I feel like I owe "The Hills" an apology...

To "The Hills" and all other fake reality shows out there:  I'm sorry.

I watched The Hills once... yes, once.  It was so terrible, I couldn't bring myself to watch another episode.  I understand that it was terrible in a must-see-tv kind of way, but still, it was just one bandwagon I never jumped on.  Now, NYC Prep - that was an awesome guilty pleasure reality show.  That show was so ridiculous, I laughed insanely at every episode.  I still don't know if it was supposed to be funny...  But, back to The Hills.  I didn't like it because it didn't seem at all like reality.  It was so staged, it made it difficult to watch as "reality" television.  And, after hearing the stars discussing how they reenacted scenes and made certain occurrences more dramatic for taping, I decided I was happy with my decision to forgo that particular reality show.  And, really, all other "reality" shows that aren't real.  I thought, that's not reality.  How can you call it a reality show when it's not real?!


I made the assumption, however, that a reality show would be improved by actually reflecting reality.  I assumed that people wanted to see "reality"... that I wanted to see reality.  I wanted real reality.

Well, tonight, I saw a real reality show, and it was terrible.  Absolutely terrible!

The show was Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition.  Now, the show itself isn't completely "real", to be sure.  They say the guy stays with the people for 3 months and lives with them... I don't believe it.  They don't really mention the fact that they pay for the contestants' healthy food for the year-long show.  They dump all these resources in the person's lap and help them lose weight at an unnatural pace.  Now, it's more realistic than The Biggest Loser, but still, it skirted the delicate balance between reality and tv production pretty well.  I admit that I enjoyed watching someone lose 200 pounds over the course of a one-hour TV show.  I loved seeing the people emerge at their reveal and show that happy ever after.  In reality, it's incredibly difficult to lose weight as quickly and as successfully as these people do, but it's inspiring to see it happen... and America loves a good success story.  We love rooting for the underdog... overcoming obstacles, persevering, accomplishing their goals.  It makes us feel good inside to see it happen.

You know what doesn't make you feel good inside?  Seeing the underdog fail.  This week's episode of Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition featured a 490 pound man.  In the first 3 months, the guy lost 110 pounds, putting him at 380 pounds.  Yay!  Go, guy, go!  We love to see that.  In the second 3 months, he struggled and only lost 20 pounds, putting him at 360.  But, still, positive progress... struggling to overcome obstacles... just enough reality sprinkled in to make it relate-able to viewers.  Over the next three months... the guy gained back over 60 pounds.  He was eating fast food every day, not working out, sneaking around behind his wife's back to cheat on his diet, not sticking to the program... and he even admitted he had become suicidal because he felt worthless and felt like a failure at everything he did.  So, the trainer on the show decided he was beyond his help because he was so addicted to food... and the trainer took him to a food addict rehab facility and left.  That was the end.  No reveal, no weight loss story, just a guy losing weight, then gaining most of it back because he was addicted to food.

At first, I kind of thought... hmm, well, I guess they can't have every episode be a big successful weight loss story.  Then, I was kind of mad that I didn't get to see what I tuned into the show to see.  It's called Extreme Makeover: Weight Loss Edition.  There was barely any weight loss, and there was definitely no extreme makeover!  I told Steve that this would be like Extreme Makeover: Home Edition saying "Sorry poor people, we're not building you a house, after all!"  Can you imagine Extreme Makeover: Home Edition with no house?!  No, because it's ridiculous!  (After reading this out loud to Steve, his comical reaction:  "Move that bus!  No, don't move that bus!  Because there's no house!")

This made me decide that I don't actually want reality in my reality shows.  Is it realistic that someone who is morbidly obese turns right back to their old ways the second they aren't being monitored, and gains the weight back?  Yes, that is totally realistic.  But it's terrible television!  No one wants to see a suicidal, depressed, food addict on these kinds of shows.  They want to see someone overcoming the death of their father and losing 200 pounds and going from zero to hero in an hour flat!  These shows are supposed to be inspirational!

It's just like how everyone got so mad when The Bachelor turned down both of his choices.  Is it realistic that a person will not find love among 20 preselected contestants over the course of 8 weeks?  Yes.  But, again, no one wants to see that!  They want to see the love, even if it's a sham.  It's the same reason women on Survivor now are given toiletries to shave their legs and armpits.  No one wants to see women's hairy legs on TV every week, no matter how realistic.

So, I feel like I have to apologize to The Hills.  Even though, I still think it was a terrible TV show, I admit that I can no longer discount it for its lack of reality.  I think I always knew that the general public didn't want to see actual reality... but I never suspected that I didn't want to see actual reality.  I thought what would improve reality television, what would make me like it, and what it really lacked, was "reality"... but, I guess it must be something else...