We Love Lucy

I was just sitting here in my living room, staring at my blog home screen, trying to decide on a topic for a new post.  As I was thinking, I looked over my laptop screen and saw my cat Lucy stalking something.  I got up to investigate, and sure enough, it was a bug.  The bug has now retreated under the coat closet door, and Lucy is sitting patiently by the door watching for its return.  She is ready for attack if it should chance to venture outside of its safe shelter.  Lying in wait.

What does this random occurrence have to do with my blog post?  Well, Lucy has inspired me to write about... Lucy!  My cat is the closest thing I have to a child, and people love to talk about their kids, right?  So, this blog post will be all about getting to know my "baby"... Lucy the cat.  Enjoy.

Blogosphere:  Meet Lucy.

1.  Lucy's real name is Lucifer.  Yes, I am a cruel pet parent.  But, she was an evil kitten, and she deserved it.  When I got Lucy, she was wild and flea-ridden... and pure evil.  Her cuteness was her only redeeming characteristic.  Lucy was the progeny of someone's barn cat, and I saved her from certain imminent death, so she should have been worshiping at my feet, thanking me for my generosity.  Instead, she gave me fleas, hid in the back of the washing machine and refused to come out, then scratched the living daylights out of me if I tried to touch her or hold her (or apply her flea medicine)... not to mention the hissing and growling.  It's amazing that such a little thing can make so much noise.  After enduring days of torture at her paws, I bestowed upon her the name Lucifer.  But, being the magnanimous human being that I am, I shortened it to Lucy, since Lucifer is obviously a boy cat's name.  She is much nicer now... at least to me and the hubby.  She hates basically every other person and will hiss or take a swipe at them.  Like a good guard-cat should.

Her glowing eyes of death.  Fear them.

2.  Lucy is fat.  Think... Garfield.  Though, at least Garfield had lasagna as an excuse.  Lucy is just fat.  We don't overfeed her, and she even eats the healthy cat food.  She is pretty lazy, but all cats are lazy.  I don't know why she's so fat, but she is probably a good 12 pounds.  I haven't weighed her in a while, mostly because I am in denial of her sheer massiveness.  People comment that she's a large cat, and every once in a while... I really see it.  When she lies on her back, she looks pretty rotund.  I'd post a picture, but the camera adds 10 pounds, and I don't want to embarrass poor Lucy like that.  Oh wait, yes I do.

Probably a good representation of her girth.  I love that Steve is drinking, and the Bluebook is on the couch next to him.  Life of a law student.

3.  Lucy enjoys rabbits... and birds... and bugs.  We have an abundance of rabbits in our backyard, and Lucy loves to sit in the window and watch them hop about.  They drive her nuts.  She stalks them back and forth across the windowsills.  All of the hopping drives her mad.  Then, there are the birds.  We have this tall grass plant thing in front of our house, and birds like to perch on it and eat its seeds.  The plant goes up to the second story (yes, it's huge), and Lucy will sit there and watch those birds forever.  She has never been outside, but I think she enjoys stalking the prey from inside... as she has no front claws and would never be able to actually catch anything outside.  It would be very disappointing for her, and I must protect her fragile self-esteem.  She's already fat... no need to let her know that she's a fat cat who can't hunt.  What she can hunt, however, is bugs.  She loves to hunt bugs.  She rarely catches them... because, let's face it, it's hard for a cat to catch a bug with its paw.  She will hold it down, then pick up her paw, then it creeps away again.  She will stalk bugs all over the place, pawing at them and watching intently for her chance to eat it.  She eats the bugs if she manages to catch them, which isn't often.  But, I still feel very safe with Lucy as my bug protector.  If nothing else, she alerts me to a bug's existence... which has come in handy when my most-feared house centipedes have been lurking in the dark of my bedroom.  Lucy starts freaking out, and then I know something is afoot... and without fail, she will be staring right at some fearsome bug on my wall, just waiting to crawl on me in my sleep.  And, I hate creepy crawlies.  So, thank you Lucy, my fearless bug stalker extraordinaire.

High alert!

4.  She is lazy.  Yes, as I said, all cats are lazy.  But, I think Lucy is especially lazy.  She can seriously lay in one spot for hours on end without ever twitching.  We sometimes leave the house and return hours later, and she will still be in the same exact spot as when we left.  And, if ever she goes "missing" in the house, you will undoubtedly find her lying on the bed, the couch, her cat condo, or in the "cat trap."  The "cat trap" is a shoebox that she particularly enjoys laying in, even though it is really too small for her to fit in comfortably.  She bows out the sides and takes up every inch, spilling her fur over the sides of the box.  The hubby wrote "CAT TRAP" on it.  He's so funny.  Lucy often even just lies right on the floor, usually in a ridiculous position.  My favorite is when she lies on her back and has all her feet kind of bent into the air.  She looks like a dog wanting its belly scratched, and it just looks really unnatural for a cat.  She loves to lie that way, though, and the only thing I can figure is that it's comfortable for her blubber.  The blubber can't get in the way when she lays on her back!

Cats are weird.

5.  She has a stuffed animal.  Lucy only plays with two things:  laser pointers and her stuffed otter.  Laser pointers require a human to participate, and she's smart enough to get sick of it after a while.  The otter, on the other hand, she plays with on her own.  A lot.  We call it her "weasel" because that's what it looks like, and it sounds cooler than otter.  She has had this weasel since she was a kitten.  I wanted her to sleep in her cat bed, so I put the weasel in it with her because it was the same size that she was.  She enjoyed wrestling with it and attacking it as a kitten.  Now, as an adult cat, she still enjoys basically the same things.  She carries that weasel all over the house.  You never know where you will find it.  One time we lost the weasel after visiting my parents, and I looked everywhere for it but could not find it.  I tried finding a replacement toy, but she would not play with anything else, no matter how weasel-like it was.  Months later, we went back to my parents', and Lucy ran and found the weasel first thing.  It has never gotten lost again.  She carries it around in her mouth and makes these horrible crying noises while she has it in her mouth.  We still can't decide if she thinks it's her baby or her prey, but judging by the way she tosses it and attacks it mid-air, I hope it's prey.  She seriously whips it up in the air with her mouth, and it goes almost as high as the ceiling, and she will jump up and grab it.  It's really entertaining to watch.  She plays with it like this probably multiple times a day, and you can find it anywhere.  The stairs, the bed, the bathroom.  Sometimes it's by her food dish.  It's like a game.  Sometimes I've taken pictures of where I've found the weasel.  It entertains me to no end.

Can you see the "weasel" that she's hugging?  

6.  She sleeps on me.  Not with me.  On me.  I kind of like it, though.  I call for her at night, pat the bed with my hand, and she will come jump up with me.  I became so accustomed to it when she was smaller, it's easier for me to fall asleep if she's lying on me.  I attribute this to the fact that she weighs so much, it restrains my lungs and slows my breathing, allowing me to fall asleep faster.  Perhaps that's an exaggeration, but sleeping with 12 or 13 pounds on your chest is definitely noticeable.  She will sleep on my chest/stomach if I am lying on my back, and she sleeps on my hip/thigh if I am lying on my side.  She is quite adept at balancing, because she is wider than my thigh but manages to stay on quite well.  Even when I roll over, she sometimes maneuvers to stay on without falling off.  It's impressive.  She especially likes sleeping on me in the mornings when it's time for her food.  It's like she's saying "I am staying right here until you feed me."  Keeping in close contact to make sure I notice she's there and ready for breakfast.  Yes, I notice you, my gigantic Lucy.

This is actually her lying on Steve, but you get the idea.

7.  She likes to be in places where she is not supposed to be.  This is pretty self-explanatory.  It's one thing that convinces me that cats have analytical reasoning skills.  When she thinks of where she wants to be... she basically narrows it down to the exact places where she is not supposed to be.  Then, she goes to one of them.  I could explain all of her favorites, but I will share some photo evidence instead.

In a box + on top of the fridge = ultimate cat paradise.

"Oh, you like watching this?  Well, I like you to watch me." 

In the creepy head mug cabinet at the in-laws'. 

"Oh, you upholstered this for me to lay on.  Thank you."

I should have shut her in it.  That would teach her.

Laundry basket > dryer.

"Helping" me sort and fold clothes.  No drawer can be left open in this house.

We also can't own real plants.  To Lucy, they are all delicious snacks.

Well, that was a little look into the life of our "little wiener," as I like to call her.  Shut up, it's adorable when I say it.

I don't want any more of this "springing forward."

One of my favorite stories about my grandma was an occurrence at the bank when my dad took her to look at her accounts.  My grandmother suffered from Alzheimer's, which was obviously very sad, but it also produced many moments of lighthearted humor.  My grandma was constantly asking people to take her to the bank to see her accounts, as she was convinced that people were taking her money.  So, my dad finally took her, and he had the cashier show her the statements.  My grandma looked at the ledger and saw "credits" in one column and "debits" in the other, and she asked what "debit" meant.  She was told that a "debit" was when money went out of your account.  In all seriousness, my grandma replied, "Well, I don't want any more of these debits, then.  Only credits."

And, that's how I feel about "springing forward."  I don't want any more of this "springing forward."  Only "falling back."  That's right... I'm talking about good old daylight saving time.  And by "good," of course, I mean "awful."  Seriously, who invented this monstrosity?  Probably the same person who invented leap day.  Though, at least leap day causes minimal disruption in our lives.  And, it only comes once every four years, so people have learned to embrace it as sort of a novelty that is enjoyable because of its quirkiness.  Like a comet or an eclipse.

Daylight saving time, on the other hand, screws us up twice a year.  It's never a set day, so no one really remembers it's happening.  It just creeps up on you, and it always seems like a surprise.  Somehow, you forget that daylight saving time even exists... until it's time to change the clocks.  And every year, you curse daylight saving time in the spring, and relish it in the fall.

It's like, in the fall, you are oblivious to the fact that the wonderfulness of "falling back" has to be balanced, eventually, by "springing forward."  But, when you fall back, you aren't thinking that far ahead.  You are thinking, I get to sleep an extra hour.  And, that's exactly what it is:  ONE extra hour.  Because, the next night, you force yourself to stay awake and adjust your sleeping schedule to go to bed an hour later (at your normal "time").  Then, you are still sleeping the exact same amount, only shifted.  I can say that, in all honesty, I have never woken up an hour early when we get the extra hour.  My body sleeps that extra hour without fail.  It doesn't want to get up at my normal time... it enjoys that little bit extra.

Springing forward, however, you lose an hour of sleep.  And if you think far enough ahead to go to bed an hour early to compensate, I dislike you on principle alone.  Who plans things like that?  Undoubtedly, most averagely-organized people, like me, lose an hour of sleep.  And, losing one hour of sleep, unlike gaining an hour of sleep, does not just affect one night.  It affects your sleep schedule for weeks on end.  You still aren't tired until your "normal" bedtime, which is now an hour later than it was before.  And, you are now having to wake up an hour earlier than before.  So, it's really like losing 2 hours of sleep for a while.  So you are grouchy, tired, and basically a zombie for weeks before you adjust.  It's not only adjusting to getting up earlier, it's adjusting to going to bed earlier, too.  You know how hard it is to make yourself go to sleep an hour early?  Have you ever tried putting a kid to bed an hour early?  "Oh, your bedtime is at 8?  Well, you are going to bed at 7 tonight!"  Yeah, it's that hard.

I think the worst part of daylight saving time is that I always have grand plans for my extra hour in the fall.  When "fall back" time comes around, I think to myself, "Oh, well, I'm used to getting up at 7... now I can wake up at 6 with no problem!  I will use that extra hour to go to the gym, or run, or write my fake novel... or, gasp, watch the news and eat breakfast at home instead of at my desk at work."  All of these ideas run rampant in my head at the idea of being "given" an extra hour.  Guess how often I've actually followed through on these ideas?  Yeah, that's a big goose egg.  I'm still eating breakfast at my desk.  I set my alarm an hour earlier than "normal," and my body sees that number, and it is not having it.  Five snoozes later, I'm up at my normal time... vowing that tomorrow I will get up the hour early.  Then, I continue setting my alarm for the hour early, and continue pushing snooze five times... and this continues indefinitely.

And, now, I'm stuck in a cycle of setting my alarm an hour early and hitting snooze five times before I get up.  Which poses a problem... because if I now set my alarm to normal time, who knows when I would wake up?  My body robo-snoozes five times every morning.  I'd have to move my alarm clear across the room to make myself get up at this point.  And, I can't do that... because I can't see across the room without my contacts.  So, not being able to see the numbers would inevitably lead to me waking up in a panic at some ungodly hour every morning, freaking out that it's way later than it is and that I've missed my alarm.  I know; I've done this many times.  You'd think that "springing forward" might negate the forward shift in alarm time somehow, but I'm pretty sure my body is too stupid to figure that one out.  My mind might even be too stupid to figure it out.  I'm seriously sitting here writing out the different time changes and alarm times to see what matches up with what.  And confusing myself.

I blame the time change...

Downton Abbey: It's not just a show. It's a sickness.

I think I might be obsessed with Downton Abbey.

A couple of months ago, I read an entertainment news article that talked about this "sleeper hit" Downton Abbey.  I had never heard of the show, but upon seeing the words "period drama," I was convinced that I must watch it.  I quickly watched the entire first and second seasons online.  I might add that, at this point, the second season hadn't even premiered in the US yet.

Then, I started watching the repeats of the 1st season that were airing on PBS.

Then, the 2nd season premiered on PBS... and I continued watching it weekly, as well.

After watching an episode on TV, which I had already seen online, I would then go and rewatch my favorite parts online again.

I got sick of fastforwarding through the boring bits, so I started watching fanvids on YouTube.

Still wasn't enough Downton Abbey.  I started looking at IMDB and Wikipedia pages...pictures...and maps.

I am now a walking Downton encyclopedia.  I have seen every episode 3 times or more, have looked at all pictures of all cast members, all Wikipedia and IMDB pages possible, and yes, have even resorted to studying maps of England.  Does it matter where Downton is?  Of course not - it's not a real place.  Though, I have read articles about the estate where it's filmed... I'm not well. 

Oh, and I'm about ready to print out these paper dolls to play with:  http://www.vulture.com/2012/02/print-out-vultures-downton-abbey-paper-dolls.html.  I'm telling you... it's a sickness.

Now, this week was the "finale" of Season 2 on PBS.  I'm kind of in a state of shock.  I don't think it's completely set in that there will be no more Downton Abbey until Season 3 premieres in Europe.  That's at least six months away!  I keep reminding myself that at least there is a Season 3 to look forward to.  But, then I just think more about how I want to watch it right now.

I don't do well with delayed gratification.  I kind of feel like my cat when I go to feed her.  She puts her head down in her dish before I even put the scoop of food in.  If she does not have food deposited immediately, she will try to start eating out of the big container of cat food (bad kitty!).  It has earned her many lectures on delayed gratification and has caused me to engage in countless experiments to determine a way to get the food into her dish without her putting her head in there right away.

Maybe I'm a hypocrite, lecturing my cat on delayed gratification (yes, I use that term when speaking to my cat), when I am hovering on the edge of a nervous breakdown over the prospect of Downton Abbey withdrawal.  I haven't felt this on-edge since I discovered True Blood and devoured the first couple of seasons, watching multiple episodes a day... until I caught up to *gasp* live TV.  Waiting a week between episodes was bad enough.  You can only imagine my dismay at having to wait almost an entire year for the next season.  Luckily, True Blood is not as good as it used to be, so I'm not as depressed about the off-season.  But, now I have Downton Abbey to obsess over!

Is it a little embarrassing that I can be this obsessed with a fictional TV show?  Perhaps.  I feel a bit like a Belieber or something... but I suppose, at least Justin Bieber is real, and 13 year old girls have an excuse as to why they are obsessed with a teenage pop star.  Though, I did put Downton Abbey star Dan Stevens on The List.  But, I figure, being addicted to Downton Abbey has to be way better than being addicted to almost any other TV show, especially reality shows.  Like, I could be addicted to Real Housewives, Teen Mom, The Bachelor, those "true life" murderer shows, Hoarders, Intervention, Toddlers & Tiaras, Jersey Shore, Dance Moms... well, you get my drift.  There are much worse things than Downton Abbey.  And, no I don't actually watch any of those shows.  Ok, maybe I sometimes watch those murderer shows, but that's educational...

"The" List.

If you have ever been in a relationship, you know what list I'm talking about.  The list.  The list of people that, if given the chance, your spouse has to allow you to "have your chance" with.  Like, if my husband had a shot with Jessica Alba, I would have to allow it.  And I say that with full confidence that he will never ever be presented with that chance.  But, if he were given the chance, I couldn't say no.  Because it is so improbable, I would have to let him take his chance.  What kind of wife would I be to crush his dreams like that?  Maybe I'm a nice wife... or maybe I just know who's on my list, too.  Wink, wink.  These lists are obviously completely meaningless because how often do my husband or I meet celebrities?  Gary Sinise was on our flight once, as was Miss-ter Muscle Beach.  Other than that, I'd say neither of us is in any danger of getting the chance to test the list.

Regardless, I am always working on my list in my head... all of these celebrities jockeying for position. One week they're up, the next they're down.  The list is ever-changing.  Sometimes we talk about our lists, but whether or not we talk about them... we know they're there.  And, right now, this is my list, in no particular order.  I really had to give this a lot of thought to narrow it down, but here goes.

1.  Armie Hammer.

Ok, I looked through about 200 pictures to find the perfect representation of the attractiveness of Armie Hammer.  Seriously, he is almost too attractive, like he's not a real person.  He is that perfect balance of pretty and masculine.  The fact that he's 6'5 doesn't hurt... nor does the fact that he comes from "old money."  He wears his hair kind of goofy, but he basically has everything else going for him.  The eyes, the jawline, the teeth, the height... he's pretty dreamy.  If you haven't heard, he is playing the Prince in one of the new Snow White films... which has to be the most perfect casting decision in history.  Right up there with Colin Firth as Mr. Darcy, and that's saying something.  Plus, his name is Armie Hammer.  That's his real name.  He was totally meant to be an object of lust for women everywhere.  Ok, I must stop staring at his overwhelming beauty and move on...

2.  Joe Manganiello

Can you see this picture?  Enough said.  As ridiculous as the show True Blood is, what I think is the most unrealistic part of the show is that Sookie hasn't chosen to be with Alcide (Joe Manganiello).  No one would pass up this hunk of a man.  Like my lover Armie, he is also 6'5... only buffer.  There is no "pretty" about him... he is all man.  I don't usually go for the beefy, brooding male, but I make an exception for Joe.  He still has an attractive face to go with the body, but the body is obviously the main event here.  I didn't post a gratuitous shot of his abs (believe me, they're great... google him).  Instead I chose a pose that relayed his raw sex appeal.  He just oozes masculinity.  Move over, Sookie... I will gladly take your cast-offs...

3.  Dan Stevens

Chances are you have no idea who this is... unless you watch the most recent period TV drama hit Downton Abbey.  I have a weakness for period dramas, and a bigger weakness for the British men in them.  Put a decent looking British man in period clothes and throw him into the fictional lap of luxury and propriety, and I can't help but swoon.  Now, admittedly, Dan Stevens is more cute than "hot," but he is so darn cute.  And, he has a British accent.  And ridiculously blue eyes.  For now, he has jockeyed into the spot on the list that used to be occupied by my other British period drama love... Colin Firth.  Yes, I am sad to admit that Colin has perhaps gotten a little too old for me.  If I could magically transform him back into Mr. Darcy of 15 years ago, now, that would be another story.  But, sorry Colin... Dan has you beat.  And, he looks pretty dashing in all his little outfits on the show... tuxes, suits, military dress.  Early 1900s apparel is much kinder to men than is 1800s.  No frilly shirts.  I predict a bright future for this one.  Powers-that-be:  please keep casting him in things that I can watch.  Thank you.

4.  The entire male cast of Vampire Diaries

It may not be the entire male cast, but it's pretty close.  Pictured above are my 8 top choices from the show. We have a mix of good guys, bad guys, vampires, werewolves, humans, the teacher, the little brother... you name it, he's hot.  I had too much trouble narrowing down my choices here, so I erred on the side of caution and threw everyone in.  Even the one I don't find particularly that attractive (Zach Roerig, upper right corner)... just for good measure.  Had to even out the rows.  Ok, I will name them all in clockwise order, starting at top left:  Ian Somerhalder, Paul Wesley, Michael Trevino, Zach Roerig, Daniel Gillies, Steven R. McQueen, Matt Davis, Joseph Morgan.  And, no I didn't have to look any of those names up, and yes, I am a teenage girl.  My husband even bought me a Vampire Diaries poster with Ian Somerhalder on it.  And, it may or may not be sitting right by my vanity where I get ready every morning.  They don't call him Ian "Smolder"halder for nothing.  That CW knows how to treat a girl to some major eye candy.  Thank you, CW and Vampire Diaries casting director.  And may I suggest more shirtless scenes for all male characters...?

5.  Chris Hemsworth

I was going to just put "the Hemsworth brothers" but decided I couldn't do another multi-man choice after my Vampire Diaries mega-pick.  So, I picked the hotter Hemsworth (and the one not dating Miley Cyrus... ew).  It is a major travesty that he was only shirtless like ONCE in the entire Thor movie.  Seriously?  Why have him buff up if you aren't going to give the women gratuitous abs?!  Oh well.  I still hold out hope for Thor 2 or the Avengers movies.  More abs, please.  I couldn't even tell you if he's been in anything besides Thor (except that short Star Trek appearance).  But, I can tell you that he looked good in Thor.  I watched it twice.  Now I kind of want to watch it again remembering how good he looked.  The movie wasn't even that good, but it held my attention, that's for sure.  I find that as I get older, I appreciate a manly man more and more (though, granted, Chris Hemsworth has a good looking mug, too).  In high school, it was the girly pretty boys... but, no more.  Must be an evolutionary progression of some kind.  I should research this... with more pictures of men.

You know how much I like round numbers... so 5 sounds like a good place to cut it off.  Though, technically speaking, it's more like 12 with all of those Vampire Diaries men.  But, really, only 11 because I just included the 8th one to balance the rows of pictures.  So, he barely counts.  Now that I think about it, however, 12 is a good round number, too.  Maybe he does count.  A dozen sounds good.  A baker's dozen sounds good, too, so perhaps I should have included that other Hemsworth brother...

Technologically Impaired.

So, I got an iPad from my boss for Christmas.  Don't get all jealous thinking about how awesome the present from my boss was compared to the present from your boss.  I'm sure you are enjoying your new paperweight immensely.  He got all of the attorneys iPads to use for "work," so it's not like I got a special gift or anything... it's a "work" gadget.  We did also get gift cards.  I got Old Navy and Sports Authority.  Score!  Seriously, though, I may have been more excited about my new gym shorts than about the iPad... which had everything nothing to do with the fact that I had no idea how to use an iPad.

At first, I was all excited for my iPad, thinking what an awesome gift it was.  I am mesmerized by anything with a touchscreen.  I had to replace my normal Nook with one with a touchscreen once it came out.  I didn't even care that it had less features than my normal Nook.  And, when my iPod got stolen last Christmas, I was happy to replace it with an iPod touch.  Incidentally, this also made me feel like I had an iPhone and was much more hip and technologically advanced than I really was.  FYI:  iPhone and iPod Touch = not the same thing.

Once I got over my initial excitement at the touchscreeny goodness, reality set in.  What was I going to do with an iPad?  I remember the phone salesman tried to sell me an iPhone, but I could not for the life of me figure out what you do with a phone besides call or text people... or sometimes check your email.  Phone = communication.  The idea of "apps" was completely foreign to me.  I have an irrational fear of new things, and learning about apps was something that seemed traumatizing to me.  No thanks.  Thus, why I never purchased the iPhone or any kind of tablet.  What would I do with it?  Well, now I was confronted with that frightening proposition.

First, I synced up my Outlook email and calendar.

Then, I got some games to play in the airport since I was going on a trip.

I looked for "productive" apps that might be useful for work.  I read all of these marvelous reviews about how people didn't know how they ever lived without said app, or how useful said app was.  So, I got the "best" productive/organizational apps I could find.  I still haven't figured out what people are using these apps for that is so great... but I keep combing through reviews looking for ideas.  Seriously, I don't know what to use technology for.  A notetaking program - sounds great!  Wait, when do I take notes?  A task organizer program - awesome!  Wait, I don't even own a day planner.  Isn't that what my Outlook calendar is for?

I tried really hard to find uses for these programs.  Part of getting the iPad was to find uses to make my job easier somehow.  I tried making a task list.  I tried using the note program.  I even got a dictation program that makes me feel like a total tool when I'm using it.  I still have no idea what people use iPads for... other than to play games and surf the internet.  What are all these apps for?!!?

TEMPLE RUN.  Now, that's what I call an app!  Who doesn't like this game?
It provides endless entertainment.  Unlike PDF annotation apps.

Maybe I'm not sufficiently immersed in technology to "get it".  I still don't know how to utilize Twitter.  What are hashtags for anyway?  It seems like people just randomly assign hashtags to things.  "My stomach hurts. #toomuchpizza #Dominos #antacidoverdose #mydogfarted."  "I am a bit tired.  #massiveunderstatement #worksucks #totallymonday #vino."  "Did you see that youtube video?  #fail #hotgirls #hanggliding #toenailsaregross."  I understand that there are certain trending topics that you can assign hashtags to... but otherwise, when you create your own hashtags, what is the point?  Is it just a clever way to reference things?  Is there a massive hashtag collective of some kind that you are contributing to?  Is someone really looking up "toomuchpizza", hoping to find your post?  Is there even more than one post with #toomuchpizza?  And, I don't understand re-tweeting or tweeting @ people.  I see something that says "@person RT @person2: RT @person 3: @person 4 hey that's cool. #cool #sandwiches #videos #salmon #obama #alaska #goldmine #hashtagoverload"  ?!?!?!?  This is what I see:

Ok, I know I'm supposed to be a part of the hi-tech generation and all, but I still kind of feel like iPads and other such devices are only popular because they are gadgets.  They make you think you need something that you really don't need... then brainwash you into thinking you can now never be without it.  And, it needs to be faster.  More apps!  More data!  More clouds!  More hashtags!  #########!  Every time I see an app and think, "when would you ever use this?"... I know that someone is using it.  I can't tell if that's sad or funny.  I know that, somewhere, there are people for whom iPads are a lifesaver... they make their lives so much simpler, and they actually need the apps for some real purpose.  As for me, this is what I've discovered:  touchscreen games are more fun than normal games, I like watching videos on my iPad vs. my laptop, and my iPad allows me to draw pictures with a stylus that I can put on my blog.

Oh, and my iPad makes me look totally cool and people ask me about it like I know things.

If they only knew...