After a long hiatus, I am finally writing a new post! This semester has been perhaps the busiest time of my life... and that's really saying something when I think back to first semester of 2L year, which was quite horrendous. Ok, maybe that semester was worse, lol.
But, now, my first year of grad school is behind me, and I thought it would be good to write a reflection of sorts on the past year and this huge transition in my life.
For the most part, things have really fallen into place in just the way I had hoped they would. Steve moved down here in October, and he had a job secured by February... and not just any job, a job in a field he likes! It was such a weight off my shoulders to know that this move worked out for Steve, as well. The only true hesitation I felt in going back to school and moving us across the country was that it would hurt Steve's chances at pursuing his own dreams... but I think he is very much in a position to follow his own, as well. And, that gives me such a sense of relief. I know how much sacrifice will be involved in being an academic's spouse in the future, and I will be forever grateful to his willingness to "come along for the ride"... wherever that takes us.
After Steve got a job... we got a house! We haven't moved in yet, but it is really, truly, our perfect Texas home. Just like with our last house, I think we kind of "just knew" when we walked in that this was a place where we would feel at home. I can't wait to sit on our deck enjoying warm evenings and hang a hammock in the trees. Knowing that we will be here for at least 4 more years will allow me to really "nest" and make this place somewhere we can be happy to call home for as long as we have it. Plus, my parents are planning to spend a couple months each winter with us, which I am thrilled about! It really makes the distance from my family more bearable.
And, the crux of my new life here... school! Truly, things have gone better than I ever could have hoped. I feel like I am adjusting very well, and I don't know how the first year could have gone much better. All of my worries about how I would do in this new field are slowly evaporating. Sure, every now and then, I really feel that gap of knowledge between me and others, but the gap is shrinking each day... and I'm finding my own background to be of more use than I had anticipated. I feel like I have a real plan for the next 4-5 years of my life, and I can see it as much more "real" now. I come home excited to discuss what I did each day... which is a nice contrast to the complaining I did when I used to get home from work. I am sure Steve enjoys the change, as well :)
And, the best part is - I have never regretted or questioned my decision for even one moment over the past year, not once. It took me longer than some (though not as long as others!) to find what I feel that I am meant to do with my life, but I am so glad that I decided to "go for it" and not be complacent with a good job that didn't make me happy. I know that this is what I want to do, and I am lucky to have an incredibly supportive husband who can see how much better this is for me, and in turn, for us.
Is it still incredibly terrifying when I stop and think about what I actually did to get here? Yes. Do I still worry about my future? Of course I do. But, I never regret my decision. This choice was a gamble, and it still is... but it is one that I hope will pay off in the long run and one that I won't regret, no matter the outcome. I can look myself in the mirror each day and know that I have done everything in my power to give myself the life I want and that I did not shy away from the hard choices and sacrifice necessary to do that. I know not everyone is in a position to follow their dreams, and I am so thankful that I was... and am.
