Top 5 Signs of a Bad Driver

Bad driving is something I feel very strongly about.  We are all surrounded by an immense sea of idiots on the road.  How these people passed their driver's test is beyond me.  How they have made smart enough choices to even survive thus far in life sometimes astounds me.  When people do certain things in their cars, it is enough to make me launch off in a fit of road rage... safe within the confines of my vehicle.  I am lucky that I am such a non-confrontational person, because otherwise someone probably would have killed me in response to the rash of anger that explodes in my car at times.  I suppose that I value my life too much to engage in actual expressive road rage, thankfully.  Instead, I have decided to make a list of my top 5 worst driver offenses that I regularly witness.

1.  Not using your blinker.  I admit that I am sometimes guilty of this, but never when it actually impacts another driver's choices.  My frustration is when I want to turn left, and I see someone coming, so I wait... then it turns out they were turning also and didn't use their blinker.  Thus, I could have turned left and usually miss my chance and have to wait for another opening.  My usual response:  "Nice blinker, moron!"  Windows up, mind you.

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2.  Driving the wrong way down an aisle.  It seems like every time I go to the grocery store, someone is driving the wrong way down an aisle.  Guess what?  Those huge arrows are painted on the ground for a reason!  It means "go this way."  Without fail, people totally ignore these arrows and the fact that every car is slanted in the opposite direction, and then someone ends up having to back all the way down the aisle to let the other through.  My usual response:  "Use your brain people!"

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3.  People who need a 10 minute opening to turn left.  I am a cautious driver, and most driving offenses are on this list due to carelessness... but there is such a thing as being too careful.  This is the number one "too careful" offense.  My dad tells me this particular problem comes from a person's lack of depth perception, or at least that's what he tells my mom when she does it.  When I have to sit through multiple lights because someone will not take an opening to turn left, I am not a happy camper.  My usual response:  "10 people could have turned already!"

4.  Fast & the Furious Syndrome.  This is when someone changes lanes like they are street racing.  Once there is just enough room for them to squeeze between two cars, they cut in super quickly going about 20 mph over the speed limit, leaving you thanking God that your car didn't just get clipped into the concrete partition.  Perhaps they think acting like a race car driver makes their mundane task of driving more exciting, or perhaps they just think they are cooler and more important than every other driver on the road.  My usual response:  "I hope you get arrested!"

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*Sorry, this ≠ you.

5.  "I'm more important than everyone else."  This particular offense can manifest itself in multiple ways.  My "favorite" way is people who drive on the shoulder around stopped traffic on the highway.  They are basically telling you that their time is so much more important than yours that they don't have to obey traffic rules and can instead just flip everyone a big finger as they sidestep the parking lot of a lane in which you are sitting.  Great, thanks!  Another favorite is people who turn right on red when there is a huge sign that says "No right turn on red".  Where are police when you need them?  Also, people who leave their brights on when they are approaching you.  Grr!  My usual response to any offense I believe is related to a person's self-importance (unsurprisingly):  "Wow, now, they must be important!"

Not even in traffic jams!

Now, of course, there are endless traffic offenses that really make my blood boil, but these are simply the 5 that came to mind first.  I consider myself, generally, a pretty level-headed person... but something about bad drivers just brings out the rage in me, hardcore.  I wish I could just unilaterally revoke people's driver's licenses when I see them commit an atrocious driving offense.  Like a citizen's arrest.  I don't care how "free thinking" you are, I think everyone wishes they could have some control over the amount of idiocy around them.  Or, maybe it's just me...