King of the Creepy-Crawlies

Last week, I went into the unfinished part of our basement to feed the cat.  When I opened the door, I saw a huge bug dart under the laundry pile.  I, of course, proceeded to scream and frantically look for a sturdy object with which to crush the pesky intruder.  The hubby's sneaker would have to suffice.  Amidst my gagging and screams of "Ewwww!" and "It's in the laundry!", I managed to gather the courage to unveil the creature hiding within the pile of clothes.  I lifted a shirt, and before it could scurry back into the safety of the unkempt mound, I swatted it with the shoe.  It took three hefty swats to topple the giant pest, and the disgusting crunch released with the final blow made my stomach feel a bit like when you go down that first big hill on a roller coaster.

You may ask yourself, "Just what was this resilient beast of a bug?"  Readers, it is the most vile of all indoor creepy-crawlies, and my personal nemesis... the house centipede.  Anyone who has encountered one of these horrible creatures probably just gagged, shuddered, or screamed in terror at the mere mention of its name.  It is undoubtedly the ugliest, creepiest, grossest (etc.) arthropod I have ever encountered.  I say arthropod because I would venture to claim that I hate house centipedes more than any member of the arthropod phylum - and that includes scorpions, millipedes, spiders, and all insects.  Basically, think of any creepy-crawly that may lurk within the confines of your home... and I would rank house centipedes above all of them on my list of "most hated" bugs.  For those of you lucky enough to have never seen one of these things, here is a lovely picture of one, so you can identify them in the future:

Just looking at this picture is giving me anxiety, thinking about all the places in my house one could be lurking. Shudder.


To give you a visual, these demons are usually anywhere from one inch (in body length) to three inches long.  I've never seen one bigger than that, though who knows if they exist.  Their legs splay out and look like feathers from a distance.  They run extremely fast, and are often out of sight before you can grab something to smash them.  I would say they run "creepily" fast.  It doesn't seem possible for something that small to move that quickly.  Those ridiculously long legs must really carry them.  Also, though I found this one on the floor, I often find them on the wall or the ceiling.  Seeing one of these suckers scurry across your wall is not the most enjoyable experience, especially when you bat at it, and it falls on your floor/bed/couch and disappears out of sight.  Who knows where it could be lurking?!

I have also learned that cats are extremely interested in house centipedes.  My cat goes into "hunt" mode when she sees one; she reacts as if it is a bird or other equally interesting subject.  Usually it is my cat's behavior that has alerted me to a house centipede's presence.  She will chase it, stalk it, bat at it, try to climb up the wall to get it, and generally make all kinds of noises when she spots one.  More than once, I have been woken up by paws scraping the walls and crying or chirping noises from my cat, and upon seeing her eyes focused in attention on a spot on the wall/ceiling, I immediately would get a sense of dread, grab the nearest shoe/magazine, and flip on the lights, prepared for attack.  Without fail, a house centipede would be lurking in the spot on which she was so intently focused, and I would swat it (this leaves a BIG brown mark on your wall - be warned).  Knowing that these things were crawling on my floors/walls/ceilings while I slept still gives me major heebie-jeebies.

I have done extensive research on these terrible creatures over the past 6 years since my first encounter, initially to try to figure out what the heck was crawling on my walls, but now more out of curiosity on how to avoid/get rid of them.  Here's what I've learned:  they are "welcomed" pests, as they kill spiders and other things; they are venomous, but not a real danger; they like damp, cool places like the bathroom or basement; they often enter your home through your pipes; they can live up to five (!) years; they have advanced eyes and can see you approaching; they like to come out at night; they are not silverfish; they will not attack you (I am not convinced).

I don't care how "useful" they are - they creep me out, and I want zero in my house.  I understand that they cannot hurt or kill me, but I still hate them the most.  When I rank my most hated list of "bugs", the most dangerous ones are not at the top.  "Scariest" bugs?  Sure, dangerous ones rank up there.  "Most hated"?  The creepiest ones win in that competition.

If I had to rank the top 5 most hated, it would probably be:

1) house centipedes,



2) millipedes,

3) praying mantises, 

4) stick insects, 

5) harvestmen (daddy long legs).

I know, my most hated bugs are all things that children find interesting and want to play with.  But, not this child.  No thank you.  I remember crying once when someone put a stick insect on me.  Yes, my country upbringing remains an enigma...