Resolutions? Goals? Decisions? What?

Ok... so... it's 2012.  As of right now, it's pretty 2012.  As in... we are almost two weeks into 2012.  And, I am still having trouble figuring out my New Year's resolutions.  I used to abhor the idea of resolutions... until I made myself stick to one last year, and now it's like I'm on some power trip.  I feel invincible!  I made a resolution last January, and I kept it.  I'm sorry, 2011, but I totally win.  And, since I enjoy winning things, as do all normal human beings who aren't satisfied with the proliferation of participation ribbons, I have decided I should similarly conquer 2012 posthaste.

But, like I said... I'm not quite decided on what to make my resolutions.  I'm running low on resolve.  I hate calling them resolutions in the first place.  It makes me feel like a member of the UN or something.  "I propose a resolution for world peace."  I like to call them "goals."  I feel like you can make progress toward a goal, even if you don't "meet" it.  It's like striving toward something.  A resolution sounds so final... like you have to do this thing 100% or you lose.  I don't like ultimatums.  As I said, I like winning... and I consider making progress toward a goal "winning," and thus winning is made easier by having goals instead of resolutions.  So, goals, it is.

The problem is... I'm indecisive.  I like other people to make decisions, so then I can blame them when they turn out to be crappy ones.  Decisions entail so much responsibility.  I always vote for third-party candidates, because then I can complain about the candidate who wins because, hey, I didn't vote for them.  Ok, it's not the only reason I vote third-party, but it's a nice perk... or the only perk... besides the self-satisfaction obtained by voting with my ideals.  The idea of deciding one thing I want to change about my life this year sounds daunting.  Like, you have to pick something really good.  If you tell someone that you've decided to start wearing more orange, that sounds ridiculous.  If you tell someone that you've decided to give up a life of violent crime, that sounds pretty awesome.  This is why I was always glad that I wasn't a denomination that observed Lent... because I could never figure out what I'd "give up."  My friends gave up things like chocolate, or TV, or Facebook... but those all sound awful.  I always figured I would have given up something easy... like mayonnaise, which I hate.  But I could have tricked people into thinking I really liked it and it was a struggle for me to go without it.  Say things like "Oh man, this sandwich would be so much better with mayo."  Or "I have such a hankering for some tuna salad!"  Actually, I don't like tuna, and I don't use the word hankering.  But, that would have been part of the ruse!  And, like 85% of people love mayo, so everyone would feel like it was a huge sacrifice.  But, that would have been dishonest... and then the next year, I could have given up tricking people into thinking I liked mayo!  Wow, I am coming up with ideas left and right!

Anyway.  Back to the problem at hand.  Goals for 2012.  Since I am so indecisive, I decided to make a checklist of multiple goals in multiple areas of my life.  A "holistic" approach to 2012.  Usually, the term holistic sounds kind of "limp" to me, but I guess I have finally found a real application for it in my life.  Therefore, behold my Holistic Goals for 2012.  (See how I have cleverly bolded the word "list" in Ho"list"ic.  I didn't even plan that.  It's like it was meant to be for me to use the word holistic for my list.)

Holistic Goals for 2012:

1.  Finish my "creative nonfiction" novella.  This is my most successful attempt at a longer-form piece thus far, and now I just need to muster the motivation to finish it.  I'm at like 60 pages right now.

2.  Publish something.  This is very vague because I have no idea what I want to do.  This might be print, online... fiction, nonfiction... don't know.  I'd just like to get something published this year.  Even if it's for free.  Don't care.

3.  Lose 10 pounds.  Ok, so last year's goal was to lead a healthier lifestyle.  Basically, I wanted to lose some weight and join a gym (and actually go).  I got to my "goal" and stuck with healthier eating and exercise.  But, now it's just that last little bit.  I don't know if I will actually lose 10 pounds, but it seems like a good round number to strive for.

4.  Run a race.  5k, 10k, half marathon.  Who knows?  Right now, I run 0k, so anything would be an improvement.

5.  Finish decorating the house.  We have been living in our house for 14 months now... and still have some bare walls.  It's getting kind of inexcusable at this point...

6.  Organize the house.  Now that we've been here for over a year, it's time to declutter, go through those boxes in the basement, and organize cabinets/rooms into workable configurations instead of just "hey, let's put this here."  Plus, our office is not quite usable at the moment... and neither are our file cabinets... which have no files and are instead stuffed full with random papers.

7.  Volunteer.  I hope to volunteer at different places all year and then pick an organization I want to stick with.  We'll see what that ends up being!

8.  Read 25 books.  For this goal, I'm totally counting my guilty pleasure books.

9.  Learn a new skill.  I would really love to learn to knit.  But, I don't know anyone who knits to teach me.  Ha.  I guess I could teach myself... or take a class... which sounds really lame.  Or, I could just pick something else.  Like the violin.  I could totally teach myself the violin much more easily than I could knitting.

10.  Cook more.  I don't want to set a number on this because my schedule is not very constant.  I feel like we are gone a lot of weekends and have a lot of evening commitments.  And, some evenings, I get home from work and I just don't feel like doing anything.  Cooking qualifies as "anything."  Why cook a healthy meal when there are perfectly good burritos in the freezer?  I wish I was joking... kind of.  I really like those frozen burritos.

11.  Watch educational television more than I watch mindless television.  Ok, I really just added this one on because I didn't want you to think that I only put ten goals for the sake of having ten, though that's obviously what I did because I like round numbers.  This is one I've already been trying to fulfill and succeeding at.  As long as you count Pawn Stars, Barefoot Contessa, and Downton Abbey as "educational."

12.  Improve my piano skill.  So, I may have added this one because, after adding the last one, I realized how cool it would be to have "12 in '12".  I'm not adding that to my title, but I will be thinking it.  My 12 in '12.  Yes.  But, I do want to get better at playing piano.  I've been playing for 20 years, but am not that great... perhaps average.  Don't judge.  I bet most of you can't even play piano at all, so there.