If I ran the world...

If I ran the world, I can think of a number of things I would do.  I decided to limit this list to 20 items, as I believe all lists should be nice, round numbers.  And, it is really unrealistic to believe anyone would read a list of more than 20 things.  Honestly, I figure most people read a 20-item list in multiple sittings.  Who has the attention span for a list this long?  Not I.  It took me 4 sittings just to write the dang thing.  As I thought of more things, I added on.  For everyone's benefit, I cut myself off at 20.  I reserve the right to make an entirely new post of additional items in the future.  These are just the first twenty to pop in my head... enjoy.
________________________________________________________________

1.  There would be no handles on doors that you are supposed to PUSH.  The necessity for this edict was confirmed by another attorney at the courthouse the other day.  They have a door there that has a big handle on it, but you push it open.  He grabbed the handle, shook the door, and told the clerk, "One day I'm going to come up here and take this damn handle off the door!"  I think this every time I go to my bank and pull the door handle and look like a doofus.

2.  $1 would be deducted from the price of a doctor's visit for every minute you have to sit in the waiting room past your appointment time.  If I want medical attention, I am simply at the mercy of my doctor's time management skills?  I call that extortion.

3.  Every street would have a bike lane so I wouldn't have to drive slowly behind cyclists until I can find room to go around.  Don't even get me started on cyclists following traffic laws...

4.  QT crushed ice would be the standard ice for every food and drink establishment.  Everyone knows it is the best kind of ice... why can't anyone else make it?  What DO they do to their ice to make it so soft and crunchable?

5.  It would be illegal to shut down more than one lane of an intersection at one time.  Reducing a 5-lane interstate down to 2 lanes is just asking for all kinds of badness and stupidity.

6.  If your flight got delayed more than 30 minutes for something other than weather conditions, your flight would be free... like with pizza delivery.  I understand that there are many reasons out of an airline's control that may be responsible for delayed flights.  I also understand the pizza guy might hit traffic.  Guess he'll leave earlier next time!

7.  The paperback version of a book would come out at the same time as the hardcover.  None of this "if you want to read the next book in the series right away, you must submit yourself to highway robbery" stuff.  I refuse to pay more than $10 for a book.  Unless it's a new Harry Potter...

8.  Movie theaters would have "adults only" days with no children allowed.  No, I am not against children.  I love kids.  I am simply against the effect children have on my viewing experience.  When I have my own children, I will not take them to anything but G and PG movies until they are in junior high, I pinkie swear it.

9.  Heck, everything would have "adults only" days.  We went to an "adults-only" resort for vacation this year.  I used to think "adults-only" meant topless sunbathing.  It actually means a completely relaxing, quiet vacation full of uninterrupted bliss.  I can only imagine the benefits of implementing the concept in other facets of life....  I will say it again; I do not hate kids.  I think even my parent friends can agree that there are just some times when kid-free is better...

10.  No restaurants or coffee shops would close before 7pm.  I can think of more than 5 places within walking distance of my house that close after lunch.  Not cool.  I love nothing more than walking to the sandwich shop to pick up some dinner at 6, only to find out they close at 4.  Who closes a sandwich place at 4!?

11.  The zoo would be open until sundown.  Seriously, why can't I go to the zoo on a weeknight?!  Do the animals go to bed at 5:00?

12.  Stoplights would be timed appropriately.  No more hitting every stoplight on a major road.  I have two stoplights on my 8 block drive to work every morning.  They are timed perfectly so that when one turns green, the next one turns red right before you get to it.  Yes, I know 8 blocks is close enough to walk.  You walk in heels in 95 degrees.

13.  I would "work from home" every day.  I am not ashamed to admit that I am incredibly jealous of people who can work from home and actually think evil thoughts about them in my head when I see their Facebook status say "Working from home today ;)."  One day, I will have a job where I can work from home, and I will never post about it on Facebook.  That's called "empathy."

14.  I would not let wealthy people compete on shows that award prize money, unless they are playing for charity.  Who wants to root for a millionaire to win another million dollars?  Not I!

15.  I would bring back "exile" as a common form of punishment.  Not sure where I would exile people to... maybe fence in part of Russia or something.  I had to write a paper in a political theory class about what I thought the US should do with Saddam Hussein if they captured him (this was before we actually did, obviously), based on the texts we read in class.  I chose exile.  I won't go into my brilliant in-depth analysis of political theory that led me to that conclusion, but let's just say, it was the perfect punishment.  Bring it back!

16.  Cell phones would get reception at my parents' house.  You can go one mile in almost any direction from my parents' house and get perfect reception.  They live on a HILL.  Why can't you get cell phone reception there?  If you look at a cell phone reception map, I can point to the exact location of my parents' house because there is a tiny hole in the coverage right where they live.  When I go to their house, it's like I cease to exist to the rest of the world.  Which is not always a good thing.

17.  My title would be Supreme Overlord.  If that's a reference to something, I don't know what it is.  I just like the name and believe it fitting for the ruler of the world.  If it is a reference to something evil, I kind of apologize.  If it is a reference to something awesome, I knew it! 

18.  There would be "retirement communities" or "assisted-living facilities" for all ages.  I hear senior citizens talk about their communities, and I am genuinely jealous.  When I tell them that I wish I could live there, they kind of laugh at me.  But, I am totally serious!  I want someone to clean my apartment.  I wish someone cooked all my meals for me.  I wish I had country-club-style amenities at my doorstep.  These things are not just for the retired and elderly!  I could make an argument that working young people could benefit even more from these services than retired people.  This is my million-dollar idea, people!  "Active living communities" for all ages!  If you steal my idea, I will know.  Any backers?

19.  Routine check-ups would actually check you for things that may be wrong with you, instead of just telling you that your heart is beating and how much you weigh.  Maybe we could implement full-body scans for everyone!  I know these are supposedly costly, but I would be interested to know if giving everyone full-body scans and detecting problems early would cost less than not doing it and finding problems way late, thus incurring more costs in treatment.  Regardless, I would at least like a full body scan.  I am a hypochondriac.  I should check if my insurance would cover such a thing...

20.  Coins would no longer exist.  I am sick of my wallet being heavy because it's filled with change.  Why do we even have cash anymore?  How hard can it be to tie everyone's fingerprints to their bank accounts.  This would have a two-fold benefit.  People would always have money at their fingertips (pun-ny), and thefts would decrease exponentially.  Though, I guess the number of dismemberments may increase...