Sunday, April 29, 2012

Amanda's Awesome Book of Grammatical Nonsensities

So, I was talking to hubby on gchat the other day, and I accused him of telling a "boldfaced lie."  This is the conversation that followed.  I made 2 changes to this: 1) took out hubby's username because I'm nice, and 2) took out a few words that were not so PG, again, because I'm nice.  Some of the statements are a bit out of order due to response times not matching up correctly, but you can figure it out.  I'm not taking the time to change that... because while I am nice, I am also lazy.

Enjoy...


  me: that is a boldfaced lie
  lie
 hubby: bald-faced is the expression
 me: well that doesnt make any sense
  i like mine better
  was it you who kept asking me if it's "flesh" something out or "flush" it out?
1:29 PM hubby: flesh it out
 me: i know that
  but someone was asking me that the other day
  must have been matt
  i get all the men in my life mixed up
 hubby: bald-faced lie derives from people with no facial hair being more honest-appearing
  and could get away with lies
  even obvious lies
 me: thats not true. it means it's bald... as in obvious
  like naked
 hubby: compares to scoundrel's with moustaches
 me: i made up my description
 hubby: i know
 me: or, better yet...
1:30 PM it's brazen and bold
 hubby: mine comes from etymological study
 me: and shows on your face
  thus, bold faced
 hubby: again, not even close
 me: or... like it's in bold
  like... WOW, what a lie!
 hubby: your descriptions are a bald-faced lie
 me: i don't recognize that spelling
  it's like your words don't exist to me
 hubby: not my fault your intellegence and knowledge pale in comparison to mine
1:31 PM me: intelligence
 hubby: typo
  ass
 me: mensa reject
  mensa would totally take me
  i have a 149 iq
 hubby: again, bald-faced lie
 me: totally not
  im sure i have the records somewhere
 hubby: well i maxed out the iq test i took
1:32 PM me: you are just jealous of my genius
 hubby: so all they know is i'm above a 145
  but not sure how much
 me: thats a huge lie
  lie
 hubby: nope
 me: that kind
 hubby: ask my parents
 me: boldfaced
  your parents also say you read at 2
 hubby: quit trying to make that stick
  it's not a thing
 me: obviously you manipulate the system
 hubby: bald-faced lie is correct
 me: nope. not saying it.
  it sounds ridiculous
  bald faced
1:33 PM hubby: nevertheless, it is correct
  "i'm sorry your honor, but that sounds ridiculous"
  "ladies and gentlemen of the jury, my opposing counsel's story is ridiculous"
1:34 PM don't even pretend like you could get away with that
  saying you could is a bald-faced lie
 me: in a court of equity i could
  because they can do whatever they want
  or in jeffco
 hubby: i'm getting lunch
  bye
 me: i win.
1:35 PM hubby: no
  you're still wrong
  you don't win if you're wrong
 me: wrong.
  bye
 me: i'm a lawyer. i win when i'm right AND when i'm wrong
1:36 PM hubby: barefaced lie is also acceptable
  looks like boldfaced is also acceptable    (HA! -Commentary by Amanda...)
1:38 PM but stupid
 me: nope, much more acceptable
  go to lunch nerdfest
 hubby: baldfaced is best
  boldfaced "sounds like a printer error"
  HA
  both invented by my dear friend, Willy the Shakes
1:40 PM me: he isnt' real
 hubby: i ran a marathon this morning = baldfaced lie
 me: but i am glad i am right
  baldeagled lie
1:41 PM that sounds better
 hubbyi just ate the ribeyes is a boldfaced lie
 me: spreadeagled lie
 hubby: there's just too few contexts in which that is correct
  that's a completely different kind of thing
 me: no, its a lie that is waiting there ready 
 hubby: "those red bumps are normal" is a spreadeagled lie
1:42 PM me: i feel like a grammar book could be based on our conversation
  an awesome grammar book
  amanda's awesome book of grammatical nonsensities
 hubby: could be a new regular on your blog
1:43 PM me: go eat lunch
 hubby: bye
  bye
  that was a boldfaced bye
  HAHAHA
  I'M HILARIOUS
 me: you aren't even funny a little bit
1:44 PM hubby: you're right. I'm funny the whole bit
 me: did you know that an upside down question mark is a sarcasm indicator?
 hubby: and for you to suggest otherwise is a baldfaced lie
  i think justin and i created that in con law 2
 me: no, it really exists
  outside of your imaginations
1:45 PM hubby: i'm hungry
  stop talking
  i'm goin
  see you tonight

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