The other day, I was on my way to my grandmother's wake at the funeral home. I knew that another person was going to be laid out at the same funeral home at the same time... and their last name was Smith* (*changed to preserve anonymity). I am from a very small town, and I was trying to think of all the Smiths I knew, trying to figure out whose grandmother this Smith might be. I named off about 5 different Smiths that I went to school with.
When I got to the funeral home, I started seeing the different members of the Smith family. I saw 4 out of the 5 Smiths I knew... and Josh was the one who was not there. But, I saw that Josh's sister was there. So, my natural curiosity had me on the lookout for Josh all evening. I had known him since 6th grade, and I had a few classes with him, even though he was a year older. I hadn't seen him since he graduated high school, so I was interested to see what he looked like.
Hours passed, and I never saw Josh. However, a few times during the evening I did see a guy that looked very familiar to me, but I couldn't place him. I didn't want to stare at him, naturally, but I just could not figure out who he was. The second he left the funeral home, I realized that it had been Josh! I had seen him multiple times that evening but did not recognize him. Now, I have seen other people from school that I haven't recognized or couldn't place... but it was usually because I barely knew them or they had gained/lost a lot of weight. Josh looked almost exactly the same when I thought about it, just maybe a little more filled out than in high school. And, Josh was someone I had classes with and talked to pretty regularly.
When I was younger, I always remember being amazed when my mom didn't recognize a high school classmate... because it was hard for me to believe that I could ever forget someone I went to school with. I was in school with the same people almost my entire life, and each grade only had about 150 kids. I knew everyone. There was no way I'd forget someone...
Yeah, well... I did! I felt so old when I realized I hadn't recognized someone I had gone to school with for years. It had been 10 years since I saw Josh. And, when I realized that... I felt even older.
I usually feel younger than I am, like nothing has changed since I was 16. I'm still a kid in my mind. So, it's a little jarring when I am reminded how much time has passed since then. My mom tells me she still feels the same as when she was in high school, and I laugh. But, maybe she's right. Maybe I will always feel 16, and it will be incredibly depressing every time I don't recognize a high school classmate... or even totally forget they exist, which has
No wonder people try all kinds of crazy stuff to stay feeling or looking young... feeling old is terrible! No offense, old people, but I'd like to stay feeling young as long as I can. I have plenty of time to feel old. No more of this "feeling old", please.
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