're fine. We will hopefully be home on Sunday evening... as long as that new winter storm doesn't get in our way. It has just been a frustrating, colorful travel experience that we can look back on and say "Well, at least it's not as bad as that one time!"
Sunday, July 28, 2013
Let's talk about Tex, baby...
So, I've been in Texas for a few weeks, and I thought I'd reflect on some of my experiences thus far...
Driving
Seriously, the biggest thing I've noticed about Texas is how driving is approached differently. At first, I thought people were just bad drivers. After seeing a few near-accidents and almost being hit a few times myself, I have finally learned the secret to Texas driving. The secret is... you have to drive like you're the only person on the road and just hope for the best. Poof! You're now a Texas driver! Changing lanes? No need to check if there is anyone in your way. They will move if they don't want to die. Want to get around someone but there isn't enough room? Just cut in with inches to spare. They will brake. Trying to make a right turn, but traffic is too heavy and fast to let you in? Who needs an opening? Just turn. People will slam on their brakes, and you will make it... probably.
This same concept applies to parking. I have seen, hands-down, the worst parking jobs in history in Texas parking lots. Especially my apartment complex parking lot. Rule of thumb for parking: assume you are the most important car on the lot, or perhaps the only car. Park however you want, and if you take up two spaces, bonus points. People don't even try to hide the fact that they are parking like jerks. They just completely straddle a line and take two spots. Or park almost completely diagonal in a spot, making it impossible to park next to them without risking being stuck in your car, or getting door-dinged. I almost had to resort to crawling in through my backseat the other day when I returned to my car and discovered I had about 6 inches to open my door and get in. Luckily, just sucking in helped me wiggle through.
And, it's not even just Texans... the license plates are from everywhere. It's like people get here and just adapt this Texas-sized attitude about driving and parking. I'm learning to stop considering others and just do it. Whatever it is, just do it. Who cares?
Weather
I read somewhere that there are two seasons in Austin: summer and not-summer. It was an account of a Northeasterner's first year in Austin, and they wrote that they kept thinking it would cool down "in the fall"... only to realize that fall wasn't coming. There is summer, when it is ridiculously hot. Then there is the rest of the year, when it's not. So far, of course, I'm only getting summer, but boy is it a doozy. I've experienced heat living in Missouri. It gets hot in the summer... miserably hot. But, it's one thing to experience a heat wave in Missouri and another to realize it's going to be like that for 4 months straight in Texas. Granted, the heat is a bit drier, and we get more of a breeze here... so it's not as miserable. But, 100 degrees every day is still 100 degrees every day! I'm adjusting and learning how to cope with the heat.
But, the thing is... the heat doesn't shut down the city like it does in most normal cities. People are still out and about in 100+ degree weather - running, eating outside, just sitting outside reading, whatever. It doesn't faze them. I went for a walk the other day when it was 100 degrees. It wasn't awful, really. So, perhaps my body is adjusting already. Everyone says I'll get used to it... to an extent. I think they're right... but for now, 100 degrees still feels really freaking hot.
Orange
Ok, I know, I am attending UT in the fall. UT's color is orange. Out of all of the colors in the world, orange is the color I absolutely do not like. I do not own a single piece of orange clothing... well, until I moved here, when my mom got me a UT shirt. But, the proliferation of burnt orange in this city is insane. Everyone of all ages is wearing orange, it's in the stores everywhere, even people's cars are orange. Yes, I saw a nice luxury car the other day... that was burnt orange. And, the orange longhorn symbols are everywhere. Austin is definitely a college town. I think this is a bit new to me because Northwestern wasn't really in a college town. Evanston was very separate from Northwestern... and while you'd see purple close to campus, NU grads, for the most part, moved away after graduation. Evanston wasn't just full of NU grads like Austin is of UT grads. So there was never this culture of the whole town being about the university... but it feels a lot more like that here. I am interested to see just how much that explodes when the undergrads come back in the fall. Yikes!
Food
Before moving here, if you asked me what my favorite foods are, I would consistently rank three things at the top of my list: french fries, barbecue, and tex-mex. And, now I am in a mecca for two of those three foods! (And, they still have french fries in Austin, too... lol.) I have to avoid eating out so I don't gain 100 pounds in my first year here. I would like to thank the hipsters for the insane array of food in Austin. I think hipsters attract awesome food places for some reason. Now, they aren't responsible for the barbecue and the tex-mex, but they probably account for just about everything else... and I have seen a ton of restaurants I want to try! Good thing I am living like a poor grad student now and can't afford to eat out every night... or I would totally eat my way through Austin in a year...
Driving
Seriously, the biggest thing I've noticed about Texas is how driving is approached differently. At first, I thought people were just bad drivers. After seeing a few near-accidents and almost being hit a few times myself, I have finally learned the secret to Texas driving. The secret is... you have to drive like you're the only person on the road and just hope for the best. Poof! You're now a Texas driver! Changing lanes? No need to check if there is anyone in your way. They will move if they don't want to die. Want to get around someone but there isn't enough room? Just cut in with inches to spare. They will brake. Trying to make a right turn, but traffic is too heavy and fast to let you in? Who needs an opening? Just turn. People will slam on their brakes, and you will make it... probably.
This same concept applies to parking. I have seen, hands-down, the worst parking jobs in history in Texas parking lots. Especially my apartment complex parking lot. Rule of thumb for parking: assume you are the most important car on the lot, or perhaps the only car. Park however you want, and if you take up two spaces, bonus points. People don't even try to hide the fact that they are parking like jerks. They just completely straddle a line and take two spots. Or park almost completely diagonal in a spot, making it impossible to park next to them without risking being stuck in your car, or getting door-dinged. I almost had to resort to crawling in through my backseat the other day when I returned to my car and discovered I had about 6 inches to open my door and get in. Luckily, just sucking in helped me wiggle through.
And, it's not even just Texans... the license plates are from everywhere. It's like people get here and just adapt this Texas-sized attitude about driving and parking. I'm learning to stop considering others and just do it. Whatever it is, just do it. Who cares?
Weather
I read somewhere that there are two seasons in Austin: summer and not-summer. It was an account of a Northeasterner's first year in Austin, and they wrote that they kept thinking it would cool down "in the fall"... only to realize that fall wasn't coming. There is summer, when it is ridiculously hot. Then there is the rest of the year, when it's not. So far, of course, I'm only getting summer, but boy is it a doozy. I've experienced heat living in Missouri. It gets hot in the summer... miserably hot. But, it's one thing to experience a heat wave in Missouri and another to realize it's going to be like that for 4 months straight in Texas. Granted, the heat is a bit drier, and we get more of a breeze here... so it's not as miserable. But, 100 degrees every day is still 100 degrees every day! I'm adjusting and learning how to cope with the heat.
But, the thing is... the heat doesn't shut down the city like it does in most normal cities. People are still out and about in 100+ degree weather - running, eating outside, just sitting outside reading, whatever. It doesn't faze them. I went for a walk the other day when it was 100 degrees. It wasn't awful, really. So, perhaps my body is adjusting already. Everyone says I'll get used to it... to an extent. I think they're right... but for now, 100 degrees still feels really freaking hot.
Orange
Ok, I know, I am attending UT in the fall. UT's color is orange. Out of all of the colors in the world, orange is the color I absolutely do not like. I do not own a single piece of orange clothing... well, until I moved here, when my mom got me a UT shirt. But, the proliferation of burnt orange in this city is insane. Everyone of all ages is wearing orange, it's in the stores everywhere, even people's cars are orange. Yes, I saw a nice luxury car the other day... that was burnt orange. And, the orange longhorn symbols are everywhere. Austin is definitely a college town. I think this is a bit new to me because Northwestern wasn't really in a college town. Evanston was very separate from Northwestern... and while you'd see purple close to campus, NU grads, for the most part, moved away after graduation. Evanston wasn't just full of NU grads like Austin is of UT grads. So there was never this culture of the whole town being about the university... but it feels a lot more like that here. I am interested to see just how much that explodes when the undergrads come back in the fall. Yikes!
Food
Before moving here, if you asked me what my favorite foods are, I would consistently rank three things at the top of my list: french fries, barbecue, and tex-mex. And, now I am in a mecca for two of those three foods! (And, they still have french fries in Austin, too... lol.) I have to avoid eating out so I don't gain 100 pounds in my first year here. I would like to thank the hipsters for the insane array of food in Austin. I think hipsters attract awesome food places for some reason. Now, they aren't responsible for the barbecue and the tex-mex, but they probably account for just about everything else... and I have seen a ton of restaurants I want to try! Good thing I am living like a poor grad student now and can't afford to eat out every night... or I would totally eat my way through Austin in a year...
Sunday, July 14, 2013
The Year of Awesomeness
I am declaring twenty-nine the year of awesomeness. All awesome... all the time. I figure I can whine about the last year of my twenties, or I can rock it.
For some, 29 is a depressing age. I know I was not too thrilled about it at first. But, so far, it's pretty great. I think the big changes in my life are really helping me "come into my own," so to speak. A clean slate can do wonders. I feel like this is an opportunity to make myself into the person I want to be. And, I finally have the focus, the motivation, and the energy to spend some time on myself. Not by myself, though I am that, as well. But, on myself. I don't mean pampering days at the spa... I mean really being my own person apart from any kind of identity I may have established for myself up to this point. I'm keeping the best parts of "Old Manda" and building on them to make an awesome "New Manda."
I think when you are dissatisfied with portions of your life, you get lazy. You just kind of coast along without really taking stock of your life. In my "new life", I'm realizing just how much I stopped taking care of myself and how little I really know *me* anymore. One major realization was the hold that fear had on my life... on my decisions. I have often joked about my many fears, but my general trepidation and anxiety was having a paralyzing effect on my independence. I pride myself on being a strong, independent woman, but I have been so focused on others that it caused me to lose sight of myself and the way I wanted to live my life. How others perceive me, what others want, what others expect of me. When you shun those kinds of pressures and expectations, it's really freeing, and I'm enjoying the experience of taking control of this life of mine. I'm learning to ascertain my own wants and expectations and focusing on working to meet only those.
I am basically here alone until mid-October, except for 2 weeks when Steve is visiting. I kept saying that I was looking forward to some "alone time," but really, I wondered how I would cope being in a new place all alone. I've lived alone before... but I've always had a support system of some kind to fall back on. This is the first time in my life since I left for college that I've been truly alone. And, I must say, I'm impressed with how I'm rising to the occasion. Old Manda would have been afraid to do anything new alone. But, I'm doing pretty well! I've gone out to eat a few times alone. I've driven all over Austin to different stores and such. I have gone on walks alone, to the pool alone. And, today, I tried out a church alone. This may not sound like a big deal to some people, but after doing things with someone for so long, it's an adjustment to do things alone. I feel like a big part of being an adult is being able to "fend for yourself" and being comfortable and happy alone. Perhaps I am finally becoming an adult... or at least accepting the fact that I am one.
Now, I'm not saying I don't miss Steve. I do miss Steve... though we've only been apart for a week at this point. He is coming to visit next weekend for 2 weeks... then we will only see each other one weekend between August 4 and October 12 (not that I'm counting... lol). What I am saying is that I think this time apart can only be good for both me and our marriage. We are lucky to have such a great marriage, and tomorrow is our 7th wedding anniversary. We are both different people than we were when we got married, but we have grown together instead of apart. But, part of what makes our marriage work is that we are our own people, and I think we can only benefit from each of us being the best possible versions of ourselves. This time apart will not only help us understand ourselves better but will also help us appreciate each other more than we already do and not take each other for granted. Already, I am gaining a deeper appreciation of Steve's height as I struggle to fill the top shelves...
In short, what I'm trying to say is... bring it on, 29. And keep it coming...
For some, 29 is a depressing age. I know I was not too thrilled about it at first. But, so far, it's pretty great. I think the big changes in my life are really helping me "come into my own," so to speak. A clean slate can do wonders. I feel like this is an opportunity to make myself into the person I want to be. And, I finally have the focus, the motivation, and the energy to spend some time on myself. Not by myself, though I am that, as well. But, on myself. I don't mean pampering days at the spa... I mean really being my own person apart from any kind of identity I may have established for myself up to this point. I'm keeping the best parts of "Old Manda" and building on them to make an awesome "New Manda."
I think when you are dissatisfied with portions of your life, you get lazy. You just kind of coast along without really taking stock of your life. In my "new life", I'm realizing just how much I stopped taking care of myself and how little I really know *me* anymore. One major realization was the hold that fear had on my life... on my decisions. I have often joked about my many fears, but my general trepidation and anxiety was having a paralyzing effect on my independence. I pride myself on being a strong, independent woman, but I have been so focused on others that it caused me to lose sight of myself and the way I wanted to live my life. How others perceive me, what others want, what others expect of me. When you shun those kinds of pressures and expectations, it's really freeing, and I'm enjoying the experience of taking control of this life of mine. I'm learning to ascertain my own wants and expectations and focusing on working to meet only those.
I am basically here alone until mid-October, except for 2 weeks when Steve is visiting. I kept saying that I was looking forward to some "alone time," but really, I wondered how I would cope being in a new place all alone. I've lived alone before... but I've always had a support system of some kind to fall back on. This is the first time in my life since I left for college that I've been truly alone. And, I must say, I'm impressed with how I'm rising to the occasion. Old Manda would have been afraid to do anything new alone. But, I'm doing pretty well! I've gone out to eat a few times alone. I've driven all over Austin to different stores and such. I have gone on walks alone, to the pool alone. And, today, I tried out a church alone. This may not sound like a big deal to some people, but after doing things with someone for so long, it's an adjustment to do things alone. I feel like a big part of being an adult is being able to "fend for yourself" and being comfortable and happy alone. Perhaps I am finally becoming an adult... or at least accepting the fact that I am one.
Now, I'm not saying I don't miss Steve. I do miss Steve... though we've only been apart for a week at this point. He is coming to visit next weekend for 2 weeks... then we will only see each other one weekend between August 4 and October 12 (not that I'm counting... lol). What I am saying is that I think this time apart can only be good for both me and our marriage. We are lucky to have such a great marriage, and tomorrow is our 7th wedding anniversary. We are both different people than we were when we got married, but we have grown together instead of apart. But, part of what makes our marriage work is that we are our own people, and I think we can only benefit from each of us being the best possible versions of ourselves. This time apart will not only help us understand ourselves better but will also help us appreciate each other more than we already do and not take each other for granted. Already, I am gaining a deeper appreciation of Steve's height as I struggle to fill the top shelves...
In short, what I'm trying to say is... bring it on, 29. And keep it coming...
Monday, June 17, 2013
Leaving the Law
When I told my mom that I was changing careers, she said that she hoped I hadn't wasted the last 7 years of my life. I wasn't upset by her comment; I knew what she meant. Three years of specialized schooling, plus almost 4 years working in one career... just to up and change directions.
It does seem a bit of a serpentine path; it's something I contemplated very seriously over the past year or so. And, in my questioning, I always came to the same answer: I do not regret my time in the law and do not believe it was a "waste."
I believe that we learn from every major experience in our lives, even if it's just that something "wasn't right," which is valuable in and of itself. If we learn more than that, even better. And, I believe I have learned and gained so much from my experience in the law. I am undoubtedly a different person today than I was 7 years ago when I graduated college, and I'd like to think I'm better. Perhaps "better" isn't the right term, as it's not really fair to compare my younger self to my current self since we had completely different perspectives and life experiences. But, I definitely feel like I'm more than I was then. More secure in myself and my abilities. More aware of the world around me and my reactions to it. More mature, more wise. More stable, more independent... more determined.
On Friday, when I was leaving the office, I went to say goodbye to my coworker and remarked that it was the last Friday I could say "see you on Monday." And, she asked me how I was feeling about that - if it was just "happy." And, I had to reply that I had mixed feelings about it. Of course, I'm incredibly excited to be starting something new, but it's also a bit terrifying. I have been mentoring my replacement at the firm and helping him transition to taking over some of my roles in the office, and in the midst of it all, I have realized just how far I've come since my first day here in September of 2009. I realized that even though I was leaving my job, I was good at my job, and I knew stuff. Like, not just some stuff... I know a lot of stuff. And it was a bittersweet realization. I am finally at a point in my career where I feel like I'm kind of at the pinnacle of my abilities. After 4 years, I am a specialist of sorts in my area of the law. I can answer people's questions without having to look things up, I can cite statutes off the top of my head, and I can recall cases where I've done this or that and can draw upon my experiences. I can teach someone else how to do my job and do it with authority. I feel like I'm more like a peer of my boss at this point, instead of an underling. I have come a long way. And, right when I feel like I'm getting close to the top, I'm hopping off the ladder.
However, this made me feel better about my new direction, in a roundabout sort of way. Thinking back, I remember how I knew nothing before starting law school. And, here I am, seven years later... good at my job. And, here I am, seven years later... terrified about starting school again because I feel like I know nothing. But I know that, in seven years, I will be back at this place again, only in a new field. I know that I will make it there... because I've seen myself do it.
Starting where I am, I think my experience in the law will do nothing but help me. It has made me a better writer, a better thinker. It has acclimated me to 50+ hour work weeks... and never being "off the clock." It has made me more perceptive of my surroundings and experiences. It has forced me out of my comfort zone time and time again, and has expanded it significantly.
I am sure there will be days when I miss the law... probably on days when I'm feeling like an idiot and just want to be back where I know what's going on. But, I see our parting like a couple who have simply grown apart and want different things in life. No anger, no profound sadness, no regret... just the end of our time together and the beginning of my new path.
It does seem a bit of a serpentine path; it's something I contemplated very seriously over the past year or so. And, in my questioning, I always came to the same answer: I do not regret my time in the law and do not believe it was a "waste."
I believe that we learn from every major experience in our lives, even if it's just that something "wasn't right," which is valuable in and of itself. If we learn more than that, even better. And, I believe I have learned and gained so much from my experience in the law. I am undoubtedly a different person today than I was 7 years ago when I graduated college, and I'd like to think I'm better. Perhaps "better" isn't the right term, as it's not really fair to compare my younger self to my current self since we had completely different perspectives and life experiences. But, I definitely feel like I'm more than I was then. More secure in myself and my abilities. More aware of the world around me and my reactions to it. More mature, more wise. More stable, more independent... more determined.
On Friday, when I was leaving the office, I went to say goodbye to my coworker and remarked that it was the last Friday I could say "see you on Monday." And, she asked me how I was feeling about that - if it was just "happy." And, I had to reply that I had mixed feelings about it. Of course, I'm incredibly excited to be starting something new, but it's also a bit terrifying. I have been mentoring my replacement at the firm and helping him transition to taking over some of my roles in the office, and in the midst of it all, I have realized just how far I've come since my first day here in September of 2009. I realized that even though I was leaving my job, I was good at my job, and I knew stuff. Like, not just some stuff... I know a lot of stuff. And it was a bittersweet realization. I am finally at a point in my career where I feel like I'm kind of at the pinnacle of my abilities. After 4 years, I am a specialist of sorts in my area of the law. I can answer people's questions without having to look things up, I can cite statutes off the top of my head, and I can recall cases where I've done this or that and can draw upon my experiences. I can teach someone else how to do my job and do it with authority. I feel like I'm more like a peer of my boss at this point, instead of an underling. I have come a long way. And, right when I feel like I'm getting close to the top, I'm hopping off the ladder.
However, this made me feel better about my new direction, in a roundabout sort of way. Thinking back, I remember how I knew nothing before starting law school. And, here I am, seven years later... good at my job. And, here I am, seven years later... terrified about starting school again because I feel like I know nothing. But I know that, in seven years, I will be back at this place again, only in a new field. I know that I will make it there... because I've seen myself do it.
Starting where I am, I think my experience in the law will do nothing but help me. It has made me a better writer, a better thinker. It has acclimated me to 50+ hour work weeks... and never being "off the clock." It has made me more perceptive of my surroundings and experiences. It has forced me out of my comfort zone time and time again, and has expanded it significantly.
I am sure there will be days when I miss the law... probably on days when I'm feeling like an idiot and just want to be back where I know what's going on. But, I see our parting like a couple who have simply grown apart and want different things in life. No anger, no profound sadness, no regret... just the end of our time together and the beginning of my new path.
Tuesday, June 4, 2013
Just Say No... to Bad TV.
With the elimination of cable TV from our lives, Steve and I have taken to watching cables series on Netflix. One of the dangers of watching past seasons of shows is already knowing what's going to happen... due to the proliferation of TV in pop culture. I read a lot of entertainment news... and thus, I know what's going on in shows I've never even watched. I am bound to know at least tidbits of story line from almost any show I find on Netflix. But... that's OK. And, I'll tell you why.
The other day, we were watching the second season of Mad Men. After finishing an episode, I mentioned to Steve that I already know what happens in Mad Men, generally speaking. I am only partway into the second season, but I know what has happened since then, and I know what's happening now. I read entertainment news, after all, and it's a popular show. But, I told him, it didn't make me less inclined to actually watch the episodes. I said that it is the mark of a good show when you can know exactly what's going to happen... and still want to watch it anyway. (Yes, I am quite wise.)
Over the years, many shows have fallen by the wayside in my viewing rotation due to this phenomenon, or rather, its flipside. Sometimes if I miss an episode of a show, I will read the recap to see what happened before deciding whether to just skip an episode or to actually catch up on my viewing. What has occurred with a few shows is that I'll miss one week, then another, and so on... and every week I will read the recap and be satisfied by that and feel no need to watch the episode. Then, the show transforms from one that I'm actively watching to simply one that I feel obligated to keep up with, out of some twisted sense of loyalty from the time I have invested in the series thus far. After realizing I had a few of these "passive" shows, I decided it was time to take the plunge and permanently cut them from the rotation. After all, if I am only interested in knowing what happens and not in watching the actual show... the show is not good.
I have problems abandoning shows I watch. The first show to fall off my schedule was the soap I watched growing up. These were characters I had watched for almost 20 years! And, if I could cut that... everything was fair game. Now, I am pruning my television queue like crazy. Bye bye Grey's Anatomy. See ya Bones. Adios American Idol. It's quite freeing to drop a show that you no longer enjoy watching. You realize how much of a burden watching the show really was. That sounds ridiculous, but I'm serious! You only get frustrated and disinterested with bad shows, and it makes watching TV unpleasant. TV is supposed to be entertainment. If I'm not being entertained, what's the point? This circles back to my whole reason for cutting out cable TV in the first place.
When you eliminate bad shows from your life, you free up room for good shows. Thus, your happiness and viewing pleasure increases. You can be friends with TV again, instead of treating it like a homework assignment. When you use TV wisely, it can be a wonderful tool. When abused, it can be the worst of enemies... the dreaded timesuck. Hours can pass, and you wonder (a) Why am I watching this?, (b) What has this accomplished? If you cannot answer these questions, you have fallen victim to the timesuck. But, remember, TV only becomes a timesuck if you let it.
So, please, use your TV wisely. Do not become a victim of the timesuck. Just say "no" to bad shows.
The other day, we were watching the second season of Mad Men. After finishing an episode, I mentioned to Steve that I already know what happens in Mad Men, generally speaking. I am only partway into the second season, but I know what has happened since then, and I know what's happening now. I read entertainment news, after all, and it's a popular show. But, I told him, it didn't make me less inclined to actually watch the episodes. I said that it is the mark of a good show when you can know exactly what's going to happen... and still want to watch it anyway. (Yes, I am quite wise.)
Over the years, many shows have fallen by the wayside in my viewing rotation due to this phenomenon, or rather, its flipside. Sometimes if I miss an episode of a show, I will read the recap to see what happened before deciding whether to just skip an episode or to actually catch up on my viewing. What has occurred with a few shows is that I'll miss one week, then another, and so on... and every week I will read the recap and be satisfied by that and feel no need to watch the episode. Then, the show transforms from one that I'm actively watching to simply one that I feel obligated to keep up with, out of some twisted sense of loyalty from the time I have invested in the series thus far. After realizing I had a few of these "passive" shows, I decided it was time to take the plunge and permanently cut them from the rotation. After all, if I am only interested in knowing what happens and not in watching the actual show... the show is not good.
I have problems abandoning shows I watch. The first show to fall off my schedule was the soap I watched growing up. These were characters I had watched for almost 20 years! And, if I could cut that... everything was fair game. Now, I am pruning my television queue like crazy. Bye bye Grey's Anatomy. See ya Bones. Adios American Idol. It's quite freeing to drop a show that you no longer enjoy watching. You realize how much of a burden watching the show really was. That sounds ridiculous, but I'm serious! You only get frustrated and disinterested with bad shows, and it makes watching TV unpleasant. TV is supposed to be entertainment. If I'm not being entertained, what's the point? This circles back to my whole reason for cutting out cable TV in the first place.
When you eliminate bad shows from your life, you free up room for good shows. Thus, your happiness and viewing pleasure increases. You can be friends with TV again, instead of treating it like a homework assignment. When you use TV wisely, it can be a wonderful tool. When abused, it can be the worst of enemies... the dreaded timesuck. Hours can pass, and you wonder (a) Why am I watching this?, (b) What has this accomplished? If you cannot answer these questions, you have fallen victim to the timesuck. But, remember, TV only becomes a timesuck if you let it.
So, please, use your TV wisely. Do not become a victim of the timesuck. Just say "no" to bad shows.
Thursday, May 23, 2013
The Secret Life
Warning: This entry is long.
So, if you haven't noticed, I've been a bit MIA for the last, oh... YEAR or so. I have been a very bad blogger. I don't think I can even call myself a blogger until I get some steady posting going on here! Though I don't like to make excuses, I at least do have a reason that I wasn't blogging.
First of all, I don't like keeping secrets. However, events that have transpired in the past 16 months have caused me to keep secrets from many, many people. And, let me tell you, keeping secrets is hard work. Especially when the things you are keeping secrets about are also hard work. During that time, I soooo wanted to vent on my blog about what I was going through, but then, it was a secret and I couldn't do it. My whole life was permeated with secrecy, and it seemed impossible to come up with anything to blog about besides those secret things... thus, writer's block and a bit of a conscious step away from blogging while I completed my secret mission. But, now that the secrets are out in the open, I can finally talk about the past 16 months of my life!
Ok, as some readers may know, I recently "announced" that I'm making some HUGE changes in my life. First of all, I'm quitting my job... and career entirely. Second, I'm starting a PhD program... in a completely new field. To top it all off, I'm moving halfway across the country. Now, I will tell you my story...
Once upon a time, about 16 months ago, I came home from work after a particularly harrowing day. I was in a really bad mood... in fact, my rage monster Rabia might have taken over my body completely by that point. Let's just say Rabia was making quite frequent appearances in my life. I don't remember exactly how it happened, but Steve and I got to the conversation point that, basically, I could not keep working at my job. I was not happy, I did not enjoy my work, and it was taking a toll on my sanity... and, in turn, Steve's sanity. So, I made the decision to start looking for something else.
First, I looked at legal jobs. All the time, every day, I looked. Occasionally, I found something I was qualified for... but never found anything that interested me. I applied to a few jobs, but realized I was not excited about the prospect of ANY legal job. I literally could not think of a position that would make me happy... only ones that would make me money and give me less hours of unhappy. Eventually, I came to the realization that the reason I could not find a job I liked was because... I didn't like the law. It wasn't that I didn't like my particular job... it was that I didn't like my chosen career, at all.
Let me tell you something... realizing that you chose the "wrong" career is kind of devastating. Once you have that realization, you are faced with a decision: either stay in your career and find a way to be the least miserable you can be, or find a new career. Option one does not sound appealing, though it is definitely the easiest path. Option two is terrifying for a number of reasons... most of all being the fact that you now have to figure out what you actually want to do. This is not as easy as it sounds; after all, what you thought you wanted to do was wrong. And, if you did not have some fortunate epiphany that "x" is what you want to do instead of your current career, then you are back at square one. Then, when you figure that out, you aren't qualified for it. Then, you realize all of the time, money, and effort it will take to get to where you want to go. And, then, you feel like a failure for not "making it" in your chosen profession. You even question whether you are capable of being happy in any profession in the universe... and question your own judgment on anything and everything... because, after all, you were wrong about one big thing, why not others? And, the whole time, you are worrying what others will think of you when you tell them.
So, yeah, the past 16 months have been kind of like that ^
Anyway, onward in the story. Initially, I thought I'd take a few years "off" and just do something personally enriching that I would enjoy... and which might lead to a job of some sort. I thought of trying to actually write... or get into nonprofit management... both of which had local master's programs. While looking into master's programs, I often talked with a friend who was a professor. I always told her that I envied her job and that I regretted doing a JD instead of a PhD after school. She asked why I couldn't just do a PhD now. I told her I felt like it was too late... I was too old. She convinced me that I was not, in fact, too old and that many people start degree programs in their late 20s... and best of all, she told me that you get paid to get a PhD. After some research, I realized that, yep, she was right. And, that pipe dream that had always been nagging at the back of my brain... academia... started to become a viable option for me. Once I had the PhD on the brain, it was just a matter of deciding what I wanted to study.
And, this led me to an epiphany that I feel most of us rarely have in our lives... where we realize that everything has been leading to something and can recognize and seize the opportunity to follow that path. I realized, looking back on everything I'd done that I truly enjoyed, that it always involved education. I had interned for the US Dept. of Education in undergrad, I wrote my major research paper for PoliSci on school choice policies, and my favorite course in law school was Education Law and Policy. Any time I was given free rein to choose what to study, I chose education. After speaking with a friend in a Higher Ed PhD program, he helped lead me to Sociology as an avenue to further my interest in studying education. The more I read about it, the more I realized it was the right fit for me. Once I had my ducks in a row, I talked to Steve about it. And, he had the same epiphany that I did: "this is perfect for you; you would be so happy doing this."
Okay, so this all took place from about February to May of last year. So, in May, I decided to start studying for the GRE and researching programs... to apply for admission in a couple of years... not right now. But, with Steve's term job ending this fall, he told me to go ahead and "go for it". The timing was right, so I changed gears in June or so and started preparing in earnest to apply that fall. I took the GRE in July, then started putting together a final list of schools in August. I researched every school in the universe and eventually got a final list of 15 programs. I spent weeks on admissions essays, securing letters of recommendation, getting transcripts, putting together spreadsheets of each school's deadlines, fees, and requirements. I even took a second job to pay for all of the application fees... which helped offset the costs but took up a lot of my free time. Applications were due in November, December, and January. So, I did a few every week. It was a ton of work, and I vacillated between feeling empowered and feeling defeated. But, on a day in January, I submitted my last application, and it was a fantastic feeling. Then, it was just compulsive email checking for admission results... for months.
Now, I know I talked about secrets. Here's where they come in. This ENTIRE TIME, no one in Steve's or my family knew I was applying. Most of my friends didn't know. My coworkers didn't know. Very few people knew. With such big changes possible, I wanted to be 100% sure of my future before upsetting anything in my "current" life. We decided we would tell people, beginning with our families, after I got in somewhere. So, for over a year, I kept all of this secret from those closest to me. It was really hard, especially since the process of applying took up a large part of my time and sanity.
Then... I got in somewhere. Then, I got in more places. In the end, I was admitted to five different programs... all incredible choices, any one of which I would have been thrilled with. All of this excitement was dampened by the crippling fear of telling people, especially my family. I kept putting off the announcement, and eventually, I decided I had to tell them before I visited my first school. So, I bit the bullet and told my mom. She was incredibly upset about it, as I knew she would be. She began to warm up a bit, or at least got better at hiding her unhappiness over the situation. I knew that my family was only upset that I was moving away from them, and that they wanted me to be happy, even if they did not want me to leave. They still are not "happy" about it, but they are happy for me and realize what an accomplishment and huge step this is for me in my life.
I visited three of the schools where I was admitted and had to take off work to do so. So, more lies! More secrets! But at least by that point, my family knew and I could discuss it with them. Then, eventually, my office found out, and now everyone knows! And, I chose a school... and we have an apartment in our new city of Austin, Texas. We are trying to sell our house, Steve is looking for a job, and I'm moving in less than 6 weeks!
So many people have asked me why I'm leaving the law. First, it's because I'm unhappy. Second, it's because I think I will like something else better. And, third, it's because I don't want to regret not trying. I don't want to be one of those people... and lawyers know them more than anyone... because the law probably has more of these than most professions: the people who wish they could do something else. I don't want to be 50 and stuck in a career I hate, wondering if I would have been happier doing something else. My fear of failure, even "perceived" failure, almost kept me from giving this a shot. I didn't want to admit that I had made a mistake. But, Steve asked me... "If, at the end of this, you can't find a job as a professor, will you regret doing it?" And, the answer was no. No, I won't regret taking charge of my life. I want to decide my own fate, whatever it may be.
And, most of all, I want to live with no regrets. What's the point of this life? To me, it's happiness. And, part of that is having a job that I enjoy. Because, let's face it, work consumes a large part of our lives. And, unhappiness at work bleeds into unhappiness at home. And, before you know it, Rabia has taken over your entire life. Wait, that's my rage monster, not yours... but you get the idea.
My brother's far-too-early departure from this world taught me that we just don't know how much time we have... so we better make the most of it. And, I want you to know, little brother... I am making the most of mine.
And she lived happily ever after... The End.*
*Don't worry... I'll be back... and hopefully on a more frequent basis now!
So, if you haven't noticed, I've been a bit MIA for the last, oh... YEAR or so. I have been a very bad blogger. I don't think I can even call myself a blogger until I get some steady posting going on here! Though I don't like to make excuses, I at least do have a reason that I wasn't blogging.
First of all, I don't like keeping secrets. However, events that have transpired in the past 16 months have caused me to keep secrets from many, many people. And, let me tell you, keeping secrets is hard work. Especially when the things you are keeping secrets about are also hard work. During that time, I soooo wanted to vent on my blog about what I was going through, but then, it was a secret and I couldn't do it. My whole life was permeated with secrecy, and it seemed impossible to come up with anything to blog about besides those secret things... thus, writer's block and a bit of a conscious step away from blogging while I completed my secret mission. But, now that the secrets are out in the open, I can finally talk about the past 16 months of my life!
Ok, as some readers may know, I recently "announced" that I'm making some HUGE changes in my life. First of all, I'm quitting my job... and career entirely. Second, I'm starting a PhD program... in a completely new field. To top it all off, I'm moving halfway across the country. Now, I will tell you my story...
Once upon a time, about 16 months ago, I came home from work after a particularly harrowing day. I was in a really bad mood... in fact, my rage monster Rabia might have taken over my body completely by that point. Let's just say Rabia was making quite frequent appearances in my life. I don't remember exactly how it happened, but Steve and I got to the conversation point that, basically, I could not keep working at my job. I was not happy, I did not enjoy my work, and it was taking a toll on my sanity... and, in turn, Steve's sanity. So, I made the decision to start looking for something else.
First, I looked at legal jobs. All the time, every day, I looked. Occasionally, I found something I was qualified for... but never found anything that interested me. I applied to a few jobs, but realized I was not excited about the prospect of ANY legal job. I literally could not think of a position that would make me happy... only ones that would make me money and give me less hours of unhappy. Eventually, I came to the realization that the reason I could not find a job I liked was because... I didn't like the law. It wasn't that I didn't like my particular job... it was that I didn't like my chosen career, at all.
Let me tell you something... realizing that you chose the "wrong" career is kind of devastating. Once you have that realization, you are faced with a decision: either stay in your career and find a way to be the least miserable you can be, or find a new career. Option one does not sound appealing, though it is definitely the easiest path. Option two is terrifying for a number of reasons... most of all being the fact that you now have to figure out what you actually want to do. This is not as easy as it sounds; after all, what you thought you wanted to do was wrong. And, if you did not have some fortunate epiphany that "x" is what you want to do instead of your current career, then you are back at square one. Then, when you figure that out, you aren't qualified for it. Then, you realize all of the time, money, and effort it will take to get to where you want to go. And, then, you feel like a failure for not "making it" in your chosen profession. You even question whether you are capable of being happy in any profession in the universe... and question your own judgment on anything and everything... because, after all, you were wrong about one big thing, why not others? And, the whole time, you are worrying what others will think of you when you tell them.
So, yeah, the past 16 months have been kind of like that ^
Anyway, onward in the story. Initially, I thought I'd take a few years "off" and just do something personally enriching that I would enjoy... and which might lead to a job of some sort. I thought of trying to actually write... or get into nonprofit management... both of which had local master's programs. While looking into master's programs, I often talked with a friend who was a professor. I always told her that I envied her job and that I regretted doing a JD instead of a PhD after school. She asked why I couldn't just do a PhD now. I told her I felt like it was too late... I was too old. She convinced me that I was not, in fact, too old and that many people start degree programs in their late 20s... and best of all, she told me that you get paid to get a PhD. After some research, I realized that, yep, she was right. And, that pipe dream that had always been nagging at the back of my brain... academia... started to become a viable option for me. Once I had the PhD on the brain, it was just a matter of deciding what I wanted to study.
And, this led me to an epiphany that I feel most of us rarely have in our lives... where we realize that everything has been leading to something and can recognize and seize the opportunity to follow that path. I realized, looking back on everything I'd done that I truly enjoyed, that it always involved education. I had interned for the US Dept. of Education in undergrad, I wrote my major research paper for PoliSci on school choice policies, and my favorite course in law school was Education Law and Policy. Any time I was given free rein to choose what to study, I chose education. After speaking with a friend in a Higher Ed PhD program, he helped lead me to Sociology as an avenue to further my interest in studying education. The more I read about it, the more I realized it was the right fit for me. Once I had my ducks in a row, I talked to Steve about it. And, he had the same epiphany that I did: "this is perfect for you; you would be so happy doing this."
Okay, so this all took place from about February to May of last year. So, in May, I decided to start studying for the GRE and researching programs... to apply for admission in a couple of years... not right now. But, with Steve's term job ending this fall, he told me to go ahead and "go for it". The timing was right, so I changed gears in June or so and started preparing in earnest to apply that fall. I took the GRE in July, then started putting together a final list of schools in August. I researched every school in the universe and eventually got a final list of 15 programs. I spent weeks on admissions essays, securing letters of recommendation, getting transcripts, putting together spreadsheets of each school's deadlines, fees, and requirements. I even took a second job to pay for all of the application fees... which helped offset the costs but took up a lot of my free time. Applications were due in November, December, and January. So, I did a few every week. It was a ton of work, and I vacillated between feeling empowered and feeling defeated. But, on a day in January, I submitted my last application, and it was a fantastic feeling. Then, it was just compulsive email checking for admission results... for months.
Now, I know I talked about secrets. Here's where they come in. This ENTIRE TIME, no one in Steve's or my family knew I was applying. Most of my friends didn't know. My coworkers didn't know. Very few people knew. With such big changes possible, I wanted to be 100% sure of my future before upsetting anything in my "current" life. We decided we would tell people, beginning with our families, after I got in somewhere. So, for over a year, I kept all of this secret from those closest to me. It was really hard, especially since the process of applying took up a large part of my time and sanity.
Then... I got in somewhere. Then, I got in more places. In the end, I was admitted to five different programs... all incredible choices, any one of which I would have been thrilled with. All of this excitement was dampened by the crippling fear of telling people, especially my family. I kept putting off the announcement, and eventually, I decided I had to tell them before I visited my first school. So, I bit the bullet and told my mom. She was incredibly upset about it, as I knew she would be. She began to warm up a bit, or at least got better at hiding her unhappiness over the situation. I knew that my family was only upset that I was moving away from them, and that they wanted me to be happy, even if they did not want me to leave. They still are not "happy" about it, but they are happy for me and realize what an accomplishment and huge step this is for me in my life.
I visited three of the schools where I was admitted and had to take off work to do so. So, more lies! More secrets! But at least by that point, my family knew and I could discuss it with them. Then, eventually, my office found out, and now everyone knows! And, I chose a school... and we have an apartment in our new city of Austin, Texas. We are trying to sell our house, Steve is looking for a job, and I'm moving in less than 6 weeks!
So many people have asked me why I'm leaving the law. First, it's because I'm unhappy. Second, it's because I think I will like something else better. And, third, it's because I don't want to regret not trying. I don't want to be one of those people... and lawyers know them more than anyone... because the law probably has more of these than most professions: the people who wish they could do something else. I don't want to be 50 and stuck in a career I hate, wondering if I would have been happier doing something else. My fear of failure, even "perceived" failure, almost kept me from giving this a shot. I didn't want to admit that I had made a mistake. But, Steve asked me... "If, at the end of this, you can't find a job as a professor, will you regret doing it?" And, the answer was no. No, I won't regret taking charge of my life. I want to decide my own fate, whatever it may be.
And, most of all, I want to live with no regrets. What's the point of this life? To me, it's happiness. And, part of that is having a job that I enjoy. Because, let's face it, work consumes a large part of our lives. And, unhappiness at work bleeds into unhappiness at home. And, before you know it, Rabia has taken over your entire life. Wait, that's my rage monster, not yours... but you get the idea.
My brother's far-too-early departure from this world taught me that we just don't know how much time we have... so we better make the most of it. And, I want you to know, little brother... I am making the most of mine.
And she lived happily ever after... The End.*
*Don't worry... I'll be back... and hopefully on a more frequent basis now!
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
A Life Without TV... Kind of...
A few months ago, we made the decision to get rid of TV. Not completely, granted, but we canceled our satellite service. It was costing SO much money, we just got to a point where we couldn't justify the few channels we actually watched. Out of the vast array of cable channels, when it came down to it, the only channels we were sad to see go were HGTV (me) and ESPN (Steve). I think these were our "go-to" channel surfing channels. When nothing else was on, we could always entertain ourselves with whatever was on these channels.
And, therein lies the problem! We got to the point where we mindlessly zoned out in front of the TV just because we had nothing better to do. We weren't watching TV to watch a certain show... we were watching just to watch. We figured we could not only save money by canceling satellite, but perhaps we would also cut down on TV viewing time.
Boy, were we wrong.
Yes, we are saving money. In exchange for satellite, we signed up for Netflix and Hulu Plus. Combined, they are less than $20/month. Much cheaper. But, as far as watching "less" TV, yeah, that didn't happen. I think we probably watch just as much TV as we did before.
However, our viewing habits have changed. When you have to actively seek out and choose the TV you are watching, you are far pickier. No longer do you have the excuse "well, there's nothing better on." I actually find things that I think will interest me, and I watch those. And, if 10 minutes in, it sucks? I turn it off. This is like a revelation! Turning off bad TV! Who knew?! And, instead of watching HGTV, what am I watching now? Critically acclaimed TV series, independent films, documentaries. When I'm bored, I want something good.Plus, I can't get HGTV anymore...
This whole "experience" in getting rid of satellite has really made me think about technology in our lives. So much of technology exists for convenience or stimulation... things that we don't need or could get elsewhere, in perhaps more healthful ways. Every once in a while, when I think about these things, I get the urge to disconnect, move to rural Montana and live off the land. Who needs this rat race and newfangled gadgets?
Then, I turn on an episode of Suits...
And, therein lies the problem! We got to the point where we mindlessly zoned out in front of the TV just because we had nothing better to do. We weren't watching TV to watch a certain show... we were watching just to watch. We figured we could not only save money by canceling satellite, but perhaps we would also cut down on TV viewing time.
Boy, were we wrong.
Yes, we are saving money. In exchange for satellite, we signed up for Netflix and Hulu Plus. Combined, they are less than $20/month. Much cheaper. But, as far as watching "less" TV, yeah, that didn't happen. I think we probably watch just as much TV as we did before.
However, our viewing habits have changed. When you have to actively seek out and choose the TV you are watching, you are far pickier. No longer do you have the excuse "well, there's nothing better on." I actually find things that I think will interest me, and I watch those. And, if 10 minutes in, it sucks? I turn it off. This is like a revelation! Turning off bad TV! Who knew?! And, instead of watching HGTV, what am I watching now? Critically acclaimed TV series, independent films, documentaries. When I'm bored, I want something good.
This whole "experience" in getting rid of satellite has really made me think about technology in our lives. So much of technology exists for convenience or stimulation... things that we don't need or could get elsewhere, in perhaps more healthful ways. Every once in a while, when I think about these things, I get the urge to disconnect, move to rural Montana and live off the land. Who needs this rat race and newfangled gadgets?
Then, I turn on an episode of Suits...
Friday, December 28, 2012
Spoiler Alert: Adultery!
I love chick flicks. I know they give women unrealistic expectations of love, but I still love them. When I have a free couple of hours to myself, I often sit down and watch a chick flick to give myself some mindless feel-good entertainment. I have probably seen 90% of chick flicks in the last 10 years. Probably not exaggerating much there, actually. Sadly. But, lately I have noticed a disturbing trend in some of the most popular chick flicks. They are all about adultery.
This isn't some after-school special from yours truly, and I am no puritanical morality police when it comes to entertainment... but once I saw the trend, I couldn't unsee it. The movie that was the culprit was "Something Borrowed." For those that have not seen this movie, let me give a quick recap: woman is in love with her best friend's fiance... has an affair with him... ultimately leading to friend and fiance breaking up and fiance getting together with woman, ruining friendship in the process. But, hey, everyone's happy!? It's ok because friend and fiance obviously were not meant to be together and woman really loved fiance more than friend did. Turns out friend was also cheating on fiance with his friend. All is well! Hooray! Happily ever after!
Wait, what?! Was I seriously identifying with and rooting for the protagonist in this situation? I was rooting for the woman to steal her best friend's fiance. Because, after all, it's true love! I felt kind of icky after this one, and then I realized that this movie is not the only one pushing the moral boundaries. In fact, it's more of the "rule" than the "exception." I seriously thought to myself, "in real life, all women would hate the friend who stole her best friend's fiance and would judge her and shun her." I mean, think about it. Who roots for adultery... except the adulterers...? Hollywood is really twisting people's minds here. When I thought about it, there are a ton of morally questionable chick flicks. I decided to make a list, of course.
1. The Wedding Planner. This may actually be the worst sounding in real life. "Groom falls in love with wedding planner." Enough. Said.
2. My Best Friend's Wedding. I know, they don't actually get together. But, the thought of someone trying to sabotage her best friend's wedding doesn't sit well with me. I am glad this one actually turned out realistically... like, "hey you're being a crazy person!"
3. Made of Honor. Notice a wedding theme? Yet another friend who is trying to sabotage a wedding. Though, successfully here. And, after everyone traveled to Scotland! The shame!
4. Sweet Home Alabama. So... there is so much going on in this one. Woman is engaged to someone who doesn't know that she's already married. So, technically, fiance is the "other man." But, then, she falls back in love with and leaves fiance for husband. Thus, husband becomes the "other man"... though actually he's not. When the husband is the "other man" that you are rooting for, something is seriously messed up.
5. You've Got Mail. Meet man on internet... you both have significant others. You continue to chat via flirty emails. Serendipitously (more on this later), you both break up with significant others for unrelated reasons and then can finally meet and be together. Granted, this wasn't "adultery" per se, but you were rooting for them both to leave their partners and get together. Same thing.
6. The Notebook. Just think about how happy you were when they got back together... when she was engaged to someone else. Mm hmm. Epic romance! Not so epic for that fiance... but, then, he's not Ryan Gosling.
7. Love Actually. This presents a nice dichotomy of adultery for the viewer. On the one hand, there is the sleazy boss/employee storyline of Alan Rickman's character. But, on the other hand... who wasn't kind of rooting a bit for the friend who was in love with his friend's wife? His friend could have been the nicest guy in the world (who knows?), but you were sure rooting for the friend.
8. Serendipity. It's the name of the movie! Some things are just "meant to be." Who cares if you have a fiance or whatever? This is your soul mate we are talking about here!
9. Dear John. I bet there wasn't a woman watching this movie who didn't want the girl to break up with her husband the second Channing Tatum strolls back into the picture. Heck, I would venture that you were actively hoping the husband would hurry up and die already. Death! You are wishing death upon people to advance the love story of two other characters! You can admit it. I can.
10. Leap Year. Perhaps you haven't seen this hidden gem. It is a cute film, to be sure. Who wouldn't succumb to that fake Irish accent (after knowing him for, like, two days)? Even if you are on your way to propose to your boyfriend... who then proposes to you, who you then dump to go back to Ireland. Poor guy can't catch a break. I hope he got to keep that fancy apartment.
Ten is a good round number, and you know how much I love round numbers... now, go feel ashamed of yourselves for feeling happy at the ends of these movies! Hahaha.
This isn't some after-school special from yours truly, and I am no puritanical morality police when it comes to entertainment... but once I saw the trend, I couldn't unsee it. The movie that was the culprit was "Something Borrowed." For those that have not seen this movie, let me give a quick recap: woman is in love with her best friend's fiance... has an affair with him... ultimately leading to friend and fiance breaking up and fiance getting together with woman, ruining friendship in the process. But, hey, everyone's happy!? It's ok because friend and fiance obviously were not meant to be together and woman really loved fiance more than friend did. Turns out friend was also cheating on fiance with his friend. All is well! Hooray! Happily ever after!
Wait, what?! Was I seriously identifying with and rooting for the protagonist in this situation? I was rooting for the woman to steal her best friend's fiance. Because, after all, it's true love! I felt kind of icky after this one, and then I realized that this movie is not the only one pushing the moral boundaries. In fact, it's more of the "rule" than the "exception." I seriously thought to myself, "in real life, all women would hate the friend who stole her best friend's fiance and would judge her and shun her." I mean, think about it. Who roots for adultery... except the adulterers...? Hollywood is really twisting people's minds here. When I thought about it, there are a ton of morally questionable chick flicks. I decided to make a list, of course.
1. The Wedding Planner. This may actually be the worst sounding in real life. "Groom falls in love with wedding planner." Enough. Said.
2. My Best Friend's Wedding. I know, they don't actually get together. But, the thought of someone trying to sabotage her best friend's wedding doesn't sit well with me. I am glad this one actually turned out realistically... like, "hey you're being a crazy person!"
3. Made of Honor. Notice a wedding theme? Yet another friend who is trying to sabotage a wedding. Though, successfully here. And, after everyone traveled to Scotland! The shame!
4. Sweet Home Alabama. So... there is so much going on in this one. Woman is engaged to someone who doesn't know that she's already married. So, technically, fiance is the "other man." But, then, she falls back in love with and leaves fiance for husband. Thus, husband becomes the "other man"... though actually he's not. When the husband is the "other man" that you are rooting for, something is seriously messed up.
5. You've Got Mail. Meet man on internet... you both have significant others. You continue to chat via flirty emails. Serendipitously (more on this later), you both break up with significant others for unrelated reasons and then can finally meet and be together. Granted, this wasn't "adultery" per se, but you were rooting for them both to leave their partners and get together. Same thing.
6. The Notebook. Just think about how happy you were when they got back together... when she was engaged to someone else. Mm hmm. Epic romance! Not so epic for that fiance... but, then, he's not Ryan Gosling.
7. Love Actually. This presents a nice dichotomy of adultery for the viewer. On the one hand, there is the sleazy boss/employee storyline of Alan Rickman's character. But, on the other hand... who wasn't kind of rooting a bit for the friend who was in love with his friend's wife? His friend could have been the nicest guy in the world (who knows?), but you were sure rooting for the friend.
8. Serendipity. It's the name of the movie! Some things are just "meant to be." Who cares if you have a fiance or whatever? This is your soul mate we are talking about here!
9. Dear John. I bet there wasn't a woman watching this movie who didn't want the girl to break up with her husband the second Channing Tatum strolls back into the picture. Heck, I would venture that you were actively hoping the husband would hurry up and die already. Death! You are wishing death upon people to advance the love story of two other characters! You can admit it. I can.
10. Leap Year. Perhaps you haven't seen this hidden gem. It is a cute film, to be sure. Who wouldn't succumb to that fake Irish accent (after knowing him for, like, two days)? Even if you are on your way to propose to your boyfriend... who then proposes to you, who you then dump to go back to Ireland. Poor guy can't catch a break. I hope he got to keep that fancy apartment.
Ten is a good round number, and you know how much I love round numbers... now, go feel ashamed of yourselves for feeling happy at the ends of these movies! Hahaha.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Quickie Update
Ok, it has been a LONG time since I last posted. This summer swallowed me even worse than last year's! And, it's not just summer. My life is just insanely busy right now. I can't really complain too much because I do it to myself, but it's still quite hectic. I need a time-turner, Hermione style!
So, this summer was amazing... because I went on my first-ever two week vacation! We went to the British Isles after Steve took the bar exam. We spent a few days in London, then did an eight day cruise of the Channel Islands, Ireland, and Scotland. Everything was spectacular, and I already have a few spots I'd like to revisit. Of course I do... I'd vacation 24/7 if I was independently wealthy. But... I'm not. At least not until I become J.K. Rowling, like in my dreams. Ahhh....
This summer, I also took a second job. People think I'm nuts because, hey, I'm an attorney. I make loads of money, right? WRONG. I'm really not complaining. I do fine, but I got to the point where I had no extra money after paying bills every month, and I wanted extra money. And, I really did want to do something productive in my "free" time, so I found a job that was flexible and that I thought I'd enjoy. So, I'm working teaching test prep courses for Princeton Review. I trained for ACT and SAT classes, and I just started teaching my first course. But, the trainings were a full weekend a piece, plus all of this outside prep work. The classes are 3 hour lectures 2 times a week, plus all the prep work... but once I have a few classes under my belt, I should not need as much prep. It pays pretty decent... better than retail or something, I'd imagine. And, I'm influencing young minds. Mwa ha ha! Watch out world...
Now that fall is here, church choir is back, too. So, we practice one night a week, plus sing every Sunday, of course! We also are involved in a young adult group at church, which usually meets one night per week for "fellowship", which usually involves drinks and nerdy strategy games, lol. I love our church!
Northwestern football is back in full swing now, too! Steve is the VP of programming for our local alumni club, so we have been attending every game watch party that we can on Saturdays. I also joined the alumni admissions council, so I help with college fairs and conduct admissions interviews when they roll around. We are very involved with our alma mater, and I'm hoping to go to an awesome bowl game this year. GO 'CATS!
We are also swimming in veggies from our CSA, and I feel like I'm neglecting them because I barely have time to cook. Ugh. I have vowed to cook our share this week before our next share arrives Saturday. Ha, we'll see...
Oh, and my mother has finally accepted that I'm not having babies anytime soon. Victory!
Really, I'm not. Like, I'm drinking a delicious alcoholic beverage as I type this, so get any thoughts of pregnancy out of your head. Yes, I'm drinking at 9:45 on a Sunday night. What of it?
Now that the hottest summer in my life is over, it's time to get back to running. I'm a wuss and couldn't handle the heat... then, you know, I kind of fell down the stairs on our cruise and bruised my shinbone pretty bad. It took 2 months to heal, and I'm ready to get back in the saddle... err... shoes. The goal is a half marathon next year! Or, maybe another 10k... we'll see how "committed" I am this year...
So, this summer was amazing... because I went on my first-ever two week vacation! We went to the British Isles after Steve took the bar exam. We spent a few days in London, then did an eight day cruise of the Channel Islands, Ireland, and Scotland. Everything was spectacular, and I already have a few spots I'd like to revisit. Of course I do... I'd vacation 24/7 if I was independently wealthy. But... I'm not. At least not until I become J.K. Rowling, like in my dreams. Ahhh....
This summer, I also took a second job. People think I'm nuts because, hey, I'm an attorney. I make loads of money, right? WRONG. I'm really not complaining. I do fine, but I got to the point where I had no extra money after paying bills every month, and I wanted extra money. And, I really did want to do something productive in my "free" time, so I found a job that was flexible and that I thought I'd enjoy. So, I'm working teaching test prep courses for Princeton Review. I trained for ACT and SAT classes, and I just started teaching my first course. But, the trainings were a full weekend a piece, plus all of this outside prep work. The classes are 3 hour lectures 2 times a week, plus all the prep work... but once I have a few classes under my belt, I should not need as much prep. It pays pretty decent... better than retail or something, I'd imagine. And, I'm influencing young minds. Mwa ha ha! Watch out world...
Now that fall is here, church choir is back, too. So, we practice one night a week, plus sing every Sunday, of course! We also are involved in a young adult group at church, which usually meets one night per week for "fellowship", which usually involves drinks and nerdy strategy games, lol. I love our church!
Northwestern football is back in full swing now, too! Steve is the VP of programming for our local alumni club, so we have been attending every game watch party that we can on Saturdays. I also joined the alumni admissions council, so I help with college fairs and conduct admissions interviews when they roll around. We are very involved with our alma mater, and I'm hoping to go to an awesome bowl game this year. GO 'CATS!
We are also swimming in veggies from our CSA, and I feel like I'm neglecting them because I barely have time to cook. Ugh. I have vowed to cook our share this week before our next share arrives Saturday. Ha, we'll see...
Oh, and my mother has finally accepted that I'm not having babies anytime soon. Victory!
Really, I'm not. Like, I'm drinking a delicious alcoholic beverage as I type this, so get any thoughts of pregnancy out of your head. Yes, I'm drinking at 9:45 on a Sunday night. What of it?
Now that the hottest summer in my life is over, it's time to get back to running. I'm a wuss and couldn't handle the heat... then, you know, I kind of fell down the stairs on our cruise and bruised my shinbone pretty bad. It took 2 months to heal, and I'm ready to get back in the saddle... err... shoes. The goal is a half marathon next year! Or, maybe another 10k... we'll see how "committed" I am this year...
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Six Years of Marriage
Yep, that's right. Today is Steve and I's sixth wedding anniversary. After six years, I feel like I am quite the marriage expert. I mean, heck, we've probably lasted longer than a lot of normal marriages, and 90% of Hollywood marriages! Keeping with my grand blog tradition of list-making, here are some things I've learned about marriage:
1. You have to work to make your marriage work. No, I don't mean you have to have a job. I have nothing against housewives/husbands (is that a PC term anymore? I don't feel like I can call it anything without offending someone). I mean, you have to put work into your marriage to make it work. I think the divorce rate can be explained by a lot of things, but I would imagine that one of the biggest misconceptions that leads to divorce is that marriage is supposed to be easy. I think a lot of people figure that if you are in the right marriage, it will be easy. You shouldn't have to work at something that is right... right? Wrong. A good marriage takes work. Isn't there some cliche about how nothing worth having is ever easy? Marriage is no exception. Having to work at your marriage doesn't mean your marriage is bad... it means it's normal! When you hit a bump in the road - and yes, there will be many of these - you don't just give up because things got hard. You work to fix it and move forward, learning all you can from the bump. Sometimes it's hard... really hard. You might yell at each other and say hurtful things. You might be so angry at your spouse that you can't stand to be in the same room. You might wonder why you married this person. And, guess what? None of that means your marriage is doomed. It means... you guessed it... it's normal! I once read an article discussing how it's normal to second guess your decision to marry your spouse... and often. Only in Nicholas Sparks novels do people feel 100% sure of their choice of significant other at all times. It's only natural to wonder about a decision you made that affects the rest of your life. The important thing isn't second-guessing yourself... it's the reaffirmation to yourself that you chose this person for a reason, and that you are committed to making it work. You owe it to yourself and to your spouse to reassess every so often and really look at whether you are committed to your marriage and to this person. If you aren't willing to work on it, it's not a marriage you should be in. Period.
2. You need your own life. Maybe this is my own need for independence skewing my opinion, but I think one of the most important things in a marriage is to have things that are separate from your couple-dom. Is it great to do things together? Sure it is. But, when you are doing everything together and can't function as individuals, there's a problem. I have perhaps unconventional views of love... like, I don't believe in "the one" or "soulmates" or whatever. I believe in good timing. But, my number one philosophy on love can be summarized as follows: "Love isn't needing someone. It's not needing them, but wanting them around anyway." I feel like you need to be secure in your individuality and self-sufficiency before you can be in a truly healthy relationship. Something about extreme co-dependency just creeps me out. I love spending time with my husband, but I also really enjoy weekends apart and just having time to myself. My favorite thing about having a house vs. our old one-bedroom places, is that now we can be in separate rooms if we want! Steve and I sometimes take trips without each other, go out with friends separately, and are even involved in separate activities/hobbies. It's nice to have your own life! We aren't forever attached at the hip, aren't always one social unit. We have our own lives, and we enjoy them. Then, when we do things together, it feels more like a choice than an obligation.
3. Talk to each other. No, really, talk to each other. I think both sides are guilty of this one. Women are often passive-aggressive, and men are notoriously bad at communicating. Guess what? If you never tell your husband that it makes you angry when he doesn't put his dishes in the dishwasher, he will never do it. If you never tell your wife that you feel like she is taking her day out on you unfairly, she will never stop. It's as simple as that: if you don't communicate with your spouse, you can't get the results you desire. Which leads to frustration, dissatisfaction, and ultimately lands you in a position where the marriage seems irreparable. All of those little issues can build up into a load of resentment and ruin a perfectly good marriage. I think Steve and I do a good job of trying to tell each other how we feel and what we want, and the other tries to respond accordingly. You might create some friction at first, but having a little fight now is worth avoiding a lifetime of disappointment. Don't just accept that something will always "just be this way." It might not if you actually told your spouse and discussed it constructively to reach a solution. I think the real problem is that people just complain to their spouses about things and don't make a real effort to solve the problem. Or maybe they don't even really want to solve the problem. When you decide to bring an issue up, you should have a slate of solutions already brewing in your brain. Communication isn't complaining... it's discussing. That means it goes both ways and should have a constructive end of some kind. As an additional, related thought... don't complain to your friends about something your spouse does if you have not tried to address the behavior with your spouse. That just not fair, people. Give em a shot!
4. Have fun together. This one doesn't need much discussion. Just do what it says! This could be playing a game, or going to get a drink, or going to the zoo or amusement park. Laughing together can inject much-needed life into a stale marriage. Women don't rank "sense of humor" high on their list for no reason. It's not just important in dating... it's important in marriage! You should enjoy each other and be able to make each other laugh. The couple that laughs together... lasts.
5. Don't try to change each other... at least, not the big stuff. Part of marriage is that you are better with the person than without them. If you are worse with them, you are in the wrong marriage. You should never try to change the person that your spouse is... and you shouldn't expect that you can. If your spouse is an introvert, they will probably always be an introvert. You might be able to expand their horizons a bit, but they will never be a social butterfly. If you want a social butterfly, then marry one. Don't try to turn your spouse into something they aren't. This is not to say that you shouldn't try to make each other better people or that you shouldn't try to make adjustments to make your spouse happy. If your spouse continually drives you nuts with their smacking when they eat, by all means, tell them that it bothers you and you would appreciate it if they would try to stop doing that. And, spouse, you should try to change that small behavior to satisfy your spouse. Some adjustments in marriage are necessary - it's called compromise. Small compromises are totally worth it, and it is not unreasonable to change certain behaviors for your spouse or to expect them to do the same. But, choose your battles wisely. And, meet in the middle. Don't expect one spouse to do all the changing or compromising. It goes both ways... just like communication!
Go forth into your marriages armed with this knowledge, my friends, and you shall know success. (Or at least six years of it...)
1. You have to work to make your marriage work. No, I don't mean you have to have a job. I have nothing against housewives/husbands (is that a PC term anymore? I don't feel like I can call it anything without offending someone). I mean, you have to put work into your marriage to make it work. I think the divorce rate can be explained by a lot of things, but I would imagine that one of the biggest misconceptions that leads to divorce is that marriage is supposed to be easy. I think a lot of people figure that if you are in the right marriage, it will be easy. You shouldn't have to work at something that is right... right? Wrong. A good marriage takes work. Isn't there some cliche about how nothing worth having is ever easy? Marriage is no exception. Having to work at your marriage doesn't mean your marriage is bad... it means it's normal! When you hit a bump in the road - and yes, there will be many of these - you don't just give up because things got hard. You work to fix it and move forward, learning all you can from the bump. Sometimes it's hard... really hard. You might yell at each other and say hurtful things. You might be so angry at your spouse that you can't stand to be in the same room. You might wonder why you married this person. And, guess what? None of that means your marriage is doomed. It means... you guessed it... it's normal! I once read an article discussing how it's normal to second guess your decision to marry your spouse... and often. Only in Nicholas Sparks novels do people feel 100% sure of their choice of significant other at all times. It's only natural to wonder about a decision you made that affects the rest of your life. The important thing isn't second-guessing yourself... it's the reaffirmation to yourself that you chose this person for a reason, and that you are committed to making it work. You owe it to yourself and to your spouse to reassess every so often and really look at whether you are committed to your marriage and to this person. If you aren't willing to work on it, it's not a marriage you should be in. Period.
2. You need your own life. Maybe this is my own need for independence skewing my opinion, but I think one of the most important things in a marriage is to have things that are separate from your couple-dom. Is it great to do things together? Sure it is. But, when you are doing everything together and can't function as individuals, there's a problem. I have perhaps unconventional views of love... like, I don't believe in "the one" or "soulmates" or whatever. I believe in good timing. But, my number one philosophy on love can be summarized as follows: "Love isn't needing someone. It's not needing them, but wanting them around anyway." I feel like you need to be secure in your individuality and self-sufficiency before you can be in a truly healthy relationship. Something about extreme co-dependency just creeps me out. I love spending time with my husband, but I also really enjoy weekends apart and just having time to myself. My favorite thing about having a house vs. our old one-bedroom places, is that now we can be in separate rooms if we want! Steve and I sometimes take trips without each other, go out with friends separately, and are even involved in separate activities/hobbies. It's nice to have your own life! We aren't forever attached at the hip, aren't always one social unit. We have our own lives, and we enjoy them. Then, when we do things together, it feels more like a choice than an obligation.
3. Talk to each other. No, really, talk to each other. I think both sides are guilty of this one. Women are often passive-aggressive, and men are notoriously bad at communicating. Guess what? If you never tell your husband that it makes you angry when he doesn't put his dishes in the dishwasher, he will never do it. If you never tell your wife that you feel like she is taking her day out on you unfairly, she will never stop. It's as simple as that: if you don't communicate with your spouse, you can't get the results you desire. Which leads to frustration, dissatisfaction, and ultimately lands you in a position where the marriage seems irreparable. All of those little issues can build up into a load of resentment and ruin a perfectly good marriage. I think Steve and I do a good job of trying to tell each other how we feel and what we want, and the other tries to respond accordingly. You might create some friction at first, but having a little fight now is worth avoiding a lifetime of disappointment. Don't just accept that something will always "just be this way." It might not if you actually told your spouse and discussed it constructively to reach a solution. I think the real problem is that people just complain to their spouses about things and don't make a real effort to solve the problem. Or maybe they don't even really want to solve the problem. When you decide to bring an issue up, you should have a slate of solutions already brewing in your brain. Communication isn't complaining... it's discussing. That means it goes both ways and should have a constructive end of some kind. As an additional, related thought... don't complain to your friends about something your spouse does if you have not tried to address the behavior with your spouse. That just not fair, people. Give em a shot!
4. Have fun together. This one doesn't need much discussion. Just do what it says! This could be playing a game, or going to get a drink, or going to the zoo or amusement park. Laughing together can inject much-needed life into a stale marriage. Women don't rank "sense of humor" high on their list for no reason. It's not just important in dating... it's important in marriage! You should enjoy each other and be able to make each other laugh. The couple that laughs together... lasts.
5. Don't try to change each other... at least, not the big stuff. Part of marriage is that you are better with the person than without them. If you are worse with them, you are in the wrong marriage. You should never try to change the person that your spouse is... and you shouldn't expect that you can. If your spouse is an introvert, they will probably always be an introvert. You might be able to expand their horizons a bit, but they will never be a social butterfly. If you want a social butterfly, then marry one. Don't try to turn your spouse into something they aren't. This is not to say that you shouldn't try to make each other better people or that you shouldn't try to make adjustments to make your spouse happy. If your spouse continually drives you nuts with their smacking when they eat, by all means, tell them that it bothers you and you would appreciate it if they would try to stop doing that. And, spouse, you should try to change that small behavior to satisfy your spouse. Some adjustments in marriage are necessary - it's called compromise. Small compromises are totally worth it, and it is not unreasonable to change certain behaviors for your spouse or to expect them to do the same. But, choose your battles wisely. And, meet in the middle. Don't expect one spouse to do all the changing or compromising. It goes both ways... just like communication!
Go forth into your marriages armed with this knowledge, my friends, and you shall know success. (Or at least six years of it...)
Monday, June 25, 2012
Not Faster.
I feel like, in today's world, we are obsessed with making things faster. Shortcuts. Time savers. Anything to add a few more minutes to our days. In this pursuit, people change their behaviors and create inventions to make their lives easier and save that most precious commodity -- time. But, I have found that many of the things that are supposed to be "faster" actually... aren't. This amuses me, so I thought I would make a list. Who would have thought?
Things that are supposed to be faster... but aren't:
1. Drive-thrus. Supposedly, people drive through a restaurant because they don't actually have time to get out of their car and walk the 20 feet across the parking lot to order in person. But, oftentimes, people end up waiting in the drive-thru lane far longer than they would have waited inside. I understand that some people just don't want to unload their kids or whatever, but, let's face it... most people are just lazy and don't want to get out of their cars when they could have someone just hand them their orders right in the comfort of their car. I particularly enjoy the Starbucks drive-thru on the way to work. The line is all the way out into the street and blocks the parking lot. So, I will park across the street and still emerge far before when I would have gotten through the line in the drive-thru. I always feel this smug sense of satisfaction and feel like I somehow cheated the system by being faster than the drive-thru. Then, I feel better than all of the suckers sitting in their cars watching me walk back to my car with my delicious beverage. I have found that the drive-thru only comes in handy when it's freezing cold outside. It might not save time, but at least it saves warmth.
2. Backing into parking spaces. Ok, this is another car one. If you are a backer-inner, I'm sorry, but I just don't get it. I see people at work back into their garage spaces, and I wonder "why?". I understand that it allows you to just pull out immediately from your space when you leave, thus saving precious seconds that might otherwise be spent in the car. But you just spent even more time than you saved trying to back and align your car into the space. So, really, you are not netting any time savings. You are probably wasting more time backing your car into the space than you are possibly saving. Especially in my parking garage. It's not a huge garage. You aren't going to have a rush of people at 5:00 gunning for the exit and blocking your path. You can back out. It's not hard. My mom explained that people don't want to waste any time getting home from work... but don't mind wasting time getting to work. Guess that makes sense in a way. But, still not an actual time saver.
3. Self check out. First, old people should not be allowed to use self check out. Neither should children. Nor obnoxious people with 30 items when the sign clearly says 20 or less. Even with 20 items, I would venture a guess that self check out will not save you any time. Self check out allows you to speed past the long grocery lines and check yourself out. Doing things yourself saves time, right? Avoiding those lines is worth it, right? Wrong. Most of the time. I've noticed that when the regular lines are long, the self check out line is just as long. And, people are slower. Checkers check people out for a living. That is what they do. They are check out experts, so to speak. Have you seen how fast they can type in those produce codes? The cans whiz by the scanner with astonishing speed. Now, have you seen people checking themselves out? The attendant is coming over and showing them how to type in the produce code. They are coming over to check their IDs. They are voiding a double scan. People are struggling with the concept of "bagging" vs. "skipping the bag". You see them put an item in the bag, then take it out, then back in... trying to figure out how to beat the machine. Then, of course, are the people with a shopping cart full of items. There are times when self check out saves time, and a full cart is not one of them. Do you seriously believe you can scan those items faster than the check out person? No friggin way. When is self check out worth it? When you have less than 10 items, none of them are alcohol or weight-valued produce items, and you actually know how to work the dang machine. If you don't know how to work it, don't pick a busy Saturday afternoon as the time to start. For your own bodily safety and my mental health... please just... don't.
4. Barcode apps on the iPhone. I don't know what they're called. I don't have an iPhone. I just always see people scanning their phones instead of using a credit card, and I have only seen this transaction operate smoothly once. Most of the time it takes a few scans, or the person doesn't get their little app up ahead of time... so it ends up saving no time over swiping a credit card. My favorite is watching the person try to scan their phone... then after failing, the counter worker takes it and tries. In the time it takes to scan the dang phone, you could have swiped their card, my card, and the person's behind me. And, then I'm a grumpy bear. Because, like I said before... we all value our precious time. Go, go, go! Actually, I feel like a lot of apps are wastes of time... but, man, do people love a gimmick! But, that's a blog for another time...
5. Calculators... for simple math. When it comes to simple math, calculators are a huge waste of time. Unless you can speed type, or just don't know math, I suppose. This makes me feel old... but "kids these days" rely way too much on calculators! I don't know how many times I have been with someone and, when faced with a simple math question, they whip out their smartphone to type in the numbers. I say the answer before they are done, and they are like "how did you know that so fast?" Well, you see, I used my brain, which is faster than your stupid smartphone. Smartbrain > smartphone. God forbid we exert ourselves to use our brains! Seriously? You just used your phone to calculate 20% of $25.00? Something like that takes even longer because inevitably you have to know that 20% is actually .20. Adds a whole other layer to the thing. And, if you are adding 2 numbers under 50 on your smartphone, I feel like I should unfriend you on principle. It's a little ridiculous... I'm just saying. I'm sorry if you are just genuinely awful at math and can't do simple math in your head. I'm sure you are much better than me at drawing... or sewing... or physics... or some other activity that I do particularly crappily. Actually, I guess if you were bad at math, you would probably also be bad at physics. Sorry.
Things that are supposed to be faster... but aren't:
1. Drive-thrus. Supposedly, people drive through a restaurant because they don't actually have time to get out of their car and walk the 20 feet across the parking lot to order in person. But, oftentimes, people end up waiting in the drive-thru lane far longer than they would have waited inside. I understand that some people just don't want to unload their kids or whatever, but, let's face it... most people are just lazy and don't want to get out of their cars when they could have someone just hand them their orders right in the comfort of their car. I particularly enjoy the Starbucks drive-thru on the way to work. The line is all the way out into the street and blocks the parking lot. So, I will park across the street and still emerge far before when I would have gotten through the line in the drive-thru. I always feel this smug sense of satisfaction and feel like I somehow cheated the system by being faster than the drive-thru. Then, I feel better than all of the suckers sitting in their cars watching me walk back to my car with my delicious beverage. I have found that the drive-thru only comes in handy when it's freezing cold outside. It might not save time, but at least it saves warmth.
 |
| Don't do it! It's a trap! |
2. Backing into parking spaces. Ok, this is another car one. If you are a backer-inner, I'm sorry, but I just don't get it. I see people at work back into their garage spaces, and I wonder "why?". I understand that it allows you to just pull out immediately from your space when you leave, thus saving precious seconds that might otherwise be spent in the car. But you just spent even more time than you saved trying to back and align your car into the space. So, really, you are not netting any time savings. You are probably wasting more time backing your car into the space than you are possibly saving. Especially in my parking garage. It's not a huge garage. You aren't going to have a rush of people at 5:00 gunning for the exit and blocking your path. You can back out. It's not hard. My mom explained that people don't want to waste any time getting home from work... but don't mind wasting time getting to work. Guess that makes sense in a way. But, still not an actual time saver.
 |
| Just... no. |
3. Self check out. First, old people should not be allowed to use self check out. Neither should children. Nor obnoxious people with 30 items when the sign clearly says 20 or less. Even with 20 items, I would venture a guess that self check out will not save you any time. Self check out allows you to speed past the long grocery lines and check yourself out. Doing things yourself saves time, right? Avoiding those lines is worth it, right? Wrong. Most of the time. I've noticed that when the regular lines are long, the self check out line is just as long. And, people are slower. Checkers check people out for a living. That is what they do. They are check out experts, so to speak. Have you seen how fast they can type in those produce codes? The cans whiz by the scanner with astonishing speed. Now, have you seen people checking themselves out? The attendant is coming over and showing them how to type in the produce code. They are coming over to check their IDs. They are voiding a double scan. People are struggling with the concept of "bagging" vs. "skipping the bag". You see them put an item in the bag, then take it out, then back in... trying to figure out how to beat the machine. Then, of course, are the people with a shopping cart full of items. There are times when self check out saves time, and a full cart is not one of them. Do you seriously believe you can scan those items faster than the check out person? No friggin way. When is self check out worth it? When you have less than 10 items, none of them are alcohol or weight-valued produce items, and you actually know how to work the dang machine. If you don't know how to work it, don't pick a busy Saturday afternoon as the time to start. For your own bodily safety and my mental health... please just... don't.
 |
| If you drive slower than I walk, you are not allowed to use the self check out. |
4. Barcode apps on the iPhone. I don't know what they're called. I don't have an iPhone. I just always see people scanning their phones instead of using a credit card, and I have only seen this transaction operate smoothly once. Most of the time it takes a few scans, or the person doesn't get their little app up ahead of time... so it ends up saving no time over swiping a credit card. My favorite is watching the person try to scan their phone... then after failing, the counter worker takes it and tries. In the time it takes to scan the dang phone, you could have swiped their card, my card, and the person's behind me. And, then I'm a grumpy bear. Because, like I said before... we all value our precious time. Go, go, go! Actually, I feel like a lot of apps are wastes of time... but, man, do people love a gimmick! But, that's a blog for another time...
 |
| There is just something unsettling about this to me. The machines are plotting their uprising. |
5. Calculators... for simple math. When it comes to simple math, calculators are a huge waste of time. Unless you can speed type, or just don't know math, I suppose. This makes me feel old... but "kids these days" rely way too much on calculators! I don't know how many times I have been with someone and, when faced with a simple math question, they whip out their smartphone to type in the numbers. I say the answer before they are done, and they are like "how did you know that so fast?" Well, you see, I used my brain, which is faster than your stupid smartphone. Smartbrain > smartphone. God forbid we exert ourselves to use our brains! Seriously? You just used your phone to calculate 20% of $25.00? Something like that takes even longer because inevitably you have to know that 20% is actually .20. Adds a whole other layer to the thing. And, if you are adding 2 numbers under 50 on your smartphone, I feel like I should unfriend you on principle. It's a little ridiculous... I'm just saying. I'm sorry if you are just genuinely awful at math and can't do simple math in your head. I'm sure you are much better than me at drawing... or sewing... or physics... or some other activity that I do particularly crappily. Actually, I guess if you were bad at math, you would probably also be bad at physics. Sorry.
 |
| Unfriended. |
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
Amazing Domestic Goddess Extraordinaire
Tonight, I got home from work at 6:15. Then, I went to the grocery store with a list. And, this list included more than just frozen dinners... it was based on recipes for multiple meals. I know, I'm in shock, too. Read on. When I got home, I actually made dinner. Yes, in shock again. Baked falafel with cucumbers from my mom's garden and homemade tahini sauce... and bacon-wrapped dates. After I ate dinner, I made a kale zucchini quiche. This, alone, is pretty impressive for a weeknight in my house. But, while that was baking, I made sesame noodles with napa cabbage... so I could have homemade lunches for the week. Pick up your jaw...if you can. After the quiche was done, I baked zucchini raisin muffins from scratch. And, they are AWESOME. That's right, I'm an amazing domestic goddess extraordinaire. I didn't even watch any TV tonight. Or play on the internet (until now...). If you know me, your head is probably exploding right about now.
Though, I didn't wash my dishes... so... at least I know an alien hasn't taken over my body. In general, I am pretty lazy and domestically challenged. Don't get me wrong... I am a pretty good cook and an awesome baker. I just have problems motivating myself to do anything when I get home from work. I admit that I am an awful housekeeper and gardener. I don't even try to pretend that I am good at those things. Usually, my evening consists of coming home from work between 6 and 6:30... eating some kind of frozen or fast dinner... and watching TV and messing around on my computer for hours on end. If dishes even get taken from the basement (where we inevitably eat every night) to the kitchen, it's an accomplishment.
I always have grand ideas about what my evenings will be like. "I will get home, make a delicious, healthy, well-balanced meal, do two loads of laundry, do the dishes, organize my closet, weed the flower beds, and do the work that I brought home." Then, I get home. And, none of that happens. Ever.
But, every once in a while, an anomaly occurs. Like tonight. Iblame credit my ADD. Ok, so, I've never been "diagnosed" with ADD, but I totally have it. Ask my husband. He knows all about it. The other day, we were in the car, and I was yakking and being my normal self... and he was like "Ok, how did you just go through 4 unrelated topics and end up singing a random song, all within 30 seconds?" Yeah, that's me! Anyway, so, most of the time, I cannot bring myself to start or finish tasks, even when I make a plan. It all goes to heck once I actually try to do it. I start with the best intentions, but never see many results. I think of something I'd rather be doing... and I go do that instead. Like, the other day when I was doing some work at home... I randomly thought, Hmm, I wonder where my achievement certificates from law school are. So, off I went to search for them for 30 minutes. Then, inevitably, it led to other random things and I never got back to the work. Organization and foresight are not my friends. I'd like them to be, but they are kind of like the people whose names I can't remember... which is awkward, so I avoid them. Ok, so how did this lead to my domestic divinity tonight? Well, you see... along with the disorganization of ADD comes this wonderful thing called hyperfocus. Yes, this is real. When I'm doing something that I'm really interested in, I can do it for a long time without realizing how much time has gone by. So, tonight, I cooked for over 3 hours straight. Usually this hyperfocus is wasted on the internet, romance novels, or something equally useless. But, every once in a while, I can direct my focus on something useful. Problem is, I am not often interested in useful activities! Who is?
Oh... probably successful people...
Though, I didn't wash my dishes... so... at least I know an alien hasn't taken over my body. In general, I am pretty lazy and domestically challenged. Don't get me wrong... I am a pretty good cook and an awesome baker. I just have problems motivating myself to do anything when I get home from work. I admit that I am an awful housekeeper and gardener. I don't even try to pretend that I am good at those things. Usually, my evening consists of coming home from work between 6 and 6:30... eating some kind of frozen or fast dinner... and watching TV and messing around on my computer for hours on end. If dishes even get taken from the basement (where we inevitably eat every night) to the kitchen, it's an accomplishment.
I always have grand ideas about what my evenings will be like. "I will get home, make a delicious, healthy, well-balanced meal, do two loads of laundry, do the dishes, organize my closet, weed the flower beds, and do the work that I brought home." Then, I get home. And, none of that happens. Ever.
But, every once in a while, an anomaly occurs. Like tonight. I
Oh... probably successful people...
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Summer Brain.
Summer brain. I don't know what you call it, but I call it "summer brain." You know, when you start getting restless at work somewhere around early May. Your productivity slows to a halt. You can't focus... your brain shuts down. You find yourself staring out your window, wishing you could go enjoy the warmth of the day. The sun is shining, the grass is green... and you're sure the birds are chirping, though you can't hear them because your window doesn't open. You look at people outside and shoot them death stares. You begin to hate children because they get a summer break. Summer. What is summer to the working world? Depression and distraction. That is summer brain.
Why do we get summer brain? I blame the school system. I went to school for twenty years. For twenty years, I got summers off... at least to some extent. You went to school for 9 months, then you got 3 months "off." That's how it worked. And, then, you graduated, and somehow you were expected to just magically come up with three extra months of brain activity that never existed before. Plus, you are expected to be able to put in those extra months during three months that you least want to spend inside.
Why can't schools have "winter break" instead of "summer break"? No one cares about being penned up inside during December. Plus, all the holidays are in the winter: Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's... Veteran's Day, Martin Luther King Day, President's Day... Valentine's Day, Groundhog Day. What does summer have? Independence Day. Much easier to work school around one holiday than, like, ten. And, don't forget... people are already depressed during the winter! You are barely making an impact by taking away a winter break once the children become adults. You aren't ruining the fantastic summer that they could be having. You are simply making them clean their cars of snow a few extra days. "Losing" winter is much less traumatic than "losing" summer. You can't miss something you never had, right?
I'm sure school breaks were positioned in the summer for lots of good, old-timey reasons. Like, the young'uns had to be home to help on the farm during the growing season. Or, it was just too dadgum hot to stick a bunch of kids in a room and expect them to behave. Fact is, those old-timey reasons just don't stand up anymore. Get with the times, people! Summer break is no longer the only way to go.
I advocate that we start "winter break." Sure, a bunch of kids will hate it at first. But, eventually they will forget that summer break ever existed, and they will all be saved a load of grief and depression as adults. And, they would thank us for it.
Together, we can put an end to "summer brain."
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
I Am Not a Runner.
I am not a runner. I have short legs. I'm uncoordinated. I'm lazy. All of these things have led me to generally avoid running for the vast majority of my life. I never did track... I never ran for "fun" (whatever that is) or for exercise. The only time I ran was laps at volleyball practices. And, I even hated it then. It was by far the thing I most dreaded about practice every day.
I have often said that I hate running. Hate it. I could not understand why anyone would do it if they didn't have to. Despite my hatred of running, a few years ago, I got it into my head that I should start running. Mostly because I couldn't afford a gym, and I had a few months free after my first year of law school. And I may have gained 15 pounds the first year of law school... and marriage. So, I convinced myself that I would run around the neighborhood. Since I am a nerd, I researched running thoroughly to make myself a plan... and so I wouldn't look like an idiot. I had about a billion things I worried about. How do you breathe when you run? Nose or mouth? Deep or shallow? What about stride? Long stride or short stride? Where should my foot land? Should I run on the road or the sidewalk? What side of the road do I run on? On and on.
When I felt sufficiently versed in the sport of running, I bought myself a pair of running shoes, and I made my plan. I decided I would try a walk/run approach. Problem was, I had no idea how far I could run already. Ok, had to assess my ability. So, I took off on the first day at a leisurely jog to see how far I could go before I needed to stop. Hmm. Two blocks. Perhaps I was a little more out of shape than I had thought. Walked two blocks... ran two blocks... walked... ran. Such it continued, and I was somewhat pleased with myself when I returned 20 minutes later feeling like I was dying. I figured, runners always look like they're dying... so that was a good sign. I was becoming a runner! I kept running, a few times a week, and eventually got to where I could run 4 blocks, walk 1 block. Yeah, I know, that still sounds pathetic. Well, I thought I was awesome! I would always make sure that I would be on the "run" portions when I went by a person... so I felt cool and fit. I didn't particularly enjoy running, but the competitive spirit within me relished the idea of achieving something. Problem was... I got bored. I have a short attention span and get sick of things pretty quickly. Running wasn't advancing quite as swiftly as I had hoped... and I didn't really feel like I enjoyed it. I actually kind of dreaded going outside to run. And thus ended my very short and very sorry attempt at running. After 3 weeks.
Last summer, I once again decided that I was going to start running. I had a gym membership, and I was going to conquer the dreaded treadmill. I had never in my life stepped foot on a treadmill. I was terrified of them. With my astoundingly low level of coordination (that is a story for another blog), I could just picture my feet flying out from under me and landing face first on the tread. But, I sucked it up and started my walk/run routine once again. This time, the hubby tried with me, so at least I had someone to try to "beat," which made it a bit more appealing to me. I eventually got to where I could run an entire mile straight. Then, hubby stopped going to the gym... and without someone to compete against, running lost all joy and purpose for me. And, once again, I was done after a month or so.
In January, I made a list of New Year's resolutions. One of them was to run a race. This time, I was going to "get serious." I went and bought new running shoes at a real running store. I guess I figured that if I invested enough money in running, it would spur me to stick with it. I bought cute new running clothes. If I know anything, it's that girls are highly motivated by cute workout clothes. Then, I started back running at the gym a couple of times a week. I signed up for a 5k, and hubby signed up too. I have enough pride to make myself be prepared for something that I've committed to. So, I had that 5k looming in the future. When it got warmer outside, I overcame my completely irrational fear of running outdoors (I don't like people watching me... shut up!). I started running around my neighborhood... zigzagging through the streets, so I would never be too far away from home, you know, in case I got tired and decided to be done with my run.
Well, the 5k came, and I was ready to go. I got there, and it started raining. Thundering. Lightning. Pouring rain. So, yes, they canceled the 5k. I got my t-shirt and my medal, but I felt like a fraud. I had signed up for my first race... but I hadn't run it... no matter what my awesome medal said. This was it - my real test of whether I was going to stick with running this time. This was my "get out of jail free" card. I could just not sign up for another race. I could quit! But, instead, I found myself wanting to sign up for another race. I had trained for it, dang it, and I wasn't going to let it go to waste! I wanted to get my "under 30 minutes" goal. Heck, I even went to the gym the day of the canceled 5k and ran a 5k on the treadmill (despite a fire alarm going off in the middle of it and having to evacuate the building... yes, I have bad luck).
So, riding the momentum of my disappointment from the canceled 5k, I signed up for a new 5k. Then, I thought, heck, if I can do a 5k, I can do a 10k! So, now I've signed up for a 10k and am training for that. I've found, however, that I have to run farther away from my house in order to get a longer run in. If I'm close by, I will quit before I am actually done. Because I'm lazy. If I run far enough away, then I have to run back! This weekend, I actually ran about 5 miles. I still have a little trouble believing that I actually did this of my own accord and without being chased or bribed in some way. And, more troubling still... I actually enjoyed it and didn't feel like death afterward.
Is it possible? Could I actually enjoy running? I think the jury is still out on that one. I enjoy the sense of accomplishment that comes with completing a run... and I like having a goal to train toward. I know I will be proud to say I ran a 10k after it's done. But, I am not sure if it's the task that I enjoy... or the accomplishment.
And, I don't know if I can ever call myself a "runner." I am never running in the rain if I can help it, and sometimes I like to sleep instead of get up to run. And, I have no desire to ever, ever run a marathon. Actually, right now, the idea of running more than an hour is kind of nauseating.
So, no, I am not a runner. I may never describe myself as a runner. But, I am running. And, I don't hate it. Against all odds and expectations... especially my own.
Well, the 5k came, and I was ready to go. I got there, and it started raining. Thundering. Lightning. Pouring rain. So, yes, they canceled the 5k. I got my t-shirt and my medal, but I felt like a fraud. I had signed up for my first race... but I hadn't run it... no matter what my awesome medal said. This was it - my real test of whether I was going to stick with running this time. This was my "get out of jail free" card. I could just not sign up for another race. I could quit! But, instead, I found myself wanting to sign up for another race. I had trained for it, dang it, and I wasn't going to let it go to waste! I wanted to get my "under 30 minutes" goal. Heck, I even went to the gym the day of the canceled 5k and ran a 5k on the treadmill (despite a fire alarm going off in the middle of it and having to evacuate the building... yes, I have bad luck).
So, riding the momentum of my disappointment from the canceled 5k, I signed up for a new 5k. Then, I thought, heck, if I can do a 5k, I can do a 10k! So, now I've signed up for a 10k and am training for that. I've found, however, that I have to run farther away from my house in order to get a longer run in. If I'm close by, I will quit before I am actually done. Because I'm lazy. If I run far enough away, then I have to run back! This weekend, I actually ran about 5 miles. I still have a little trouble believing that I actually did this of my own accord and without being chased or bribed in some way. And, more troubling still... I actually enjoyed it and didn't feel like death afterward.
Is it possible? Could I actually enjoy running? I think the jury is still out on that one. I enjoy the sense of accomplishment that comes with completing a run... and I like having a goal to train toward. I know I will be proud to say I ran a 10k after it's done. But, I am not sure if it's the task that I enjoy... or the accomplishment.
And, I don't know if I can ever call myself a "runner." I am never running in the rain if I can help it, and sometimes I like to sleep instead of get up to run. And, I have no desire to ever, ever run a marathon. Actually, right now, the idea of running more than an hour is kind of nauseating.
So, no, I am not a runner. I may never describe myself as a runner. But, I am running. And, I don't hate it. Against all odds and expectations... especially my own.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
Amanda's Awesome Book of Grammatical Nonsensities
So, I was talking to hubby on gchat the other day, and I accused him of telling a "boldfaced lie." This is the conversation that followed. I made 2 changes to this: 1) took out hubby's username because I'm nice, and 2) took out a few words that were not so PG, again, because I'm nice. Some of the statements are a bit out of order due to response times not matching up correctly, but you can figure it out. I'm not taking the time to change that... because while I am nice, I am also lazy.
Enjoy...
Enjoy...
me: that is a boldfaced lie
lie
hubby: bald-faced is the expression
me: well that doesnt make any sense
i like mine better
was it you who kept asking me if it's "flesh" something out or "flush" it out?
1:29 PM hubby: flesh it out
me: i know that
but someone was asking me that the other day
must have been matt
i get all the men in my life mixed up
hubby: bald-faced lie derives from people with no facial hair being more honest-appearing
and could get away with lies
even obvious lies
me: thats not true. it means it's bald... as in obvious
like naked
hubby: compares to scoundrel's with moustaches
me: i made up my description
hubby: i know
me: or, better yet...
1:30 PM it's brazen and bold
hubby: mine comes from etymological study
me: and shows on your face
thus, bold faced
hubby: again, not even close
me: or... like it's in bold
like... WOW, what a lie!
hubby: your descriptions are a bald-faced lie
me: i don't recognize that spelling
it's like your words don't exist to me
hubby: not my fault your intellegence and knowledge pale in comparison to mine
1:31 PM me: intelligence
hubby: typo
ass
me: mensa reject
mensa would totally take me
i have a 149 iq
hubby: again, bald-faced lie
me: totally not
im sure i have the records somewhere
hubby: well i maxed out the iq test i took
1:32 PM me: you are just jealous of my genius
hubby: so all they know is i'm above a 145
but not sure how much
me: thats a huge lie
lie
hubby: nope
me: that kind
hubby: ask my parents
me: boldfaced
your parents also say you read at 2
hubby: quit trying to make that stick
it's not a thing
me: obviously you manipulate the system
hubby: bald-faced lie is correct
me: nope. not saying it.
it sounds ridiculous
bald faced
1:33 PM hubby: nevertheless, it is correct
"i'm sorry your honor, but that sounds ridiculous"
"ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my opposing counsel's story is ridiculous"
1:34 PM don't even pretend like you could get away with that
saying you could is a bald-faced lie
me: in a court of equity i could
because they can do whatever they want
or in jeffco
hubby: i'm getting lunch
bye
me: i win.
1:35 PM hubby: no
you're still wrong
you don't win if you're wrong
me: wrong.
bye
me: i'm a lawyer. i win when i'm right AND when i'm wrong
1:36 PM hubby: barefaced lie is also acceptable
looks like boldfaced is also acceptable (HA! -Commentary by Amanda...)
1:38 PM but stupid
me: nope, much more acceptable
go to lunch nerdfest
hubby: baldfaced is best
boldfaced "sounds like a printer error"
HA
both invented by my dear friend, Willy the Shakes
1:40 PM me: he isnt' real
hubby: i ran a marathon this morning = baldfaced lie
me: but i am glad i am right
baldeagled lie
1:41 PM that sounds better
hubby: i just ate the ribeyes is a boldfaced lie
me: spreadeagled lie
hubby: there's just too few contexts in which that is correct
that's a completely different kind of thing
me: no, its a lie that is waiting there ready
hubby: "those red bumps are normal" is a spreadeagled lie
1:42 PM me: i feel like a grammar book could be based on our conversation
an awesome grammar book
amanda's awesome book of grammatical nonsensities
hubby: could be a new regular on your blog
1:43 PM me: go eat lunch
hubby: bye
bye
that was a boldfaced bye
HAHAHA
I'M HILARIOUS
me: you aren't even funny a little bit
1:44 PM hubby: you're right. I'm funny the whole bit
me: did you know that an upside down question mark is a sarcasm indicator?
hubby: and for you to suggest otherwise is a baldfaced lie
i think justin and i created that in con law 2
me: no, it really exists
outside of your imaginations
1:45 PM hubby: i'm hungry
stop talking
i'm goin
see you tonight
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