Things I hate about being short:
1. You walk slower. Your stride is undoubtedly shorter than your companions, and you must huff and puff to keep up with them on your tiny legs. And, do they care? No. They aren't huffing and puffing to keep up. You have to keep up with them. No way are they going to walk abnormally slow just to convenience you. No way. They're average, and they don't have to cater to the variants. Plus, there is one of you and more than one of them, probably... or at least they're bigger... so they win.
2. You can't reach anything. I'm not exaggerating. Anything. I couldn't even reach the stupid little air vent on the plane the other day. I had to unbuckle my seat belt and basically stand up to adjust it. Ridiculous. I'm at home, I can't reach the top two shelves of the dang cabinets. I can't reach the pull on the ceiling fan. I'm at work, I can't reach the top shelves. I'm at the grocery store... I definitely can't reach the top few shelves. And, undoubtedly, a lot of the things that I want are on the top shelves! And, it's not even the shelves... it's also things that are too far "back" to reach. I couldn't reach across one of the freezer things at the store the other day and had to ask someone to reach across it and grab something for me. I'm sure they had a laugh later about how short my arms must be. Luckily, I look really helpless since I'm so little and childlike in appearance, so people generally react kindly to my requests for assistance.
3. Your clothing options are severely limited. Especially as a teenager. You know how hard it was to find clothes that fit my stumpy arms and legs when I was younger? Really hard. All of the "petite" clothing was for old ladies. I would have to buy really expensive jeans so I could get them in "length" sizes, unless I wanted to wear mom jeans... or get them hemmed... but hemmed jeans are majorly dorky (just FYI, in the boonies, "really expensive jeans" = more than $50). And, all of my sweater sleeves had to be rolled up. Because all of the "cool" junior clothing was made for giants. And, don't even think about finding a prom dress off the rack. No sirree. Clothing manufacturers finally caught on and have slowly started offering more petites, but I'm still basically limited to a few stores. Unless I want to pay for tailoring. But, that will have to wait until I am rich. Also, things like workout pants do not often come in short sizes. Who wants to get a pair of stretchy cotton pants "taken up"? That's obnoxious. Short people exercise too!
4. You have to eat less. This really sucks, let me tell you. I love to eat, and unfortunately, if I eat as much as the "average" person, um... well... you can tell. It's the double whammy of suck when it comes to your food intake. First, you gain weight easier because you can't eat as much. Second, you can see the gained weight easier because there is less of you to begin with. Five pounds on a short person is like twenty on a normal sized one. You expand at unprecedented rates. This leads to needing to exercise more, which leads to the problem of freakishly long workout pants. You'd think they would make more short pants, then.
5. You can't sit on barstools. Ok, this might sound counter-intuitive, but hear me out. Yes, barstools make a short person "taller", so you would think they would be good things. Wrong. My short legs can't reach the little footrest rung of the barstool, so my legs just dangle there. Do you know how uncomfortable it is to sit in a chair with nowhere to put your feet? If you're tall, probably not. And, because your feet can't touch anywhere, it's almost impossible to move the stool once you are on it. Forget scooting close to the table; you are immobile. For a short person, sitting on a barstool kind of feels more like sitting in a highchair... or like you are a dwarf in a giant's world... sitting in chairs that were not designed for someone of your stature. Like Nordic giants created all furniture. Actually, most of my life feels like I am a dwarf in a giant's world... how's that for melodramatic?
6. Nothing is made for you. This often results in having to get "children's" things. You want to play golf and you are 5'1? Sorry, you have to get "special" clubs. I don't even think women's clubs are short enough for short women. Youth clubs, perhaps. You want a football jersey? Youth sizes. Looking for a sofa? Good luck finding one where you don't encounter the "dwarf in a giant's world" problem. Most of the sofas I looked at for our house, if I sat back on the sofa, my feet alone dangled off. Seriously, the sofa edge hit at about my ankles. Have furniture makers never heard of proportion? And, I hope you didn't have your sights set on a particular wedding dress... because unless you get it custom-made, a lot of them either cannot be shortened or at least not shortened enough. I found a few dresses I really liked, but one had a scalloped bottom, and they said they couldn't take it up without the dress looking ridiculous. The dress I ended up picking had detailing toward the bottom, so they could only take off 6 inches (that wasn't enough), so I had to wear at least 3 inch heels for me not to step on it. No ballet slipper comfort for me!
7. You get called names. Yes, usually in good fun, but almost any "nickname" you get will have to do with your height. Shorty, shrimp, pygmy, midget, half-pint, fun-size, short stuff. If you can think of it, someone will call you it. Oh, and you get "cute" a lot. When you're short, you're not "pretty," you're "cute." Like a baby... or a puppy. Small things are cute, apparently.
8. You have to swim in the 4 foot section of the pool. Your friends all want to be in the 5 foot section. Guess what? You're 5 feet tall. You are treading water at that point. So, you either have to be in better shape than your friends so you can tread while they stand, or they have to be willing to stay in the waist-deep section of the pool that comes up to your chin.
9. You will never be able to see. This is the worst and one of the most frustrating... sitting in any kind of theater/stadium... you will absolutely not be able to see over the person's head who is in front of you. I never have the good fortune of sitting behind someone short... they are always tall, never fails. And, forget "standing" events. Your head will be lost in a sea of shoulders. Why pay for good seats? They are wasted unless you are front row. I have experienced front row... it is a mecca for the shorties.
Things I like about being short:
1. You have leg room. Tons of it. And, you take up half a seat. I never had to worry about touching the person next to me on the train because I was small enough to take up less than a seat. And, on a plane, I don't mind being in the middle. Also, my legs dangle from a seat, so I can stretch out, and my knees are in no danger of being knocked against the seat in front of me. Someone reclines their seat? No effect on my comfort. Basically, short people always ride first class.
2. People always think you're younger than you are. This can cut both ways, but as I get older, I am starting to appreciate it more. When I was 21 and people thought I was 16, not so much. But, as I get closer to 30, I realize that people will think I'm still in my 20s for quite a while. When dressed casually, I still easily pass for a college student. I mean, I'm only 27 right now, but that's at least a 5 year difference!
3. People trust you. I'm not kidding. I swear people think I'm nicer simply because I'm small. Especially kids. Kids love me. Probably because I'm their size. You aren't intimidating or imposing, and people warm up to you easily. You pose no threat, and I think people want to believe that smaller people are just more timid, honest, and pleasant. Perhaps that's a munchkin stereotype...
4. You can stand up on a plane. Like, when you are waiting to deplane, you can fit under the overhead compartments without crouching. I always feel special because I can do that. Like, finally, a benefit of being short! Also, think of anywhere normal people might have to duck, odds are, you don't have to. Basements seem like vaulted ceilings. We have a "tight" staircase in our house, and I never have to worry about hitting my head.
5. You get people to do things for you. I figure if my shortness provides so many limitations, I'm going to exploit it. So, I do. I ask people to do things for me all the time, and they don't hesitate because they figure I'm too small to do it. Sometimes I am, but sometimes I just don't want to expend the energy it takes to do it. Like, I *can* carry our laundry basket down the two flights of stairs to our laundry room... it is heavy and awkward with short arms, but I can do it if I really need to. Usually, I just ask Steve to do it. It's much easier for him, so it makes sense. It also happens to get me out of doing it. People also offer to help a lot. If they see you reaching for something, they will swoop in and get it for you. After all, you are small, cute, and trust-worthy... people just want to help you.
6. It's easy to touch your toes. Hey, don't discount this. Your legs are shorter, it's easier. When I'm 70, I will still be putting on my shoes with ease. Heck, I'll be even shorter when I'm 70. It will probably be even easier then!
7. You can wear children's clothing. This is great because children's clothes are cheaper. Of course, you're not going to find many age-appropriate things. But, for t-shirts, athletic apparel, etc... it's great. I mentioned before, youth sizes for football jerseys. I got a youth football jersey, and it was almost half the price of a normal one. And, it looked cooler. In high school, I would buy clothes from the kids Abercrombie store... because then you were cool because you had the Abercrombie on your shirt, but you paid half the price, and no one was the wiser. I am really thinking about trying this with Brooks Brothers now that I'm older... though they might frown on that sort of thing.
8. Bathtubs feel like hot tubs. Even normal sized bathtubs... pretty roomy. This is not lost on me at the end of a long day when I can disappear into our normal sized bathtub and stretch my legs completely. It's pretty nice.
9. You cost less money. This is generally true. You eat less food, you drink less alcohol... basically, you're a cheap date. But, it's more than that. You will save money on groceries because you eat 2/3 as much as a normal person. You can eat a side salad and a cup of soup as a meal and be full. You can "split" things with people and be satisfied. Also, this is very negligible, but you use less gas. Seriously, you weigh less, so your car is more efficient! And, same thing with shoes. I swear my shoes last longer because there is less stress on them. These are all true for "thin" average-sized or tall people, as well... but more likely to be true for short people than the general population, so I count this as an advantage for us shorties.
10. You can date short guys. You will almost never be taller than a guy, if you are a short girl. Short guys have it rougher, but short girls have it made. Your dating pool is wide open. 5'4? No problem, that's 3 inches taller than me... and I feel taller because he's shorter. 6'? Great! He can reach things.
Guess today, the good outweighs the bad. Some days it's like that... other days... you're just short.
Also, this is an awesome post from another blog that I found about being short.
5. You can't sit on barstools. Ok, this might sound counter-intuitive, but hear me out. Yes, barstools make a short person "taller", so you would think they would be good things. Wrong. My short legs can't reach the little footrest rung of the barstool, so my legs just dangle there. Do you know how uncomfortable it is to sit in a chair with nowhere to put your feet? If you're tall, probably not. And, because your feet can't touch anywhere, it's almost impossible to move the stool once you are on it. Forget scooting close to the table; you are immobile. For a short person, sitting on a barstool kind of feels more like sitting in a highchair... or like you are a dwarf in a giant's world... sitting in chairs that were not designed for someone of your stature. Like Nordic giants created all furniture. Actually, most of my life feels like I am a dwarf in a giant's world... how's that for melodramatic?
6. Nothing is made for you. This often results in having to get "children's" things. You want to play golf and you are 5'1? Sorry, you have to get "special" clubs. I don't even think women's clubs are short enough for short women. Youth clubs, perhaps. You want a football jersey? Youth sizes. Looking for a sofa? Good luck finding one where you don't encounter the "dwarf in a giant's world" problem. Most of the sofas I looked at for our house, if I sat back on the sofa, my feet alone dangled off. Seriously, the sofa edge hit at about my ankles. Have furniture makers never heard of proportion? And, I hope you didn't have your sights set on a particular wedding dress... because unless you get it custom-made, a lot of them either cannot be shortened or at least not shortened enough. I found a few dresses I really liked, but one had a scalloped bottom, and they said they couldn't take it up without the dress looking ridiculous. The dress I ended up picking had detailing toward the bottom, so they could only take off 6 inches (that wasn't enough), so I had to wear at least 3 inch heels for me not to step on it. No ballet slipper comfort for me!
7. You get called names. Yes, usually in good fun, but almost any "nickname" you get will have to do with your height. Shorty, shrimp, pygmy, midget, half-pint, fun-size, short stuff. If you can think of it, someone will call you it. Oh, and you get "cute" a lot. When you're short, you're not "pretty," you're "cute." Like a baby... or a puppy. Small things are cute, apparently.
8. You have to swim in the 4 foot section of the pool. Your friends all want to be in the 5 foot section. Guess what? You're 5 feet tall. You are treading water at that point. So, you either have to be in better shape than your friends so you can tread while they stand, or they have to be willing to stay in the waist-deep section of the pool that comes up to your chin.
9. You will never be able to see. This is the worst and one of the most frustrating... sitting in any kind of theater/stadium... you will absolutely not be able to see over the person's head who is in front of you. I never have the good fortune of sitting behind someone short... they are always tall, never fails. And, forget "standing" events. Your head will be lost in a sea of shoulders. Why pay for good seats? They are wasted unless you are front row. I have experienced front row... it is a mecca for the shorties.
Things I like about being short:
1. You have leg room. Tons of it. And, you take up half a seat. I never had to worry about touching the person next to me on the train because I was small enough to take up less than a seat. And, on a plane, I don't mind being in the middle. Also, my legs dangle from a seat, so I can stretch out, and my knees are in no danger of being knocked against the seat in front of me. Someone reclines their seat? No effect on my comfort. Basically, short people always ride first class.
2. People always think you're younger than you are. This can cut both ways, but as I get older, I am starting to appreciate it more. When I was 21 and people thought I was 16, not so much. But, as I get closer to 30, I realize that people will think I'm still in my 20s for quite a while. When dressed casually, I still easily pass for a college student. I mean, I'm only 27 right now, but that's at least a 5 year difference!
3. People trust you. I'm not kidding. I swear people think I'm nicer simply because I'm small. Especially kids. Kids love me. Probably because I'm their size. You aren't intimidating or imposing, and people warm up to you easily. You pose no threat, and I think people want to believe that smaller people are just more timid, honest, and pleasant. Perhaps that's a munchkin stereotype...
4. You can stand up on a plane. Like, when you are waiting to deplane, you can fit under the overhead compartments without crouching. I always feel special because I can do that. Like, finally, a benefit of being short! Also, think of anywhere normal people might have to duck, odds are, you don't have to. Basements seem like vaulted ceilings. We have a "tight" staircase in our house, and I never have to worry about hitting my head.
5. You get people to do things for you. I figure if my shortness provides so many limitations, I'm going to exploit it. So, I do. I ask people to do things for me all the time, and they don't hesitate because they figure I'm too small to do it. Sometimes I am, but sometimes I just don't want to expend the energy it takes to do it. Like, I *can* carry our laundry basket down the two flights of stairs to our laundry room... it is heavy and awkward with short arms, but I can do it if I really need to. Usually, I just ask Steve to do it. It's much easier for him, so it makes sense. It also happens to get me out of doing it. People also offer to help a lot. If they see you reaching for something, they will swoop in and get it for you. After all, you are small, cute, and trust-worthy... people just want to help you.
6. It's easy to touch your toes. Hey, don't discount this. Your legs are shorter, it's easier. When I'm 70, I will still be putting on my shoes with ease. Heck, I'll be even shorter when I'm 70. It will probably be even easier then!
7. You can wear children's clothing. This is great because children's clothes are cheaper. Of course, you're not going to find many age-appropriate things. But, for t-shirts, athletic apparel, etc... it's great. I mentioned before, youth sizes for football jerseys. I got a youth football jersey, and it was almost half the price of a normal one. And, it looked cooler. In high school, I would buy clothes from the kids Abercrombie store... because then you were cool because you had the Abercrombie on your shirt, but you paid half the price, and no one was the wiser. I am really thinking about trying this with Brooks Brothers now that I'm older... though they might frown on that sort of thing.
8. Bathtubs feel like hot tubs. Even normal sized bathtubs... pretty roomy. This is not lost on me at the end of a long day when I can disappear into our normal sized bathtub and stretch my legs completely. It's pretty nice.
9. You cost less money. This is generally true. You eat less food, you drink less alcohol... basically, you're a cheap date. But, it's more than that. You will save money on groceries because you eat 2/3 as much as a normal person. You can eat a side salad and a cup of soup as a meal and be full. You can "split" things with people and be satisfied. Also, this is very negligible, but you use less gas. Seriously, you weigh less, so your car is more efficient! And, same thing with shoes. I swear my shoes last longer because there is less stress on them. These are all true for "thin" average-sized or tall people, as well... but more likely to be true for short people than the general population, so I count this as an advantage for us shorties.
10. You can date short guys. You will almost never be taller than a guy, if you are a short girl. Short guys have it rougher, but short girls have it made. Your dating pool is wide open. 5'4? No problem, that's 3 inches taller than me... and I feel taller because he's shorter. 6'? Great! He can reach things.
Guess today, the good outweighs the bad. Some days it's like that... other days... you're just short.
Also, this is an awesome post from another blog that I found about being short.
You had me cracking up through this entire post. You are SO RIGHT! Seriously...you pegged pretty much every good and bad thing about being short to a "T"!! Thanks for a great laugh and a reminder why it is both awesome and awful to be so short.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, my new nickname at work now that I have Cayden is "Little Mama." Really?!?!
And, the most demeaning thing that has ever happened to me in a professional environment had to do with my height. One of the partners at my old firm patted me on the head. Seriously. I know if I was taller, that NEVER would have happened. Goes back to that whole young-looking, cute, and small thing....
Little Mama. LOL. That cracks me up, though I can't believe they call you that! I hope it's women calling you that and not men! :)
ReplyDeleteI've been pat on the head a lot as well. I can't remember if my boss has done it... but shorties definitely get treated a little differently!
So far, just the women have called me Little Mama (well, to my face anyway). One of the judges comments on my size fairly often..."fun size" has come up more than once, as has "little one." It's so funny because I would never call our tall co-workers "tall one" or "king size." LOL
ReplyDeleteI found something else that is great about being short--I can hold Cayden's hand and help him walk without hurting my back! Justin says it is so hard to walk with Cayden while holding his hand because it hurts but I don't have that problem! Score for short mommies! LOL
ReplyDelete